MAKING PEACE AT HOME

How to Stop Strife in the Home

WHAT if your family seems to be locked in a cycle of strife? Maybe clashes have become more frequent and more intense. Perhaps you do not even know how the disagreements started. Yet you love one another, and you do not want to hurt one another.

It is important to remember that differences of opinion do not necessarily mean that your family life in disintegrating. not the disagreement themselves bu how you handle your disagreements can determine how tranquil or hostile your home environment will be.  Consider some steps that may help to eliminate the strife.

1. STOP RETALIATING.

It takes at least two to argue, but when one begins listening instead of speaking, a heated exchange may start to cool down. Therefore, resist the urge to retaliate when provoked. Maintain your own self-respect and dignity by controlling yourself. Remember, peace int he family is more important than winning arguments.   

2. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FAMILY MEMBER'S FEELINGS.

Active and empathetic listening without interrupting or prejudging can do much to quell anger and restore peace.  Instead of imputing bad motives, acknowledge the other person's feelings.  Do not attribute to malice what may be caused by imperfection. Hurtful speech may be more the product of thoughtlessness or a wounded heart than a mean or a vengeful spirit. 

3. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO COOL DOWN.

If your emotions are volatile, it may be wise to excuse yourself politely and walk away for a short while to cool down. Maybe you can go into another room or go for a walk until you have regained your composure. This is not stonewalling-that is, being uncooperative or evasive-nor is it the silent treatment, where someone refuses to communicate.  Rather, this is perhaps a good time to pray to God for patience, insight, and understanding. 

Next time: MAKING PEACE AT HOME - Conclusion of How to Stop Strife in the Home

From the Awake! magazine