YOU MAY GAIN YOUR BROTHER

Strive to Gain Your Brother

Jesus began: "If your brother commits a sin, go lay bare his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." Clearly, this is not a step based on mere suspicion. You should have evidence or specific information that you can use to help your brother to see that he committed a wrong and needs to set matters straight. It is good to act promptly, not letting the matter grow or letting his attitude become entrenched. And do not forget that brooding over it can damage you too. Since the discussion is to be between you and him alone, refrain from talking to others beforehand to win sympathy or improve your self-image. (Proverbs 12:25; 17:9) Why? Because of your goal.

Your objective should be to gain your brother, not to castigate, humiliate, or ruin him. If he really has done wrong, his relationship with Jehovah is at risk. You surely want to keep him as your Christian brother. The likelihood of success will be enhanced if in the private discussion you remain calm, avoiding harsh words or an accusatory tone. In this loving confrontation, remember that you both are imperfect, sinful humans. (Romans 3:23, 24) As he realizes that you have not gossiped about him and sees that you sincerely want to help, a solution may readily come. This kind, clear approach will especially reflect wisdom if it turns out that you both share a degree of fault or that a misunderstanding was really at the root of the matter. -Proverbs 25:9, 10; 26:20; James 3:5, 6.

If you help him to see that a wrong occurred and that it is serious, he may be moved to repent. Realistically, though, pride can be an obstacle. (Proverbs 16:18; 17:19) So even if he does not initially admit the wrong and repent, you may pause before taking the matter further. Jesus did not say 'go only once and lay bare his fault.' Since it is a sin that you can resolve, consider approaching him again in the spirit of Galatians 6:1 and "under four eyes." You may succeed. (Compare Jude 22, 23) Yet, what if you are convinced that as in has been committed and that he will not respond?

Next time: Getting Mature Help

Watchtower, 1999

YOU MAY GAIN YOUR BROTHER

What Did He Mean?

Strictly speaking, what Jesus advised to relates to more serious matters. Jesus said: "If your brother commits a sin." In a broad sense, "a sin" can be any mistake or failing. (Job 2:10; Proverbs 21:4; James 4:17) However, the context suggests that the sin Jesus meant must have been serious. It was sufficiently grave that it could lead to the wrongdoer's being viewed "as a man of the nations and as a tax collector." What does that phrase imply?

Jesus' disciples hearing those words knew that their countrymen would not socialize with Gentiles. (John 4:9; 18:28; Acts 10:28) And they definitely avoided tax collectors, men who were born Jewish but who turned into misusers of the people. So strictly speaking, the reference at Matthew 18:15-17 was to serious sins, not personal offenses or hurts that you can simply forgive and forget. -Matthew 18:21, 22.

Under the Law, some sins called for more than forgiveness from an offended person. Blasphemy, apostasy, idolatry, and the sexual sins of fornication, adultery, and homosexuality were to be reported to and handled by elders (or priests). That is true also in the Christian congregation. (Leviticus 5:1; 20:10-13 Numbers 5:30; 35:12; Deuteronomy 17:9; 19:16-19; Proverbs 29:24) Note, though, that the class of sins Jesus here spoke of could be settled between two persons. As examples: Moved by anger or jealousy, a person slanders his fellowman. A Christian contracts to do a job with particular materials and to finish by a certain date. Someone agrees that he will repay money on a schedule or by a final date. A person gives his word that if his employer trains him, he will not (even it changing jobs)compete or try to take his employer's clients for a set time or a designated area. If a brother would not keep his word and is unrepentant over such wrongs, it would certainly be serious. (Revelation 21:8) But such wrongs could be settled between the two involved.

How, though, would you proceed in resolve the matter? Jesus' words have often been viewed in three steps. Let us consider each. Rather than view them as fixed, legal procedures, seek to grasp their sense, never losing sight of you loving goal.

Next time: Strive to Gain Your Brother

Watchtower, 1999