PARENTS-TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN WITH LOVE

How to Discipline in Love

Paul wrote that "love is . . .kind."  (1 Corinthians 13:4) Parents who are truly kind will discipline their children in a consistent manner.  By doing so, they imitate Jehovah.   "Whom Jehovah loves he disciplines,"  wrote Paul.  Please note that the type of discipline referred to in the Bible does not simply mean punishment.  It carries the  idea of training and education.  What is the purpose of such discipline?  "To those who have been trained by it," Paul states,  "It yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness."  (Hebrews 12:6, 11)  When parents kindly educate their children according to God's will, they give them the opportunity to become peaceable, upright adults.  If children accept "the discipline of Jehovah,"  they gain wisdom, knowledge and discernment-assets more valuable than silver or gold. -Proverbs 3:11-18.

On the other hand, it is not a kindness when parents fail o discipline their children.  Jehovah inspired Solomon to write:  "The one  holding back his rod is hating his son, but the one loving him is he that does look for him with discipline."  (Proverbs 13:24) Children raised without consistent discipline are likely to be self-centered and unhappy.  In contrast, the children of parents who are sympathetic but maintain firm limits, were found to perform better at school, to have better social skills, and to be generally happy.  Certainly, then, parents who discipline their children are being kind to them.

What is involved in disciplining children in a kind and loving manner?   Parents need to discuss with their children exactly what is required of them  For example, from infancy, children of Christian parents are taught fundamental Bible principles as well as the need to participate in the various aspects of true worship.  (Exodus 20:12-17; Matthew 22:37-40; 28:19; Hebrews 10:24,  25)  Children need to know that these requirements are nonnegotiable.

At times, though, parents may want to bring their children into the discussion when formulating house rules.  If youths  are able to share in discussions about those rules, they may be more inclined to obey them.  For instance, in case parents decide to impose a curfew, they could choose a specific hour that the children are required to be at home. Or, as an alternative, they might allow their children to suggest an hour and to offer reasons for their preference.  The parents  may then state their own desired ti9me and explain whey they feel that this is appropriate.    If there is a difference of opinion, as there will likely be, what then?  In some cases, the parents may decide that it might be possible to accommodate their children's wishes when Bible principles are not jeopardized.  Does this mean that the parents are abdicating , or giving up, their authority?

To  answer that question, consider the way in which Jehovah lovingly exercised his authority when dealing with Lot and his family.  After escorting Lot, his wife and his daughters out of Sodom, the angels said to them:  "Escape to the mountainous region for fear you may be swept away!"   However, Lot replied:,  "Not that, please Jehovah!"  Lot then suggested an alternative:  "Please, now, this city is nearby to flee there and it is a small thing.  May I, please, escape there?"  What was Jehovah's response?  "Here I do show you consideration to this extent also,:  he said.  (Genesis 19:17-22)  Did Jehovah abdicate his authority? Certainly not!  Nevertheless, he considered Lot's request and chose to extend extra kindness to him in this matter.  If you are a parent, are there times when  you can consider your children's concerns when establishing family rules?

Next time: Conclusion of How to Discipline in Love

Watchtower, 2007