Continue with TOOLS FOR BUILDING A HAPPY MARRIAGE

atmosphere of parental bickering. Now as married adults, they may not know how to speak to their mate in a kind and loving way. Nevertheless, your home need not deteriorate into 'a house full of quarreling.' (Proverbs 27:1) The Bible stresses putting on "the new personality," and it does not condone malicious bitterness, screaming and abusive speech. -Ephesians 4:22-24, 31.

What can you do when there are disagreements? If  tempers begin to flare, you may do well to follow the advice of Proverbs 17:14: "Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave." Yes, you might suspend the discussion until later, when both you and your mate have cooled off. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7) In any case, endeavor to be "swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath." (James 1:19) Your goal should be to remedy the situation, not to win the argument. (Genesis 13:8, 9) Choose words and a manner of speaking that will calm you and your mate. (Proverbs 12:18; 15:1, 4; 29:11) Above all, do not remain in a provoked state, but seek help by communicating with God in humble prayer together. -Ephesians 4:26, 27; 6:18.

A Bible proverb says: "The heart of the wise one causes his mouth to show insight, and to his lips it adds persuasiveness." (Proverbs 16:23) Really, then, the key to successful communication  is in the heart, not in the mouth. What is your attitude toward your mate? The Bible encourages Christians to show "fellow feeling." ( 1 Peter 3:8) Can you do this when your marriage partner experiences distressing anxiety? If so, it will help you to know how to answer. -Isaiah 50:4.

Next time: Conclusion of TOOLS FOR BUILDING A HAPPY MARRIAGE

The Book - KNOWLEDGE That Leads To Everlasting Life, 1995