How to Let Go of Resentment-WHAT YOU CAN DO

Take responsibility for your resentment.

Granted, it is easy to blame your spouse.  But remember, resentment is a choice.  So is forgiveness.  You can choose to follow the Bible's admonition: "Do no let the sun set while you are still angry."  (Ephesians 4:26)   A spirit of forgiveness gives you an opportunity to approach your marriage problems with a better mind-set. -Bible principle: Colossians 3:13.

Examine yourself honestly.  

The Bible acknowledges that some people are "prone to anger" and "disposed to rage."  (Proverbs 29:22) Does that describe you? Ask yourself: 'Am I inclined toward bitterness?  How easily am I offended?  Do I tend to make issues over minor matters?  The Bible says that "the one who keeps harping on a matter separates close friends." (Proverbs 17:9; Ecclesiastes 7:9) That can happen in a marriage as well. So if you have a tendency toward resentment, ask yourself.  'Could I be more patient with my spouse?' -Bible principle: 1 Peter 4:8.

Decide what is truly important.

The Bible says that there is  "a time to be silent and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:7)  Not every offense needs to be discussed; sometimes you can simply  "have your say in your heart, upon your bed, and keep silent." (Psalm 4:4) When you do need to discuss  a grievance, wait until your irritation has passed.  "When I feel hurt," says a wife named Beatriz, 'I try to calm down first.  Sometimes I later realize that the wrong was not that serious anyway, and then I'm more inclined to speak respectfully." -Bible principle: Proverbs 19:11.

Understand the meaning of  "forgive."

In the Bible, the word "forgive" is sometimes translated from an original language word that suggests the idea of letting go of something.  Therefore, to forgive does not require that you minimize the offense or act as if it never occurred; it could mean that you simply let it go, realizing that resentment can do more damage to your health and your marriage than the offense itself. 

Next time: SPAIN EXPELS THE MORISCOS

From the Awake! magazine, 2014