Raising Responsible Children - Provide Specific Instructions

Jesus like every good teacher, knew that the best way to learn is by doing.  For example, when Jesus felt that the time was right. he sent his disciples out "by twos in advance of him into every city and place to which he himself was going to come." (Luke 10:1)  However, he did not simply leave them to their own devices.  Before sending them out, he gave them specific instructions. (Luke 2:12)  When the disciples returned and reported their success, Jesus commended and encouraged them. (Luke 10:17-24) He expressed both is confidence in their abilities and his approval.

When your children face challenging responsibilities, how do you react?   Do you seek to shield your children from the things they fear, to protect them from disappointment and failure? Your first instinct  may be to "rescue" your child or take the burden upon yourself.

But consider:  Every time you rush in and "save" your children in some manner, what kind of message are you sending?  Are you  indicating that you have confidence in them and believe in their abilities?  Or are you telling them that you still think of them as helpless infants who must rely upon you for everything?

For example, how did Emily, mentioned earlier, deal with her daughter's dilemma?  Instead of interfering, she decided to let Jenny deal directly  with the teacher.  Together, Emily and Jenny wrote out a list of  questions for Jenny to take to school. Then they discussed when to approach the teacher.  They even rehearsed the way the conversation might go.  "Jenny mustered up courage to approach her teacher," says Emily, "and her teacher commended her for her initiative. Jenny was so proud of herself=-and I was proud of her too.

TRY THIS: Write down a current challenge your child faces. Next to the challenge, write down what you could do to help your child meet the challenge  without "rescuing" him or her.  Rehearse with your child the steps  necessary to overcome  the challenge. Express your confidence in the child's ability. 

If you forever shield your children from difficulty, you may, in fact, stunt their ability to take on life's challenges .  Instead, strengthen your children by raising them to accept responsibility. Doing so will one of the most valuable gifts you can give them.

Next time: "There Is an Appointed Time" for Work and for Rest

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