SPIRITISM and the Search for True Spirituality

ALL of us have spiritual as well as material needs.  That is why so many ask such questions  as, what is the purpose of life, whey do people suffer, and what happens to us when we die?  Many sincere people seek answers to these and similar questions at seances, where they consult mediums (also called channels), hoping to communicate with spirits of the dead.  This practice is called spiritism.  (It brings out the demons and it's not a good thing)

adherents of spiritism are found in many countries, and they gather in congregations and churches.  In Brazil, for example, an estimated 4,000,000  spiritists follow the teachings codified by Hyppolyte Leon Denizared Rivail, a 19th century French educator and philosopher who wrote under the name of Allan Kardec, Kardec first  became interested in spiritistic  phenomena in 1854.  He later posed questions to mediums in many places and recorded the answers in The Book of Spirits, published in 1857.  Two other works that he wrote are The Mediums' Book and the Godpel According to Spiritism.

Spiritism has been associated with such religious practices as voodoo, withcraft, magic, or Satanism.  However, those who follow the teachings of Allan Kardec say that their beliefs are different.  Their publications often quote the Bible, and they refer to Jesus as "the guide and example for all humanity."  They say  that Jesus'  teachings are "the purest expression of divine law."  Allan Kardec viewed spritism  writings as  the third revelation of God's law to mankind, the first two being the teachings of Moses and those of Jesus.

Spiritism attracts many because it highlights neighbor love and charitble works.  One spiritist belief is:  "Without charity there is no salvation."  Many spritists are active in social work, promoting hospitals, schools, and other institutions.  Such efforts are commenable.  (It would be more commendable if the administration fees were less than what the people who get that charity is. The people for whom the charity money is raised for is much less than what it should be. I would rather just hand money over to that actual person who needs it desperately)  How, though, do the beliefs of spritists compare with Jesus' teachings as recorded in the Bible?  Let us take two examples: the hope for the dead and the reason for suffering.

Next time: What Hope for the Dead?

The Watchtower, 2001

God's Name Cleared of Reproach

GOD"S Word, the Bible, says:  "Maintain your conduct fine among the nations, that, in the thing in which they are speaking against you as evildoers, they may as a result of your fine works of which they are eyewitnesses glorify God in the day for his inspection."  (1 Peter 2:12) True Christians, therefore, endeavor to maintain fine conduct in order to avoid bringing reproach upon Jehovah's name.

In a remote area of Zambia called Senanga, a school teacher had a radio stolen from his house.  Since Jehovah's Witnesses had been preaching in the area, the man accused them of the theft.  He reported the matter to the police, claiming that the Witnesses had  stolen his radio.  As proof that the Witnesses had been to his house, he produced a tract he had found on the floor. However, the police refused to believe him.  They advised him to go and make a more thorough investigation.

The Witnesses who had worked in the teacher's neighborhood that day were encouraged by the body of elders to go and talk to the teacher about the matter.  Some of the brothers went and spoke to him, explaining that they wanted to clear Jehovah's name of reproach.  During their discussion, they told him that they had met a young man in his house and given a tract to him.  From their description, the teacher recognized the man.  In fact, they belonged to the same church.  The teacher spoke with the young man, but he denied the charges.  The teacher then discussed the matter with the young man's parents and went back home.  Within an hour, the young man's mother returned the stolen radio.

Moved by remorse, the teacher approached the body of elders and asked for forgiveness for making false accusations.  The elders accepted his apology but requested  that the findings  be made public so that everyone  would know that  the Jehovah's Witnesses were innocent.  An announcement was made at the school, thus clearing Jehovah's name of reproach.   Jehovah's Witnesses can keep on preaching freely in the area.

Next time: SPIRITISM and the Search for True Sprituality

The Watchtower, 2001

Conclusion of Simplifying Leads to Joy

Another way to reduce pressure is to think carefully before making decisions.  For example, one Christian decided to build a house.  He chose a very complicated design, although he had never built a house before.  He now realizes that he could have avoided unnecessary problems if he had 'considered his steps' before choosing the design for his home.  (Proverbs 14:15) Another Christian agreed to back a loan for a fellow believer. According to the agreement, if the borrower was unable to repay the loan, the one backing it would be obliged to do so. At first, all went well, but in time the borrower began to renege.  The lender became alarmed and demanded that the backer repay the entire loan.  That put great pressure on the backer.  Could it have been avoided if he had given more careful consideration to all factors before he agreed to assume responsibility for the debt? -Proverbs 17:18.

When we get tired, let us never concludde that we can reduce the pressure  onus and regain  our joy by cutting back on personal Bible study, field service, and meeting attentdance.  Why, these are vital ways in which we can receive Jehovah's holy spirit, a product of which is joy. (Galatians 5:22) Christian activities are always refreshing and usually not excessively tiring.  (Matthew 11:28-30)  It is far more likely that secular or recreational activities, not spiritual ones, are contributing to our fatique. Learning to go to bed at a reasonable hour may help put us back on track.  A  little extra rest can go a long way.  N.H.Knorr, who served as a member of the Governing Body of  Jehpovah's Witnesses unti his death, used to tell missionaries:  "When you get discourage, the first thing to do is to get some rest./  You will be surprised how much better almost any problem seems after you have had a good night's sleep.

Christians are privileged  to serve "the happy God."  (1 Timothy 1:11) As we have seen, we can maintain our joy even when we are beset by serious problems.  Let us keep the Kingdom hope before us, adjust our viewpoint when  necessary, and keep our life simple.  Then, whatever situation we find ourselves in, we will respond  to the apostle Paul's  words:  "Always rejoice  in the Lord.  Once more I will say, Rejoce!" -Philippians 4:4.

Next time: God's Name Cleared of Reproach

The Watchtower, 2001

Simplifying Leads to Joy

You may have little choice in the type of secular work you do or about where you work, but there may be other aspects of your life over which you can exercise some control.  Consider the following experience.

A Christian couple invited an elder in their home for a meal.  In the course of the evening, the brother and his wife confided that of late they had been feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of life.  Although they both had demanding full-tiime jobs, they were not in a position to look for other work.  They wondered howlong they would be able to cope.

When asked for advice, the elder responded, "Simplify."  How?  The husband and his wife were spending up to three hours each day commuting to and from work.  The elder who knew the couple well, suggested that they consider moving closer to their place of employment, so that they would be able to reduce the amount of time that they spent traveling to and from work each day.  The time saved could be spent in caring for other important matters-or just getting some rest. If life's pressures are robbing you of a measure of joy, why not see whether you can get relief by making some adjustments?

Next time: Conclusion of Simplifying Leads to Joy

The Watchtower, 2001

Conclusion of Keep a Positive Spirit

Of  course, Ella did not look forward to spending most of her young adulthood in a prison cell.  But since she could not change her situation, she decided to change her viewpoint. Accordingly, she began to view the prison as her own personal witnessing territory.  "There was  so much preaching to do," she says, "that the years passed very quickly."  After more than five years, Ella was interrogated again. Realizing that prison bars had not destroyed her faith, her interrogators told her:  "We can't release you; you have not changed."  But I have changed!" was Ella's firm reply. "I am in better spirits now than when I first went to prison, and my faith is much stronger than before!"  And she added:  "If you do not want to  release me, I will stay until Jehovah sees fit to deliver me."  Five and a half years of confinement had not robbed Ella of her joy!  She learned to be satisfied in whatever circumstances she found herself.  Can you learn something from her example? -Hebrews 13:5.

Do not conclude that Ella possesses some unusual gift that allows her to face such challenges.  Referring to the period of interrogation that she underwent in the months before she received her sentence, Ella admits:  "I remember  my teeth chattering, and I felt like a frightened sparrow."  (Proverbs 3:5-7) However, Ella has strong faith  in Jehovah.   She has learned to put her trust in  him.  As a result, God is more real to her than before. She explains: "Every time I entered the interrogation room, I felt peace come over me. . . .The more terrifying the situation, the deeper the peace became."  Jehovah was the source of that peace.  The apostle Paul explains:  "Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6, 7. 

