PARENTS-TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN WITH LOVE

The Need to be Long - Suffering

Paul wrote:  "Love is long-suffering ."  (1 Corinthians 13:4) The Greek expression translated "long-suffering" denotes patience and slowness to anger.  Why do parents need to be long-suffering? Most parents can no doubt think of many reasons.  Consider just a few.  Children seldom ask just once for some desired object.  Even if a parent replies with a firm no, the child may ask again and again, hoping for a different answer.  Teenagers may want to argue at length that they should be allowed to take  some course of action that he parent knows to be foolish.  (Proverbs 22:15)  And like all of us, children are prone to repeat some of their mistakes. -Psalm 130:3.

What can help parents to be long-suffering and patient with their children?   King Solomon wrote:  "The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger."  (Proverbs 19:11) Parents gain insight into their children's behavior by recalling that at one time they used to "speak as a babe."  (1 Corinthians 13:11) Parents, can you remember bothering  your mother or father to give in to a childish request?  As a teenager,did you ever think that your parents just did  not  understand your feelings or problems?  If so,you likely appreciate  why your children behave as they do and why they need  constant, patient reminders of your decisions.  (Colossians 4:6)  it is worth noting that Jehovah told Israelite parents to  "inculcate"  means "to repeat."  This implies that parents may have  to repeat themselves many times before a child learns to apply God's laws.  Similar repetition is often needed to teach other lessons in life.

A long-suffering parent, however, is not a permissive parent.  God's Word warns:   "A boy let on the loose will be causing his mother shame."  To prevent such an outcome, the same proverb states:  "The rod and reproof are what give wisdom."  (Proverbs 29:15) At times, children may question the right of parents to reprove them.  But Christian families should not be run as  democracy, as if the parent's right to enforce rules were somehow dependent on the children's approval.  Rather, Jehovah, as a the ultimate  Head of the family, confers on parents the authority to train  and discipline their children lovingly.  (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 3:15; 6:1-4)  In fact, discipline is closely linked with the next aspect of love mentioned by Paul.

Next time: How to Discipline in Love

Watchtower, 2007

Why Parents Might Say No

What, though, if your parents say no? That can be frustrating. However, understanding their point of view can help you cope with the restrictions. For example, they might say no for one or more of the following reasons.

Greater knowledge and experiences. If you had a choice, likely you would prefer to swim at a beach that is manned by lifeguards. Why? Because while you're in the water having fun, your awareness of danger is very limited. But the lifeguards have a better vantage point from which to spot hazards.

Similarly, because of their greater knowledge and experiences, your parents may be lifeguards on the beach, your parents' goal is, not to spoil your fun, but to help you avoid dangers that could rob you of enjoyment in life.

Love for you. Your parents have a strong desire to protect you. Love moves them to say yes when they can but no when they have to. When you ask their permission to so something, they ask themselves if they can grant the request and then live with the consequences. They will only say yes to themselves-and to you-if they are reasonably convinced that no harm will come to you.

A lack of information. Loving parents will err on the side of caution. If they don't understand what you are asking for or if they feel that vital facts are missing from your request, chances are they will say no.

Next time: How to Improve Your Chances of Getting a Yes

Awake! 2011