I Lost My Unborn Baby/What Do We Tell Our Children?

The children had gone to bed aware that something was wrong, but how would we tell them that their future little brother or sister had died?  We decided to be open and honest.  My mother helped us to that end by telling  the children that the baby would not be coming home with us.  When we arrived they ran to meet us and gave us big hugs and kisses.  Their first question was,  "Is the baby OK?" I couldn't answer, but my husband, holding us in a tight circle, said:  "The baby has died."  We held one another and cried, which helped our healing to begin. 

We were not quite prepared, though, for our children's later reactions.  For instance, about two weeks after my miscarriage, it was announced at the local congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses that an elderly Witness and a close friend of our family  had passed away.  David, the four-year-old sobbed uncontrollably, so my husband carried him outside.  After calming down, David asked why his friend died.  Then he asked why the baby died. Next he said to his father:  "Are you going to die?"  He also wanted to know why Jehovah God had not yet destroyed Satan and started to "fix things up."  Indeed, we were surprised to see how much was going through his young mind.  

Kaitlyn also asked many questions.  When playing with her dolls, she often pretended that one doll was sick, while the other dolls became nurses or family members . She set up a cardboard box as a doll hospital and occasionally pretended that one of her dolls had died. Our children's questions and games gave us  many opportunities to teach them important lessons about life and how the Bible can help us to cope with trials.  We also reminded them of God's purpose to make the earth a beautiful paradise, free from all forms of suffering and pain-even death. Revelation 21:3, 4. 

Next time: I Lost My Unborn Baby/How I Coped With the Loss

From the Awake! magazine