I Lost My Unborn Baby/Comfort in God's Word

The Memorial of Christ's death came the week after my miscarriage.  One evening as we were reading the Bible accounts about Jesus' last days, it suddenly occurred to me:  'Jehovah knows the pain of loss. He lost his own son!'  Because Jehovah is our heavenly Father, I sometimes forget how understanding he is and how much empathy he has for his servants-male and female.  In that instant I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.  I felt closer to Jehovah than ever before.

I also derived much encouragement from Bible-based publications, particularly past issues of the Watchtower and Awake! magazines that dealt with the loss of a loved one.  For example,  the articles on "Facing the Loss of a  Child"  in August 8, 1987, issue of Awake! were very helpful, as was the brochure When Someone You Love Dies.

An End to Grief

As time went by, I knew that I was healing when I could laugh without feeling guilty and when I could have a conversation without it coming back around to the baby I had lost.  Even so, I bumped into emotional land mines on occasion, such as when I saw my friends who had not heard about the miscarriage or when a  family with a new baby visited our Kingdom Hall. 

Then one morning I woke up feeling that the clouds has at last lifted.  Even before I opened my eyes, I had a sense of healing-a peace and clam that I had not felt for months. Still, when I found myself pregnant about a year after I lost the baby, thoughts about the possibility of another miscarriage  surfaced. Happily, I gave birth to a baby boy in October 2001.  

I still grieve for the baby I lost. Yet, the whole episode has increased my appreciation for life, for my family, for fellow Christians, and for God-who comforts us.  The experience has also underscored the poignant truth that God does not take our children but that "time and unforeseen occurrence befall [us] all. -Ecclesiastes 9:11. 

How I look forward to the time when God will eliminate all mourning, outcry, and pain, including the physical and emotional pain of miscarriage!  (Isaiah 65:17-23)  Then all obedient humans will be able to say:  "Death, where is your victory? Death, where is your sting?" - 1 Corinthians 15:55; Isaiah 25:8)  

Next time:I Lost My Unborn Baby/How Family and Friends Can Help

From the Awake! magazine