Ella, who has since been released, maintained her joy despite hardship. She did this, not in her own strength, but in the strength that Jehovah had provided her.  The same was  true of the apostle Paul, who wrote:  "Most gladly, therefore, will I rather boast as respects my weaknesses, that in the power of the Christ may like a tent remain over me. . . .For when I am weak, then I am powerful." -2 Corinthians 12:9, 10.

The pressures you personally face  today may be somewhat different from those we have here considered. Still, whatever form they take, pressures are difficult to cope with. For example, your employer may be very critical of your work-far more so than of the work of employees who belong to other religious faiths. It may not be possible for you to look for other employment.  How might you  maintain your joy?  Recall Adolf and his companions, who prison experience  taught them to develop vital qualities. If you make  a sincere effort to satisfy your employer-even one who is "hard to please"-you will develop such Christian qualities as endurance and long-suffering.  (1 Peter 2:18) Furthermore, you may well become more valuable as an employee, which may increase your chances of obtaining more satisfying employment some day.  Let us now discuss some other ways in which we can maintain our joy in Jehovah's service. 

Next time: Simplifying Leads to Joy

The Watchtower, 2001

Keep a Positive Spirit

Jesus encourages his followers to keep a positive spirit when they meet with various trials.  He says:  "Happy are you when people reproach you and persecute you and lyingly say every sort of wicked thing against you for my sake." (Matthew 5:11)  What reason do we have for happiness under such circumstances?  Our ability to withstand opposition is proof that Jehovah's  spirit is upon us.  The apostle Peter told fellow Christians in his day: "If you are being reproached for the name of Christ, you are happy, because the spirit of glory, even the spirit of God, is resting upon you."  (1 Peter 4:13, 14) By means of his spirit, Jehovah will also help us to endure and, as a result, to maintain our joy.

Even when we are in the direst of circumstances, we can find reasons to rejoice.  A Christian named Adolf found tha to be so.  He lives in a country where the work of Jehovah's Witnesses was banned for many years. Adolf and several of his companions were arrested and sentenced to serve long prison terms because they refused to renounce their Bible-based beliefs.  Prison was hard, but like Paul and Silas, Adolf and his companions found reasons to give thanks to God.  Their prison experience, they noted, helped them to strengthen their faith and to develop valuable Christian qualities, such as generosity, empathy and brother affection.  For example, when a prisoner received a package from home, he shared its contents with fellow believers, who viewed these extra provisions  as coming from Jehovah, the ultimate present."  Such acts of kindness brought joy both to the giver and to the recipients.  So the very experience that was intended to break their faith  actually made them stronger spiritually! -James 1:17; Acts 20:35.

Ella, who also lives in a country where the Kingdom work was long banned, was arrested for sharing her Christian hope with others.  For eight months, she was subjected to relentless interrogation.  When finally brought to trial, she was handed a ten year sentence in a prison where there were not other worshipers of Jehovah. Ella was only 24 years of age at the time. 

Next time: Conclusion of Keep a Positive Spirit

The Watchtower, 2001

"Rejoice in the Hope"

The apostle Paul encouraged fellow believers in Rome to "rejoice in the hope"  of everlasting life.  (Romans 12:12) That was timely advice for the Romans.  Less than a decade after Paul wrote to them, they came under severe persecution, and some were tortured to death by order of the Emperor Nero.  Their faith that God would give them the promised crown of life undoubtedly sustained them in their suffering.  What of us today?

As Christians, we too expect to be persecuted.  (2 Timothy 3:12) Further, we realize that "time and unforseen occurrence" befall us all.  (Ecclesiastes 9:11) An accident can take the life of someone we love. A fatal illness can strike down a parent or a close friend.  Unless we keep our Kingdom hope clearly in focus, we may be endangered spiritually when such trials occur. Accordingly, we do well to ask ourselvs. 'Do I "rejoice in the hope"?  How often do I take the time to meditate on it?  Is the coming Paradise real to me?  Do I see myself there? Am I as eager for the end of the present system of things to come as I was when I first learned the truth?  This last question deserves serious thought.  Why? Because if we are in good health, earn a comfortable living, and live in a part of the earth taht is more or less unaffected  by war, food shortages, or natural disasters, we could-at least for the moment-lose sight of the pressing need for God's new world to come.

Paul further counseled the Romans to "endure under tribulation."  (Romans 12:12 Paul was no stranger to tribulation.  Once, he saw in a vision a man who invited him to "step over into Macedonia"  to help people there to learn about Jehovah.  (Acts 16:9)  At that, Paul together with Luke, Silas and Timothy, set sail for Europe.  What awaited those zealous missionaries? Tribulation! After they had preached in the Macedonian city of Philippi, Paul and Silas were flogged and thrown into prison.  Clearly, some citizens of Philippi were not merely indifferent to the Kingdom message-they were bitterly opposed.  Did this turn of events cause the zealous missionaries to lose their joy?  No. After thay had been beaten and thrown into prison,m "about the middle of the night, Paul and Silas were praying and praising God with song."  (Acts 16:25, 26) Of coursek, the pain from the beating gave Paul and Silas no joy, but that is not what the two missionaries focused  on.  Their ways in which he was blessing them.  By joyfully 'enduring under tribulation.'  Paul and Silas served as fine examples for their brothers in Philippi and elsewhere.

 Paul wrote: "Persevere in prayer."  (Romans 12:12) Do you pray when you have anxious moments? What do you pray about?    Likely you mention your specific problem and ask for Jehovah's help.  But you can also include expression of thanksgiving for the blessings you enjoy.  When problems arise , reflecting on Jehovah's goodness in his dealings with us helps us to "rejoice in the hope."  David, whose life was far from trouble free, wrote:  "Many things you yourself have done, O Jehovah my God, even your wonderful works and your thoughts toward us; there is none to be compared to you. Were I inclined to tell and speak of them, they have become more numerous than I can recount."  (Psalm 40:5) If, like David, we regularly meditate on the blessings that we receive from Jehovah, we will find it impossible not to be joyful.

Next time: Keep a Positive Spirit

The Watchtower,

MAINTAIN YOUR JOY IN JEHOVAH'S SERVICE

"Always rejoice in the Lord.  Once more I will say, Rejoice!" -Philippians 4:4


JAMES, a 70 year old Christian living in Sierra Leone, hade worked hard all his life.  Imagine his joy when he had finally saved up enough money  to purchase a modest four-room house!  Some time after James and his family moved in, however, civil war broke out in that country, and their home was burned to the ground.  They lost their house, but they did not lose their joy.  Why not? 

James and his family kept their minds focused, not on what they had lost, but on what yet remained.  James explains:  "Evn during the time of horror, we held meetings, read the Bible, prayed together, and shared what little we had with others.  We were able to maintain our joy because we focused on the wonderfuul relationship we had with Jehovah."  By counting their blessings, the greates of which is having a close personal relationship with Jehovah, these faithful Christians were  able to "continue to rejoice."  (2 Corinthians 13:11)  Of course, their distressing circumstances were not easy to endurel.  But they did not cease to rejoice in Jehovah.

The early Christians encountered trials comparable to those experienced by James and his family.  Yet, the apostle Paul wrote these words  to Hebrew Christians: "[You} joyfully took the plundering of your belongings." Paul then explained the source of their joy:  "Knowing you yoursleves have a better and abiding possession."  (Hebrews 10:34)  Yet, those first-century Christians had a powerful hope.  They confidently looked forward to receiving something taht could not be plundered-the unfadable "crown of life" in God's heavenly Kingdom.  (Revelation 2:10)  Today, oru Christian hope-be it heavenly or earthly-can help us to maintain our joy even when we face adversities.

