BULLYING What Can You Do About It?

"If you come to school tomorrow, we'll kill you." -A Canadian student named Kristen received that telephone threat from unidentified female caller.

"I am not an emotional person, but I got to the point of not wanting to go to school. My stomach hurt, and every morning after breakfast, I threw up."-Hiromi,  a teenage student in Japan, recalls her experience with bullying. 



BULLYING A Global Problem

HAVE you ever had  to deal with a bully?  Most of us have at one time or another. It may have been at school or in the workplace, or it many have occurred right at home-where such abuse of power is played out with alarming frequency these days.  A British source, for instance, estimates that 53 percent of adults are verbally bullied by a spouse or a live-in partner. Bullies and their victims may be of either gender and from any walk of life in any part of the world.

What exactly constitutes bullying?  It is not quite the same as harassment or assault. It tends to involve many small incidents that accumulate over time rather than a singles incident or a few of them.  Psychologist Dan Olweus, a pioneer  in the systematic study of bullying, identifies common elements of this behavior, such as deliberate aggressiveness and a marked inequality in terms of power.

Perhaps no single definition covers all aspects of bullying, but it has been called  "a willful, conscious desire to hurt another and put him/her under stress."  The stress is created not only by what actually happens but also by fear of what might happen. Tactics may include harsh teasing, constant criticism, insults, gossip, and unreasonable demands. 

Kristen, the teenager mentioned at the outset, was singled out by bullies during most of her school years. In elementary school, bullies put gum in her hair, teased her about her appearance, and threatened to beat her up.  In high school, things got even worse-to the point that she received threats over the telephone. Now 18, she laments:  "School is a place where you are suppose to learn, not get death threats and get thrown around."

One mental-health professional comments:  "It's a sad but common aspect of human dynamics. Some people feel better diminishing someone else." When such behavior escalates, it may lead to violent retaliation and even tragedy.   For example, a transit employee who had a speech impediment was teased and bullied so much that he finally killed four of his coworkers and then shot himself. 

Types of Bullies

*Physical Bullies: These are the easiest to identify.  They act their anger by hitting, shoving, or kicking their chosen target-or by damaging their victim's property. 

*Verbal Bullies: They use words to hurt and humiliate their target, through either name-calling, insults, or persistent, harsh teasing. 

*Relationship Bullies: They spread nasty rumors about their target. This behavior is  predominately adopted by female bullies.

*Reactive Victims:  These are victims of bullying who turn into bullies themselves. Of course, their having been victims of bullying does not excuse their conduct; it only helps to explain it.

Source: Take Action Against Bullying, by Gesele Lajole, Alyson McLellan, and Cindi Seddon.  

Next time: Bullying A Global Problem - Bullying is Global

From the Awake! magazine, 2003