FAMILY HELP/ PARENTING -Teaching Children to Obey

WHAT  YOU CAN DO

Take the lead.  Your child will not accept your role as leader unless he sees you taking the lead.So, in a balanced way, you need to assert your authority.  In recent decades, some so-called experts have made the word "authority" sound harsh. One even calls parental authority "unethical" and "immoral."
 But the alternative -permissiveness-can leave children feeling confused, indulged, and entitled.  It does little to prepare them for  responsible adulthood. -Bible principle: Proverbs 29:15. 

Employ discipline.  One dictionary defines discipline as "training which produces obedience or self-control, often in the form of rules and punishments if these are broken."  Of course, discipline should never be unreasonable or abusive. (Note: A spank or two on the butt, is not abusive; it is only when you do not stop and you hit them harder. Some people do not know the difference. I was spanked and I respect my mother for doing so and I knew why she spanked me, I was misbehaving and being bad, you have to start when they young)  On the other hand, it should not be vague or inconsequential, leaving the child with no incentive to change. -Bible principle: Proverbs 23:13.

Be Clear.  Some parents merely ask for their children's obedience.  ("I would like you to clean up your room-OK?") Perhaps they feel that this shows good manners.  That tactic, however, can put the parent in a submissive role and leave the child free  to weigh the pros and cons of the request and then decide whether  to comply. Rather than abdicate your authority, give clear direction  in the form of statements. -Bible principle: 1 Corinthians 14:9. 

Note: If you don't discipline them right, they will walk all over you and then will never listen to anything you have to say) 

Be decisive.   If you say no, stick to that, and present a united front with your spouse. If you have decided  on a consequence for disobedience, follow through. Do not get embroiled in negotiations or endlessly discuss why you made a decision. It will be  much easier for your child-and for you-if you just "let your 'Yes' mean yes and your 'No,' no." -James 5:12. 

Be loving.  The family is neither a democracy nor a dictatorship. Rather,m it is a God-given arrangement in which children can be lovingly guided toward responsible adulthood. As part of that process, discipline will teach your child to obey and help them feel secure in your love. 

Next time: THE BIBLE'S VIEWPOINT/ VIOLENCE - How Does God View Violence?

From the AWAKE! magazine, 1015