Next time: "Rejoice in the Hope"

The Watchtower, 2001

Look at Your Congregation

The closer you look at fellow believers, the more you will learn to appreciate them and find joy in their association.  Look at your congregation.  What do you see? Is there a single parent struggling to raise her children in the way of truth?  Have you given much thought to the fine example she sets?  Try to imagine some of the problems that she faces.  A single mother named Jeanine mentions some of these: loneliness, unwanted advances from men at work, a severely restricted budget.  But the greatest hurdles of all, she says, involves caring for her children's emotional needs, since each child  is unique.  Jeanine brings up another problem:  "It can be a real challenge to reject the tendency to make your son the head of the household to make your son the head of the household so as to make up for the absence of a husband.  I have a daughter, and it is hard to remember not to overburden her by making her my confidante."  Like thousands of God-fearing single parents, Jeanine works full-time and cares for her household.  She also studies the Bible with her children, train them in the ministry, and brings them to congregation meetings.  (Ephesians 6:4)  How happy Jehovah must be as he daily observes this family's efforts to maintain integrity!  Does it not bring joy to our hearts to have such ones in our midst?  Yes, indeed.

Look again at your congregation.  You may see faithful widows or widowers who are "never missing" from meetings.  (Luke 2:37)  Do they get lonely at times?  Of course.  They sorely miss their mates!   But they keep busy in Jehovah's service and take a personal interest in others.  Their stable, positive attitude adds to the joy of the congregation!  A Christian who has served in the full-time ministry for more than 30 years remarked: "One of my greatest joys is  seeing older brothers and sisters who have come through many trials still serving Jehovah faithfully!"  Yes, older Christians among us are a great encouragement to younger ones.

What of the new ones who have only recently begun to associate with the congregation?  Are we not stimulated when they express their faith at the meetings?  Think of the progress they have made since they began studying the Bible.  Jehovah must be very pleased with them.  Are we? Do we express our approval, commending them for their effort?

Are you married, single, or a single parent? Are you a fatherless (or motherless) boy or girl, a widow or a widower? Are you one who has been associated with the congregation for many years or one who only recently started to associate?  Be assured that your faithful example is encouraging to all of us. And when you join in singing a Kingdom song, when you make a comment or handle a student assignment in the Theocratic Ministry School, your contribution adds to our joy.  Better still, it brings joy to Jehovah's heart.

Yes, even in these troublesome times, we can be joyful in worshiping our happy God.  We have many reasons to respond to Paul's encouragement:  "Continue to rejoice, . . .and the God of love and of peace will be with you."  (2 Corinthians 13:11) What, though,m if we are confronted  by a natural disaster, persecution, or severe economic hardship?   Is it possible to maintain our joy even in such situations?  Draw your own conclusions as  you consider the following article.

Next time:  MAINTAIN YOUR JOY IN JEHOVAH'S SERVICE

The Watchtower, 2001

Fellow Believers Will Support You

When pressures mount or when life deals you a crushing blow, where can you turn for comfort?  Millions of Jehovah's dedicated servants turn first to Jehovah in prayer, then to their Christian brothers and sisters.  While on earth, Jesus himself valued the support of his disciples.  On the night before his death,  he spoke of them as "the ones that have stuck with me in my trials."  (Luke 22:28) Of course, those disciples were imperfect,  but their loyalty was a comfort to the Son of God.  We too can draw strength from fellow worshipers.

A Christian couple named Michael and Diane learned out valuable the support of their brothers and sisters can be.  Their 20 year old son, Jonathan, a Christian full of life and promise, was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  The doctors valiantly tried to save him, but Jonathan's physical condition worsened until late one afternoon, he fell asleep in death.  Michael and Diane were devastated.  They realized that the Service Meeting, scheduled for that evening was almost over.  Still, desperately needing comfort, they asked the elder who was with them to accompany them  to the Kingdom Hall.  They arrived just as their congregation was being informed of Jonathan's death. After the  meeting, the tearful parents were surrounded by their brothers and sisters, who hugged them and offered words of comfort.  Recalls Diane:  "We felt empty when we arrived at the hall, but what comfort we received from the brothers-how they uplifted us!  Although they could not take away our pain, they helped us to bear up under the pressure!"  -Romans 1:11, 12; 1 Corinthians 12:21-26.

Adversity caused Michael and Diane to draw closer to their brothers.  It also caused them to draw closer to each other.  Says Michael:  "I have learned to cherish my dear wife even more.  In moments of discouragement, we talk to each other about Bible truth and how Jehovah is sustaining us."  Diane adds:  "The Kingdom hope means even more to us now."

Yes, our Christians brothers and sisters can serve as "a strengthening aid" to us during life's difficult moments and thus help us to preserve our joy.  (Colossians 4:11) Of course, they cannot read our minds.  When we need support, therefore, it is good to let them know.  Then we can express genuine appreciation for whatever comfort our brothers are able to provide, viewing it as coming from Jehovah. -Proverbs 12:25; 17:17l.


Next time: Look at Your Congregation

The Watchtower, 2001

Maintain a Positive View of the Ministry

Jehovah wants us to be joyful in his service.  Our joy should not be contingent on the results that we obtain.  (Luke 10:17, 20) The prophet Jeremiah preached for years in unproductive territory.  When he focused on the negative reaction of the people, he lost his joy.  (Jeremiah  20:8) But when he meditated on the beauty of the message itself, his joy was rekindled.  Jeremiah said to Jehovah:  "Your words were found, and I proceeded to eat them; and your word becomes to me the exultation and the rejoicing of my heart; for your name has been called upon me, O Jehovah."  (Jeremiah 15:16) Yes, Jeremiah rejoiced in is privilege of preaching God's word.  We can too.

Even if the majority refuse to respond to the good news, we have every reason to be joyful as we engage in the field of ministry. Remember that Jehovah was clearly confident that some humans would be moved to serve him.  Like Jehovah, we should never give up hope that at least some will eventually see the issue and accept the Kingdom message. We must not forget that people's circumstances change.  when faced with some unexpected loss or crisis, even the most self-satisfied individual may begin thinking seriously about the meaning of life.  Will you be there to help  when such a person bec0omes 'conscious of his spiritual need'? (Matthew 5:3) Why, someone in your territory may be ready to listen to the good news the very next time you call!

The makeup of our territory can also change. Consider an example.  In a small town, there lived a close knit group of young married couples with children. When Jehovah's Witnesses called, they met with the same response at every door, "We are not interested!"  If someone did show interest in the Kingdom message, the neighbors lost no time in discouraging further contact with the Witnesses.  Needless to say, it was a challenge to preach there.  Nevertheless, the Witnesses did not give up, they kept right on preaching.  With what result?

In time, many of the children in that town grew up, got married,and settled down there. Realizing that their way of life had not resulted  in genuine happiness, some of these young adults began searching for the truth.  They also found it when they responded  favorably to the good news proclaimed by the Witnesses.  So it was that after many years, the little congregation began to grow.  Imagine the joy of the Kingdom publishers who did not give up!  May persistence in sharing the glorious Kingdom message bring joy to us too!

Next time: Fellow Believers Will Support You

The Watchtower, 2001

They Have Never Lost Their Joy

In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve enjoyed radiant health and had perfect minds.  They had productive work to do and ideal surroundings in which to do it. Best of all, they had the privilege of regularly communicating with Jehovah.  It was God's purpose that they enjoy a happy future.  But our first parents were not satisfied with all these good gifts;  they stole the forbidden fruit from "the tree of  the knowledge of good and bad."  This disobedient act laid the groundwork for all the unhappiness that we, their descendants,  are experiencing today. -Genesis 2:15-17; 3:6; Romans 5:12.

However, Jehovah did not allow the ungrateful attitude of Adam and Eve to robe him of his joy.  He was confident that the hearts of their offspring would be moved to serve him.  He was so confident, in fact, that even before Adam and Eve produced their first child, he announced his purpose  to redeem their obedient descendants!  (Genesis 1:31; 3:15) In the centuries that followed, the majority  of mankind walked in the footsteps of Adam and Eve, but Jehovah did not turn his back on the human family because of such widespread disobedience.  Rather, he centered his attention on the men and women who 'made his heart rejoice,' those who made the real effort to please him because they loved him. -Proverbs 27:11; Hebrews 6:10.

