Who Is Responsible?

In parts of Africa, it is customary for older relatives to take over the wedding arrangement.  Couples may feel grateful for this, since it relieves them of the financial obligations.  They may feel that it also relieves them of responsibility for anything that might happen.  However, before accepting any form of help from well-meaning relatives, a couple should be sure that their personal wishes will be respected.

Though Jesus was God's Son who "came down from heaven," there is no indication that he took over and directed most matters at the wedding in Cana. (John 6:41) Rather, the Bible account tells us that someone else was appointed to act as "the director of the feast."  (John 2:8)  This man, in turn, was answerable to the new family head, namely the bridegroom. -John 2:9, 10.

Christian relatives should respect the God-appointed head of the new family. (Colossians 3:18-20)  He is the one who should resume responsibility for what takes place at his wedding.  Naturally, a bridegroom should be reasonable and, if possible, accommodate the wishes of the bride, his parents, and his inlaws.  Still, if relatives  insist on arranging matters contrary to the wishes of the couple, then the couple might have to refuse their help graciously and pay for their own modest wedding.  In this way nothing will take place that leaves  the couple with  unpleasant memories.  For example, at a Christian wedding in Africa, an unbelieving relative who acted as master of the ceremonies made a toast to the dead ancestors!

Sometimes a married couple leave on their honeymoon before the wedding celebration ends.  In such a case, the bridegroom should arrange  for responsible ones to make sure the Bible standards are maintained and that the celebration  ends at a reasonable hour.

Next time: Careful Planning and Balance

The Watchtower, 2000