Parents-Shepherd Your Children - Conclusion of KNOW YOUR CHILDREN

Of course, if your children are to open up to you, they need to view you as available and approachable.  When parents always appear to be too busy to talk, youths in the family are likely to keep their problems to themselves.  And what about being approachable?  More is involved than simply saying the words, "You can come to me anytime."  Your teens need to sense that you will neither discount their problems nor overact to them.  Many parents set  a good example in this regard.  Nineteen-year old Kayla says:  "I can talk to my dad about anything.  He doesn't interrupt, and he doesn't judge; he just listens. Then he always gives me the best advice." 

Even when talking about delicate subjects-dating, for example - be careful not to put so much emphasis on warnings that you neglect to teach your children the proper way to deal with the matter.  To illustrate:  Suppose you went to a restaurant  and discovered that the menu contained only warnings about food poisoning. You would likely leave that place and look for another restaurant.  Your children may react similarly if they come to you for advice but all you have on the "menu" is a list of stern warnings. (Read Colossians 3:21.)  Instead, aim for a balanced approach.  A younger sister named Emily observes:  "When my parents talk to me about dating, they don't make the subject seem negative.  They emphasize the joy  of getting to know someone and finding a marriage mate.  This has helped me to feel comfortable talking to them about it.  In fact, I want to involve them in any relationship I have rather than hide it from them."

In line with what Kayla said, you can show that you are approachable by patiently listening to your children. (Read  James 1:19.)  "In the past," admits a single mother name Katia, "I was  very impatient with my daughter.  I didn't give her a chance to finish what she was saying. I was either too tired to listen or just didn't want to be bothered.  Now that I have changed my behavior, my daughter has changed hers. She has become much more cooperative." 

A father named Ronald had a similar experience with his teenage daughter.  "When she told me that she was in  love with a boy at school, at  first I was very angry," he says.  "But when I reflected on how Jehovah is patient and reasonable with his servants, I thought that it would better for me to give my daughter to express her  feelings before  I tried to correct her.  I'm glad I did!  For the first time, I understood  my daughter's feelings.  When she was finished, I found it easier to speak to her in a loving way. Surprisingly, she was very receptive to my counsel.  She express a sincere  desire to change her behavior."  Frequently talking with your children gives you greater access to  their thoughts and feelings.  That, in turn, will help you to have a greater influence ion the decisions they make in life.

Next time: Parents -Shepherd Your Children - FEED YOUR CHILDREN

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