What about Jesus-how did he maintain his joy?  As a mighty spirit creature in heaven, Jesus had every opportunity to observe the activities of men and women on earth.  Their imperfections were obvious, yet Jesus loved them.  (Proverbs 8:31) Later, when he came to earth and actually "resided among" humans, his view of mankind did not change.  (John 1:14)  What enabled the perfect Son of God to maintain such a positive view of the sinful family?

First of all, Jesus was reasonable in his expectations both of himself and of others.  He knew that he was not going to convert the world.  (Matthew 10:32-39) So he rejoiced even when one sincere person responded favorably to the Kingdom message. Although the conduct and attitude of his disciples sometimes left much to be desired, Jesus knew that  at heart they really wanted to do God's will, and he loved them on that account.  (Luke 9:46; 22:24, 28-32, 60-62) Significantly, in prayer to his heavenly Father, Jesus summarized the positive course that his disciples had taken up to that point:  "They have observed your word." -John 17:6

Without a doubt, all of us would benefit from reflecting on the example set by Jehovah God and Christ Jesus in this respect.  Can we more fully imitate Jehovah perhaps by not becoming overly concerned when things do not work out just as we had hoped?  Can we follow  more closely in Jesus' footsteps by maintaining a positive viewpoint toward our present circumstances, as well as by being reasonable in what we expect of ourselves and others?  Let us see how some of these principles might be applied in a practical way in an area that is dear to the hearts of zealous Christians everywhere-the field of ministry.

Next time: Maintain a Positive View of the Ministry

The Watchtower, 2001

BE JOYFUL WITH THE HAPPY GOD

"Finally, brothers, continue to rejoice, . . .and the God of love and of peace  will be with you." -2 Corinthians 13:11.


IN THESE dark days, many people see little cause for rejoicing.  When tragedy strikes them or someone they love, they may feel like ancient Job, who said:  "Man, born of woman, is short-lived and glutted with agitation."  (Job 14:1) Christians are not immune  to the stresses and strains of these "critical times hard to deal with," and it is not surprising that faithful servants of Jehovah sometimes become discouraged. -2 Timothy 3:1.

Still, Christians be joyful, even when under trial.  (Acts 5:40, 41)  To understand how this is possible, consider first what joy is.  Joy has been defined as "the emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good."

Consequently, if we take the time to count our present blessings while meditating on the joys that await us in God's new world, we can be joyful.

Everyone has some blessings for which to be grateful.  A family head may lose his job. Naturally, he is concerned.  He wants to provide his loved ones.  Still, if he is physically strong and in good health, he can be grateful for that.  If he finds employment, he will be able to work hard. On the other hand, a Christian woman may have been stricken with a debilitating illness.  Yet, she may give thanks for the support of loving friends and family members who help her face her illness with dignity and courage. And all true Christians regardless of their circumstances, can rejoice in the privilege of knowing Jehovah, "the happy God," and Jesus Christ,  "the happy and only Potentate."  (1 Timothy 1:11; 6:15) Yes, Jehovah God and Jesus Christ are supremely happy.  They have maintained their joy despite the fact that conditions on earth are far different from what Jehovah intended in the beginning.  Their example can teach us much about how to maintain our joy.

Next time: They Have Never Lost Their Joy

The Watchtower, 2001

Permanent Comfort From Earth's New King

The one whom aged Anna rejoiced to see some two thousand years ago has now become the Messianic King of God's heavenly Kingdom.  This government will soon eliminate all causes for sorrow, including death.  In this regard, Revelation 21:3, 4 says:  "Look! the tent of God is with mankind . . . And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore.  The former things have passed away."   Did you notice that this passage refers to "mankind"?  Yes, humans will be liberated from death and all the mourning and outcry it brings.

But there is even more good news!  The Bible also promises a resurrection for the dead.  "The hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his [Jesus'] voice and come out."  (John 5:28, 29)  Just like Lazarus, whom Jesus raised from the dead, hey will come out as humans, not spirit creatures.  (John 11:43, 44)  (no, they won't be eating and killing anyone like the movies!) Those who thereafter 'do good things' will be brought to human perfection and personally experience Jehovah's fatherly care as he  'opens his and and satisfies the desire of every living thing.' -Psalm 145:16.

Those who have lost a loved one is death and who put faith in this sure hope find it a source of great comfort.  (1 Thessalonians 4:13)  So if you are a widow, be sure to "pray incessantly" for the comfort and help you need daily to carry your various burdens.  (1 Thessalonians 5:17; 1 Peter 5:7)  And take the time each day to read God's Word so that God's thoughts can comfort you.  If you do these things, you will see for yourself how, in spite of all the trials and challenges, you face as a widow, Jehovah can truly help you to find peace.

Next time: BE JOYFUL WITH THE HAPPY GOD

The Watchtower, 2001

Great Works Through Fellow Christians

Elaine states:  "For a long time after David's death, I had a physical pain, like a knife turning in my rib cage.  I thought it was indigestion.  One day it became so bad that I thought I would have to see a doctor. A discerning spiritual sister and friend suggested that my grief might be a factor and encouraged me to ask Jehovah for help and comfort.  I took her advice right then and there and offered a silent but heartfelt prayer, asking that Jehovah sustain me in my grief. And he did!"  Elaine began to feel better, and soon thereafter even her physical pain went away.

Congregation elders can especially offer friendship in a kindly way to grieving widows.  By providing regular spiritual support and comfort in a tactful and discerning way, elders can help them to stay close to Jehovah despite their trials.  Where necessary, elders can also help in arranging for material support.  Such compassionate, discerning elders truly become "a hiding place from the wind." -Isaiah 32:2; acts 6:1-3.

Next time: Permanent Comfort From Earth's New King

The Watchtower, 2001

Draw Close to God

Family members and friends cannot, of course, fill the void left by the death of a mate.  For this reason it is important for the bereaved person to draw especially close to God to "the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation."  (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4)  Consider the example of Anna, a devout widow who was 84 years old at the time of Jesus' birth.

When Anna's husband died after they had been married just seven years, she turned to Jehovah for comfort. "[She] was never missing from the temple, rendering sacred service night and day with fastings and supplications."  (Luke 2:36, 37) Did Jehovah respond to Anna's godly devotion?  Yes! He showed his love for her in a very special way by allowing her to see the baby who would grow up to be the Savior of the world.  How this thrilled and comforted Anna!  Clearly, she experienced the truth of Psalm 37:4:  "Take exquisite delight in Jehovah, and he will give you the requests of your heart."

Next time: God Works Through Fellow Christians

The Watchtower, 2001

Support From the Family

A warm, loving family,if there is one, can do much to reassure a widow that she will be able to cope.  Although some family members may be able to offer more help  than others, all can contribute.  "If any widow has children or grandchildren, let these learn first to practice godly devotion  in their own household and to keep paying a due compensation to their parents and grandparents, for this is acceptable in God's sight." -1 Timothy 5:4.

In many cases, financial support or "compensation" may be unnecessary.  Some widows have sufficient funds to care for their needs, and others qualify for state benefits, which are available in some lands.  But where widows are in need, family members ought  to help.  If a widow has no close relatives to offer support or such relatives are unable to help, the Scriptures encourage fellow believers to come to her aid:   "The form of worship that is clean and undefiled from the standpoint of our God and Father is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their tribulation." -James 1:27.

Those who act on these Bible principles truly "honor widows."  (1 Timothy 5:3)  To honor a person means, in effect, to demonstrate respect for that one.  People who are shown honor feel valued, cherished, dignified.  They do not feel  that others are helping purely out of a sense of duty.  Ruth, although herself a widow for awhile, truly honored Naomi by willingly and lovingly made sure that Naomi's physical and emotional needs were cared for. In fact, Ruth's attitude quickly  earned her a fine reputation, so that her future husband said to her:  "Everyone in  the city of my people is aware that you are an excellent  woman."  (Ruth 3:11) At the same time, Naomi's love for God, her undemanding nature, and her deep appreciation  for Ruth's efforts in her behalf no doubt made it a pleasure for Ruth to assist her.  What a fine example Naomi is to widows today!

