Keys to a Happy Family/Marriage - When Your Mate Has Something to Say - Continue

A Solution

If you and your mate need to talk about something potentially divisive raise the matter when both of you are calm and relaxed. What if your spouse is reluctant to speak up? Recognize that "a person's thoughts are like water in a deep well, but someone with insight can draw them out." (Proverbs 20:5, Today's English Version) If you draw a bucket out of a well too quickly, you will lose a lot of water. Similarly, if you confront your mate too forcefully, your mate may become defensive and the opportunity to draw him or her out may be lost. Instead, ask questions gently and respectfully, and be patient if your mate does not articulate as quickly as you would like.

When your spouse does speak, "be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath. (James 1:19) A good listener listens not only with ears but also the heart. When your mate speaks, try to understand his or her feelings. Your mate will sense your level of respect-or disrespect-by the way you listen.

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