YOU MAY GAIN YOUR BROTHER

Strive to Gain Your Brother

Jesus began: "If your brother commits a sin, go lay bare his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." Clearly, this is not a step based on mere suspicion. You should have evidence or specific information that you can use to help your brother to see that he committed a wrong and needs to set matters straight. It is good to act promptly, not letting the matter grow or letting his attitude become entrenched. And do not forget that brooding over it can damage you too. Since the discussion is to be between you and him alone, refrain from talking to others beforehand to win sympathy or improve your self-image. (Proverbs 12:25; 17:9) Why? Because of your goal.

Your objective should be to gain your brother, not to castigate, humiliate, or ruin him. If he really has done wrong, his relationship with Jehovah is at risk. You surely want to keep him as your Christian brother. The likelihood of success will be enhanced if in the private discussion you remain calm, avoiding harsh words or an accusatory tone. In this loving confrontation, remember that you both are imperfect, sinful humans. (Romans 3:23, 24) As he realizes that you have not gossiped about him and sees that you sincerely want to help, a solution may readily come. This kind, clear approach will especially reflect wisdom if it turns out that you both share a degree of fault or that a misunderstanding was really at the root of the matter. -Proverbs 25:9, 10; 26:20; James 3:5, 6.

If you help him to see that a wrong occurred and that it is serious, he may be moved to repent. Realistically, though, pride can be an obstacle. (Proverbs 16:18; 17:19) So even if he does not initially admit the wrong and repent, you may pause before taking the matter further. Jesus did not say 'go only once and lay bare his fault.' Since it is a sin that you can resolve, consider approaching him again in the spirit of Galatians 6:1 and "under four eyes." You may succeed. (Compare Jude 22, 23) Yet, what if you are convinced that as in has been committed and that he will not respond?

Next time: Getting Mature Help

Watchtower, 1999