Next time: Draw Close to God

The Watchtower, 2001

Specific but Not Overbearing

When offering help to a widow, it is best to be clear and specific but not overbearing. Avoid vague comments such as, "Let me know if you need anything."  That could amount to saying,"Keep warm and well fed" to someone who  is cold and hungry and then doing nothing to help.  (James 2:16) Many people will not ask for assistance when they need something; instead, they suffer in silence. To help such ones takes discernment, perceiving what their needs are.  On the other hand, taking too much initiative-essentially taking over the widow's life-might lead to hurt feelings or conflict.  Hence, the Bible stresses the need for balance in our dealings with the others.  While encouraging us to take and unselfish  personal interest in people, it reminds us not to be  busybodies. -Philippians 2:4; 1 Peter 4:15.

Ruth displayed such a balanced attitude toward Naomi.  While sticking loyally to her mother-in-law, Ruth did not push or dominate her.  She took sensible initiatives, such as obtaining food for Naomi and herself, but she also followed Naomi's instructions. -Ruth 2:2, 22, 23; 3"1-6.

Of course, what is needed may differ greatly from one person to another. Sandra mentioned earlier, says:  "I had what I needed in my distress-very dear and loving friends who flocked around me."  Elaine, mentioned earlier, on the other hand, needed time to herself. Being helpful, therefore, means being discerning and striking a balance  between respecting another's privacy and being available to help when needed.

Next time: Support From the Family

The Watchtower,2001

HELPING WIDOWS Through Their Trials

ONE of the best known stories about widows is the Bible account of Ruth and her mother-in-law, Naomi.  Both women were widows. Naomi, however, lost not only her husband but also her two sons, one of whom had been Ruth's husband.  Because they lived in an agricultural society that depended much on its menfolk, their situation was indeed tragic. -Ruth 1:1-5, 20, 21.

However, Naomi had an outstanding friend and comforter in her daughter-in-law Ruth, who refuse to leave her side.  In time, Ruth proved to be "better to [Naomi] than seven sons" not only because of her deep love for God.  (Ruth 4:15) When Naomi recommended that Ruth return to her Moabite family and friends, Ruth replied with one of the most touching expressions of loyalty ever recorded:  "Where you go I shall go, and where you spend the night I shall spend the night.  Your people will be my people, and your God my God.  Where you die, I shall die, and there is where I shall be buried.  May Jehovah do so tome and add to it if anything but death should make a separation between me and you." -Ruth 1:16, 17.

Ruth's attitude did not escape Jehovah God's notice.  He blessed the little household of Naomi and Ruth, and eventually Ruth married the Israelite Boaz.  Their child, who became an ancestor of Jesus Christ, was cared for by Naomi as thought it were her own.  This history is an example of how Jehovah cherishes widows who draw close  to him and trust in him.  Further, the Bible tells us that he values those who lovingly help widows in their trials.  So how can we today support the widows in our midst? -Ruth 4:13, 16-22; Psalm 68:5.

Next time: Specific but Not Overbearing

The Watchtower, 2001

HOW WIDOWHOOD AFFECTED TWO WOMEN

SANDRA is a widow who lives in Australia.  When her husband died some years ago, Sandra's immediate reaction was total shock.  "The realization that I had suddenly lost my mate and best friend overwhelmed me.  I really cannot remember how I made it back home from the hospital or what I did for the next few weeks, my fears turned into constant physical pain."

Sandra has an older friend, Elaine, who has been a widow for some six  years.  Elaine nursed her husband, David, for six months prior to his death from cancer.  Her grief was so intense that not long after her husband's death, she experienced  temporary blindness.  Two years later she collapsed in public.  Her doctor found no signs of physical illness.  However, he discovered that Elaine had been keeping her grief bottled up, so he recommended that she go home and try hard to cry.  "It took quite a while to work through my grief,"  Elaine admits, adding that wen lonely,  "I even used to go into the bedroom and bury my head in David's clothes."

Yes, the death of a beloved mate can cause a variety of reactions, for widowhood really involves more than simply living without a husband.  Sandra, for instance, felt for a time that she had lost her identity.  Like many other recently bereaved widows, she also felt vulnerable, insecure.  Sandra recalls:  "Being used to having my husband make final decisions, I was suddenly left alone to make those decisions.  My sleep was disrupted. I was tired, and fatigued.  It was hard to know just what to do."

Stories similar to Sandra's and Elaine's are repeated on a daily basis the world over.  Sickness, accidents, wars, ethnic cleansing,and violence in general are contributing to an increasing number of widows.   Many of these women suffer in silence, not knowing what to do.  What can friends and relatives do to assist those adjusting to widowhood?  The following article has some suggestions that may prove helpful.

Next time: HELPING WIDOWS Through Their Trials

The Watchtower, 2001

Commendation is Powerful

In today's ungrateful world, we all need to feel appreciated and loved.  When we sincerely commend others, we strengthen and uplift them.  Our heartfelt praise prompts them to keep on doing their best. -Proverbs 31:28, 29.

The Bible urges all Christians:  "Let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works."  (Hebrews 10:24) The world would be  a different place if everyone showed personal interest in others, searched out their good qualities , and acknowledged their fine deeds.  Truly, commendation is powerful!

Next time: HOW WIDOWHOOD AFFECTED TWO WOMEN

The Watchtower, 2012

Acknowledge Fine Deeds

Jesus often noticed and acknowledged the fine deeds of others.  Once when a frightened sick woman discreetly touched his outer garment in order to be healed, Jesus commended her, saying:  "Daughter, your faith has made you well."  -Mark 5:34.

On another occasion, while Jesus was teaching in Jerusalem's temple, he saw many rich people dropping money into the treasury chests.  Then he saw a needy widow drop in "two small coins of very little value."  Others had donated more money than she.  Yet, Jesus publicly commended the widow's sincerity, by saying:  "I tell you truthfully, this widow, although poor, dropped in more than they all did.  For all these dropped out of their surplus, but this woman out of her want dropped in all the means of living she had." -Luke 21:1-4.

How can we imitate Jesus?  The Bible says:  "Do not hold back good from those  to whom it is owing, when it happens to be in the power of your hand to do it. -Proverbs 3:27.

Next time: Commendation is Powerful

The Watchtower, 2012

Look for the Good in Others

Because he is deeply interested in us, God notices and appreciates our fine qualities and deeds.  The Bible assures us: "[God's] eyes are roving about through all the earth to show his strength in behalf of those whose heart is complete toward him."   (2 Chronicles 16:9) When we show our love for God by obeying his laws, he  is sure to notice it.
                                                                                                                                                                                    
Jehovah God does not look for our faults.   if  he did, none of us could stand. (Psalm 130:3) Instead, Jehovah is like a miner who patiently sifts through piles of stones looking for precious gems.  When the miner finds a gem, he rejoices.  The rough stone may not look precious, but the miner sees its potential value. Similarly, when God searches our heart, he is looking for precious qualities, not faults.  When he finds them, he rejoices.  He knows that those qualities, when shaped and polished, can produce something truly valuable-a faithful and devoted worshiper of Jehovah.

We can learn from God's example.  When we look at others, we might be prone to focus on their faults.  Yet, if we look at people as Jehovah does, we will search  out their fine attributes. (Psalm 103:8-11, 17, 18) When we find their precious qualities, we can commend them.  With what result? Our words will surely refresh them, and they may try even harder to do what is right!  In turn, we will experience the joy that comes from giving to others. -Acts 20:35.

Next time: Acknowledge Fine Deeds

The Watchtower, 2012

Why Commend Others?

MANY people feel that their efforts go unnoticed by others.  For example, workers often feel unappreciated by their employers.  Many married people believe that their mates take them for granted.  And some children think that they can never meet the expectations of their parents.  Surely, such feelings could be alleviated if  we were all willing to commend one another from time to time. 

