HELP FOR THE FAMILY/ PARENTING

Teaching Children to Obey

THE CHALLENGE

You and your four-year-old keep getting locked in  a battle of wills, and you child always seems to win. 

* When you tell him to do something he does not want to do, he ignores you.

*  When you tell him not to do something he wants to do, he throws a tantrum. 

'Is this only a phase?' you wonder. 'Should I just hope that he grows out of it?

You can teach your child to obey. But before we discuss how, consider one possible reason for his misbehavior. 

WHY IT HAPPENS 

When your child was a newborn, your primary role was that of caregiver. You were at your child's beck and call. All he had to do was whimper, and you came running, anxious to cater to his every need. Of course, such a response was proper and necessary. A newborn or infant needs a parent's constant attention. 

After many months of that treatment, however, it is only natural that a child will act as if he were the master of the house and his parents the servants who are there to do his bidding.  Then, usually by two years of age, the child becomes aware of a harsh reality: his little "autocracy" has crumbled. His parents no longer follow his orders: they expect  him to follow theirs.  This is a rude awakening for children!  Some respond by throwing tantrums. Others test their parents' authority by refusing to obey.  

At that critical time, a parent needs to assume a new role-that of an authority figure who gives clear direction as to what is expected of the child. But what if the child ignores  or rejects  that direction, as depicted in the opening scenario? 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY / PARENTING - Teaching Children to  Obey/WHAT YOU CAN DO

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2015