YOU MAY GAIN YOUR BROTHER

With less than a year of his ministry left, Jesus had vital lessons for his disciples. You can read them in Matthew chapter 18. One was the importance of being humble, like children. He next stressed that we must avoid stumbling "one of these little ones" and that we should try to recover straying "little ones" so that they do not perish. Then Jesus added valuable, practical advice on settling differences between Christians.

You may recall his words: "If your brother commits a sin, go lay bare his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take along with you one or two more, in order that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every matter may be established. If he does not listen to them speak to the congregation, let him be to you just as a man of the nations and as a tax collector." (Matthew 18:15-17) When should we apply such counsel, and what should be our attitude in doing so?

The preceding article emphasized that since we all are imperfect and prone to error, we need to work at being forgiving. That is especially so when here is hurt over what a fellow Christian said or did. (1 Peter 4:8) Often it is best simply to pass over the offense-to forgive and forget. We can view doing this as contribution to peace in the Christian congregation. (Psalm 133:1; Proverbs 19:11) Yet, there may be an occasion when you may feel that you must resolve a matter with your brother or sister who hurt you. In such a case, Jesus' words above provide guidance.

Jesus advised that you "lay bare his fault between you and him alone." That is wise. Some German translations phrase this, present his fault "under four eyes," meaning yours and his. When you kindly bring up a problem in private, it usually is easier to resolve. A brother who did or said something offensive or unkind may more readily acknowledge the error to you alone. If others were listening, imperfect human nature might incline him to deny being wrong or try to justify what he did. But as you bring the issue up "under four eyes," you may find that it was a misunderstanding rather than a sin or deliberate wrong. Once you both grasp it as misunderstanding, you can settle it, not allowing a trivial issue to grow and poison your relationship. Hence, the principle at Matthew 18:15 can be applied even to minor offenses in daily life.

Next time: What Did He Mean?

Watchtower, 1999