Sincere words of commendation are not the norm for today's world.  This is hardly surprising, for the Bible foretold: "In the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here.  For men will be lovers of themselves, . . .unthankful, disloyal." -2 Timothy 3:1, 2.

Have you been given sincere commendation? Then you know how it can warm the heart and lift the spirit. "A word at its right time is O how good!" Says the Bible.  (Proverbs 15:23) The Holy Scriptures can help us to treat one another with kindness.

Next time: Look for the Good in Others

The Watchtower, 2012

RAISED BY TWO STEPPARENTS

Yuki, aged 20, has not seen his father since he was five years old.  His mother later married Tomonori, but she died when Yuki was ten years old.  Five years later, after his stepfather Tomonori married Mihoko, Yuki found himself living with two stepparents.

Yuki: When my stepfather decided to remarry, I though, "I don't need a stepmother.  I've already had enough changes in my family."  I refused to accept the situation and treated her coldly.

Mihoko:  Even though my husband did not pressure me to love his stepson as he did, I resolve to try to build a relationship with Yuki.  We did our best to maintain his routine, including spiritual activities, recreation, and a meal each evening with conversation afterward.  I also understood him much  better after we talked ab0ut his losing his mother in death.

When I became pregnant, we were concerned about Yuki and wanted him to feel secure about his place in the family. We had Yuki feed and bathe the baby and change his diaper, and we commended Yuki in front of others for his help.  Little Itsuki is quite attached  to Yuki.  Before he learned the words for "papa" or "mom," he knew how to say niinii-big brother.

Yuki: As a stepchild,it is natural to feel alone and left out.  You can try to explain your situation to others, but they can't seem to understand. I am happy to say, though,that fellow Christians have been a true support. Now the wariness I felt toward my stepmother is gone.  She gives me good advice and I can speak to her from my heart.  

Next time:Why Commend Others?

The Watchtower, 2012

"COMMENDATION FIRST"

Francis married Cecelia four years ago.  Their household includes her three adult children and his teenage son.


Francis: I try to be approachable and to avoid taking offense easily. We regularly share meals together and use this time for family discussions.  I also encourage everyone to care for some household chores, since these benefit the entire family.

Cecelia: I spend time with each of our children and listen to their fears and frustrations.  In our family meetings, we try to give commendation first and then encouragement for improvement. And when I make mistakes, I acknowledge these and  make a sincere apology.

Next time: RAISED BY TWO STEPPARENTS

The Watchtower, 2012

STEP FAMILY SUCCESS PROFILES

"UNITY IS MORE IMPORTANT"

  Anton and Marelize each brought three children into their step family when they married six years ago.

Anton:  We do things like camping trips as a family, and we spend time with each child individually.  It took us a few years to really settle in, but most of our family issues are sorted out now.

Marelize:  We feel that it is important to view the children as "ours," not yours and mine." I remember once making a fuss when I felt that Anton unfairly disciplined one of my boys and gave his daughter the preferred seat in the car.  I learned that family unity is more important than sitting in the front seat.  We try to be fair even though we cannot treat everyone exactly the same.

I also avoid talking about exciting times from our previous family, since those who weren't there will feel like outsiders.   Instead, I express gratitude for the family we have now.

Next time: "COMMENDATION FIRST"

The Watchtower, 2012

UNIQUE CHALLENGES OF STEP FAMILIES

Challenge 4: DISCIPLINE OF CHILDREN

"When I try to discipline Carmen's children, she consoles them instead of supporting me." -Pablo.

"I feel cut to the heart when Pablo treats my children harshly." -Carmen.

WHY might childbearing cause conflict in a step family? Discipline may have become lax in a single-parent family.  When a step parent joins the family, the emotional attachment to the children may not be fully formed.  The result? The step parent may think the parent is too soft on the children,, while the biological parent thinks the step parent is too hard on them.

The Bible recommends balance in rearing children:  "Do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental regulating of Jehovah  [God]."  (Ephesians 6:4) The focus here is on training your child's thinking rather than on merely controlling his behavior. At the same time, parents are encouraged to be kind and loving so that their disciple does not become a source of irritation.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

*Establish house rules, starting with those you  already have.  Consider the benefit of such rules in he following scenario:

  Step mother: Jennifer, the house rule is no texting until your homework is finished.

   Jennifer: You're not my mother.

   Step mother: That's right Jen, but I am the parent in charge tonight, and the rule is not texting until your homework is finished.

* Avoid creating many rules or changing routines too quickly.  What seems like a simple request to a step parent can be  burden to a child who feels that his entire world has already been turned upside down.  Of course, some new rules may be essential, such as a household privacy policy and a dress code, especially if here are older children in the step family.

* Discuss disagreements in private, not in front of the children.  Focus on the child's  specific behavior rather than on some suppose law flaw in earlier training.

STEP FAMILY SUCCESS PROFILES- NO LONGER JUST HOUSEMATES

Philip's 20 year old daughter, Elise, was living at home and had taken on many household duties. After Philip married Louise, could step mother and step daughter build a good relationship?


Louise:  We had a very hard time at first.  I am quite a homebody and wanted to ensure that I was the housewife.

Elise:  Louise reorganized the house and threw out a lot of our stuff.  I tidied up once but put some things in the wrong place, since i didn't know where they went anymore.  This upset Louise, she ad I said some angry words, and I couldn't speak to her for a week.

Louise:  At one point, I told Elise,  "I don't know where we go from here, but I can't live in this atmosphere."  She came to me later that evening and apologized.  I gave her a hug, and we both cried.

Elise:  Louise left some pictures of mine hanging on the wall, and Dad did not remove the lights that I put in the living room.  It may sound petty, but their leaving these things really helped me to feel that my home has not completely disappeared.  I am also grateful for the way Louise looks after my little brother when he's with us.  It's been two years now, and I am starting to think of her as a real member of the family.

Louise:  I feel that rather than being just housemates, Elise and I are now also good friends.

Next time:  STEP FAMILY SUCCESS PROFILES-UNITY IS MORE IMPORTANT

The Watchtower, 2012

THE UNIQUE CHALLENGES OF STEP FAMILY

Challenge 3: HOW TO BRING "OUTSIDERS" IN

The fear of being an outsider in your own family can be at the root of seemingly unrelated problems.  For example:

* Children who got along fine with a prospective stepparent before the marriage tend to struggle afterward.

*  A stepparent feels jealous of a six-year-old child.

* Big  arguments erupt about apparently trivial household matters.

This issue affect biological parents too, since they can feel pressured if the step family appears to be coming apart at the seams. As Carmen put it, "Being stuck in the middle between my husband and  my two children is very hard."

The Golden Rule provides the key to meeting this challenge. Jesus said: "All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them."  (Matthew 7:12) How can step families  bring everyone inside without pushing any one out? 

WHAT YOU CAN DO

*Put your marriage first.   (Genesis 2:24) Spend time with your new spouse, and make his or her status in the family clear to your children.  For instance, fathers could say something like this to their children even before they remarry:  "I love Anna, and she will be my wife. I know you will be polite to her."

*Schedule time alone with each of your children. Setting aside a specific time shows how important they are to you and will reassure them of your love.

*Spend time alone with each stepchild so you can build your relationship without the parent serving as a referee.

*Allow children to "join" the family without renouncing their previous family.  It usually best not to require step children to use terms of endearment such as "Mom" or "Dad." Older children may at first be uncomfortable using words like "family" or "We" for the step family.

Give each child household chores, a seat at the table, and a space of their own in the home.  This includes those who stay with you only part-time.

Consider either moving into a new residence or adjusting the existing home, so that new members do not feel like intruders.

Next time: Challenge 4: DISCIPLINE OF CHILDREN

The Watchtower, 2012

THE UNIQUE CHALLENGES OF STEP FAMILIES

Challenge 2: HOW TO UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER

Like Yoshito and Tatsuki.  step family members may not really understand each other.  Why is this significant?  As problems arise, you may want to act quickly to solve them.  But to act effectively; you must first understand your family.

