HELP FOR THE FAMILY/PARENTING

When your child Lies

WHAT YOU CAN DO 

Try to discern why your child is lying. Does he fear punishment? Does he not want to disappoint you?  If you child spins stories to impress his friends, is it because  he is not old enough to understand the difference between reality and fantasy?  If you know why your child is lying, you will be better able to correct him. -Bible principle: 1 Corinthians 13:11. 

At times, use statements instead of questions.  In the scenario described a the outset, the mother, who already knew the facts, sternly asked her son:  "Did you break that vase?"  The child lied,  perhaps fearing Mom's wrath. But instead of asking  an accusatory question, suppose that the mother has simply stated: "Oh, no, you broke the vase!"  By using a statement rather than a question, she does not tempt the child to lie-and she helps him build a pattern of honesty. Bible principle: Colossians 3:9. 

Praise honesty. Children naturally desire to please their parents, so use that inclination to your advantage. Let you child know that honesty is an important  family value and that you therefore expect him to be truthful. -Bible principle:  Hebrews 13:18. 

Make clear to your child that lying destroys trust and that it can take a long time to rebuilt that trust once it is broken. Reinforce good behavior by praising him when  he tells the truth. For example, you could say, "It makes me happy that you are honest."

Set the example. Obviously, you cannot expect your child to be truthful if he hears you say such things as "Tell him I'm not home" when you do not want to speak to someone on the phone or "I'm staying home sick today" when you really just want to relax. -Bible principle:  James 3;17. 

Use the Bible.  Its principles and true-life accounts promote honesty.  The book Learn From the Great Teacher, published by Jehovah's Witnesses, can help you instill Bible principles in your child.  Chapter 22 is entitled "Why We Should Not Lie."  

Next time: THE BIBLE'S VIEWPOINT/CLEANNESS -Does our physical hygiene matter to God?

From the Awake! magazine