It is important to consider how you communicate, since speech can tear down as well as build up.  As the Bible says:  "Death and life are in the power of the tongue."  (Proverbs 18:21)  How can you use your tongue to build understanding rather than stifle it?

WHAT YOU CAN DO

* Be curious and empathetic about one another's feelings rather then judgmental.  For example:

If your son says, "I miss Dad," acknowledge his loss.  Instead of saying, "But your step dad loves you and is better to you than your father," try this: "It really  must be hard.  Tell me, what do you miss the most about your dad?"

Instead of accusing your new spouse by saying "Your son wouldn't be so rude  if you had been a better parent,"  share how you feel.  Try this: "Could you please remind Luke to say hello to me when he comes home? It would really help me."

*  Use time together for meals, recreation and worship to learn about one another.

*  Have regular family meetings with everyone present.  Allow each member to speak without interruptions, starting with something good about the new family, followed by a concern. Show respect even if you disagree, and let everyone offer a solution.

Next time: Challenge 3: HOW TO BRING "OUTSIDERS" IN

The Watchtower, 2012

Challenge 1: FAILED EXPECTATIONS

STEP FAMILY marriages often begin with high expectations.  Parents hope to avoid or to fix the mistakes made in a previous marriage and to find the love or security that has been missing. Some hopes maybe little more than fantasies, but any that go unfulfilled cause stress.  As the Bible says:  "An expectation that drags on and makes you sick at heart."  (Proverbs 13:12, Beck) What if unmet expectations are making you heartsick?

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Do not bottle up your feelings, hoping that the disappointment will go away.  Instead, identify an unmet expectation that frustrates you. Next, determine why you hope for this, so you can understand why you cling to it.  Finally, try to find a more realistic expectation for now.  Here are some examples:

1. From the start, I will love my stepchildren and they will love me.
  
   Why? I've always dreamed of being in a warm, close family.

   More realistic: In time, our love for one another can grow.  What matters now is that we can feel safe and respected  in our family.

 2.  Everyone in the new family will adjust quickly.
  
  Why? We're ready for a fresh start.

   More realistic:  Step families usually take between four and seven years to stabilize.  our issues are completely normal;.

3. We won't argue about money.

 Why?  Our love will help us to avoid petty disputes . 

 More realistic:  Financial issues related to our previous marriages are complex. We may not yet be ready to pool together all our money.

Next time: Challenge 2: HOW TO UNDERSTAND ONE Another

The Watchtower, 2012
     

THE UNIQUE CHALLENGES OF STEP FAMILIES

* According to step family expert Dr. Patricia Papernow, trying to address step family  issues using a first-time family as a model  is like "trying to navigate the streets of New York using a city map of Boston."

The fact is, step family challenges are not only unique but also greater than those faced by first-time families. In fact, psychologist William Merkel describes the step family as "the most complex, unnatural and difficult set of relationships known to humankind."

If it is that hard, how can a step family ever succeed? The relationships in a step family can be likened to the seams in a patchwork quilt.  Even though the seams are weak when the stitching begins, when completed they can be as strong as the original fabric-if they are sewn carefully.

Let us consider some common challenges that step families face and the steps that have helped many to "stitch" their lives together.  Then, we will meet four step families who have found success.

Next time: Challenge 1: FAILED EXPECTATIONS

The Watchtower, 2012

Joseph Persevered Faithfully

The Bible discloses only a few more traces of Joseph's life, but they are worth considering closely. We read that Jesus  "continued subject to them"-his parents.  We find also that  "Jesus went on progressing in wisdom and in physical growth and in favor with God and men."  (Luke 2:51, 52)  what do those words reveal about Joseph?  several things.  We learn that Joseph continued taking the lead in his household, for his perfect son  respected his father's authority and remained in subjection to it.

We also learn that Jesus continued to grow in wisdom.  Joseph surely had much to do with his son's progress in that regard.  In those days, there was a time-honored proverb among the Jews.  It asserted that only men of leisure could become truly wise, whereas tradesmen such as carpenters, farmers, and blacksmiths "cannot declare justice and judgment; and they shall not be found where parables are spoken."  Later, Jesus exposed the emptiness of that proverb. As a boy, how often he had heard his adoptive father, humble carpenter though he was, teach effectively about Jehovah's "justice and judgment"!  No doubt, on countless occasions. 

We may also see evidence of Joseph's influence in Jesus' physical growth.  A well-care-for boy, Jesus grew into a strong healthy man.  Further, Joseph trained his son to be skilled at his physical work.   Jesus was known not only as the carpenter's son but also as "the carpenter."  (Mark 6:3) So Joseph's training was successful. Family heads wisely imitate Joseph, caring for the peaceful well-being of their children and ensuring that they can support themselves.

Once we reach the point in the Bible record where Jesus is baptized at the age of 30, we find that Joseph is no longer part of the story.  The evidence suggests that Mary was a wisdom by the time Jesus began his ministry.  Yet,  Joseph left a clear mark-a sterling example of a father who protected his family, provided for them, and persevered faithfully to the end.  Any father, any family head, or any other Christian would do well to imitate the faith of Joseph.

Next time: THE UNIQUE CHALLENGES OF STEP FAMILIES

The Watchtower, 2012

"In Mental Distress"

When Jesus was 12 years old, Joseph took the family to Jerusalem as usual.  It was Passover, a festive time, and large families traveled together in long caravans through the lush spring countryside. As they approached the starker landscapes near lofty Jerusalem, many would sing the famous psalms of ascent.  (Psalms 120-134) The city may have teemed with hundreds  of thousands of people.  Afterward, the families and their caravans began to head homeward.  Joseph and Mary, perhaps with much to do, assumed that Jesus was traveling with others, maybe family members. Only after Jerusalem lay a full day behind them did they realize a terrifying truth-Jesus was missing! -Luke 2:41-44.

Frantically, they traced their steps all the way back to Jerusalem.  Imagine how empty and strange the city seemed to them now as they paced the streets, calling out their son's name. Where could the boy be?  By the third day of searching, did Joseph begin to wonder if he had failed terribly in this sacred trust from Jehovah?  Finally, they went to the temple.  They they searched until they came upon a chamber where many learned men, versed in the Law, were gathered-with young Jesus sitting among them! Imagine the relief Joseph and Mary felt! -Luke 2:45, 46.

Jesus was listening to the learned men and eagerly asking questions. The men were amazed at the child's understanding and his answers.  Mary and Joseph, though, were astounded.  In the record, Joseph is silent.  But Mary's words  speak eloquently for both of them:  "Child why did you treat us this way?  Here your father and I in mental distress have been looking for you." -Luke 2:47, 48.

Thus in a few deft strokes, God's Word paints a realistic picture of parenthood. It  can be stressful-even  when the child is perfect!  Parenting in today's dangerous world  can bring untold "mental distress," but fathers and mothers can take comfort in knowing that the Bible acknowledges the challenge they face.

Happily, Jesus had stayed in the one place in the world where he felt the closest to his heavenly Father, Jehovah, eagerly soaking up anything he could learn.  Thus, he answered his parents in a simply sincerity:  "Did you not know that I must be in the house of my Father?" -Luke 2:49.

Joseph surely thought those words over many times.  Perhaps he came to beam with pride over them.  After  all, he had worked diligently  to teach his adopted son to feel that way about Jehovah God.  By that time in his life as a boy, Jesus already had warm feelings about the word"father"-feelings shaped largely by his exposure to Joseph.

If you are a father, do you realize what a privilege you have to help your children to form a concept of what a loving, protective father is?  Likewise, if you have stepchildren or adopted children, remember Joseph's example and treat each one as unique and precious.  Help them to draw close to their heavenly Father, Jehovah God.

Next time: Joseph Persevered Faithfully

The Watchtower, 2012

Conclusion of Joseph Provided for His Family

Jesus learned, took, that those strong hands that felled trees, hewed beams, and pounded joints together were also gentle hands that caressed and comforted him, his mother, and his siblings.  Yes, Joseph and Mary had a growing family that eventually included at least six children in addition to Jesus.  (Matthew 13:55, 56) Joseph had to work ever harder to care for and feed them all.

Joseph, however, understood that caring for his family's spiritual needs was paramount.  So he spent time teaching his children about Jehovah God and His laws.  He and Mary regularly took them to the local synagogue, where the Law was read aloud and explained. Perhaps Jesus was full of questions afterward and Joseph tried hard to satisfy the boy's spiritual hunger.  Joseph also took his family to religious festivals in Jerusalem.  For the annual Passover, Joseph may have needed two weeks to make the journey of about 70 miles (112.56 km), observe the occasion, and then return.

Christians family heads today follow a similar pattern.  They give of themselves for their children, putting spiritual training above every other concern, including material comforts.  They go to great lengths to take their children to Christian meetings both large and small.  Like Joseph, they know that there is no better investment they can make for the sake of their children. 

Next time: "In Mental Distress"

The Watchtower, 2012

Joseph Provided for His Family

It seems that the family did not stay long in Egypt, for soon the angel informed Joseph that Herod was dead.  Joseph led his family back to their homeland.  An ancient prophecy had foretold that Jehovah would call his son "out of  Egypt."  (Matthew 2:15) Joseph helped to fulfill it, but where would he lead his family now?

Joseph was cautious.  He wisely feared Herod's successor, Archelaus, who was likewise vicious and murderous.  Divine guidance led Joseph to take his family up north, away from Jerusalem and all its intrigues, back to his hometown Nazareth in Galilee.  There he and Mary raised their family. -Matthew 2:19-23.

They led a simple life-but not and easy one.  The Bible refers to Joseph as the carpenter, using a word that embraces many ways of working with wood, such as cutting down timber, hauling it, and seasoning for use in building houses, boats and small  bridges, carts, wheels, yokes and all kinds of farm implements.  (Matthew 13:55)  It was hard physical work.  The carpenter in Bible times often worked near the doorway of his simple house or in a shop adjacent to it. .

Joseph used  a wide range of tools, some likely handed down from his father.  He may have used a square, a plummet, a chalk line, a hatchet, a saw, an adze, a hammer, a mallet, chisels, a drill he worked by pulling a bow back and forth, various glues, and perhaps some nails, though they were costly.  

Imagine Jesus as a small boy watching his adoptive father at work.  His eyes wide and intent on Joseph's every movement, he no doubt admired the strength in those broad shoulders and sinewy arms, the skill of the hands, the intelligence in the eyes.  Perhaps Joseph began showing his young son how to perform such tasks as smoothing rough spots on wood with dried fish skin.  He likely taught Jesus the differences between the varieties of wood that he used-the sycamore fig, oak or olive, for example

Next time: Conclusion of Joseph Provided for His Family

The Watchtower, 2012

Conclusion of Joseph Protected His Family

Whether they knew it or not, the astrologers had put little Jesus in great peril.  The star they had seen led them first, not to Bethlehem, but to Jerusalem.  There they told wicked King Herod that they were looking for a child who was to become king of the Jews.    This inflamed the man with jealous rage.

Happily, though, there were forces greater than Herod at work.  How so? Well, the visitor brought out gifts, asking for nothing in return.  How strange it must have been for Joseph and Mary to find themselves suddenly in possession of "gold and frankincense and myrrh" -valuable commodities!  The astrologers intended to tell King Herod just where they had found the child they sought.  However, Jehovah intervened.  By means of a dream, he instructed the astrologers to return home by another route. -Matthew 2:1-12.

Shortly after the astrologers left, Joseph received this warning from Jehovah's angel: "Get up, take the young child and its mother and flee into Egypt, and stay there until I give you word; for Herod is about to search for the young child to destroy it."  (Matthew 2:13) So, as we noted at the outset, Joseph obeyed swiftly.  He put his child's safety above all else and took his family to Egypt.  Because those pagan astrologers gave the family such costly gifts, they now had assets that might help them in the sojourn ahead.

Apocryphal myths and legends later romanticized the journey to Egypt, claiming that little Jesus miraculously shortened the trip, rendered bandits harmless, and even made date palms bend down to his mother to yield their fruit.  In truth, it was simply a long, arduous trek into the unknown.

Parents can learn a lot from Joseph.  He readily interrupted his work and sacrificed his own comfort in order to protect his family from danger.  Clearly, he viewed   his family as a sacred trust from Jehovah.  Parents today raise their children in a perilous world, a world full of forces that would endanger, corrupt, or even destroy young ones.  How admirable are those mothers and fathers who act decisively as Joseph did, working hard to protect their children from such influences! 

Next time: Joseph Provided for His Family

The Watchtower, 2012

Joseph Protected His Family

[Just a little note: For those who have windows home page, you will see that  Satan has put ideas into some ignorant person who doesn't believe in God, to put this trash about humans coming evolving from water.  That is pure garbage. Our minds, bodies and our internal make-up can not come from pure water.  It is a gift from God that most of us take for granted and use up, then we want to blame him when something goes wrong. Use your brain and think about this, and ignore this stupid stuff that Satan is putting out. It is another way of getting people to worship him and he will put what you might call evidence to sway people wherever he feels would help him.]  


Months earlier, in his hometown of Nazareth, Joseph's life  changed forever after his engagement to the daughter of Heli.  Joseph knew Mary as an innocent, faithful young woman.  But then he learned that she was pregnant!  He intended to divorce her secretly to protect her from scandal.  However, an angel spoke to him in a dream, explaining that Mary was pregnant by means of Jehovah's holy spirit. The angel added that the son she bore would "save his people from their sins."  He further reassured Joseph:  "Do  not be afraid to take Mary your wife home." -Matthew 1:18-21.

Joseph, a righteous and obedient man, did just that.  He took on the weightiest of assignments: raising and caring for a son who was not his own but who was most precious to God. Later, in obedience to an imperial decree, Joseph took his pregnant wife to Bethlehem to register.  It was there that the child was born."


Joseph did not take the family back to Nazareth.  Instead, they settled in Bethlehem, just a few miles from Jerusalem.  They were poor, but Joseph did all he could to protect Mary and Jesus from want or suffering.  In a short  time, they took up living in a humble home.  Then, when Jesus was no longer a baby but a small child-perhaps over a year old-their lives suddenly changed again.

A group of men arrived, astrologers from the East, likely from faraway Babylon.  They had followed a star to the home of Joseph and Mary and were looking for a child who was to become king of the Jews. The men were deeply respectful. 

Next time: Conclusion of Joseph Protected His Family

The Watchtower, 2012

He Protected, He Provided, He Persevered

JOSEPH swung another load onto the donkey's back.  Picture him looking around at the darkened village of Bethlehem and patting the flank of the sturdy little beast of burden.  He was surely thinking of the long trip ahead. Egypt!  A foreign people, a foreign  tongue, foreign customs-how would his little family adapt to so much change?


It was not easy to tell the bad news to his beloved wife, Mary, but Joseph braced himself and did it.  He told her of the dream in which an angel delivered this message from God:  The King, Herod, wanted their little son dead!  They had to move right away.  (Matthew 2:13, 14)  Mary was deeply concerned.  How could anyone want to kill her innocent harmless child?  Neither Mary nor Joseph could fathom it.  But they trusted in Jehovah, so they readied themselves.

Unaware of the unfolding drama, Bethlehem slept as Joseph, Mary and Jesus slipped out of the village in the darkness.  Heading southward, with the sky beginning to lighten in the east, Joseph likely wondered about what lay ahead.  How could a lowly carpenter protect his family against forces so powerful?  Would he always be able to provide for his own?  Would he manage to persevere in carrying out his heavy assignment that Jehovah God had given him, to care for and raise this unique child? Joseph faced daunting challenges. As we consider how he rose to meet each one, we will see why fathers today-and all of us-need to imitate the faith of Joseph.

Next time: Joseph Protected His Family

The Watchtower, 2012