HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE-How to Show Respect

THE CHALLENGE

The husband says: "When we got married, my wife and I had different views on what it meant to show respect. Not that one view was right and the other was wrong-they were just different. I often felt that my wife should have been more respectful in the way she spoke to me."

The wife says:  "Part of the culture in which I was raised included speaking loudly, using dramatic facial expressions, and interrupting when others were speaking.  We didn't view that as disrespectful.  But that's a completely different atmosphere from the one in which my husband was raised."

Respect in marriage is not a luxury; it is a necessity. How can you show that you respect your mate?

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Men have a particular need for respect.  The Bible tells husbands:  "Each one of you must love his wife as he does himself."  But then it adds: "The wife should have deep respect for her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)  While both wives and husband need to feel loved and respected, husbands thrive on respect.  "Men need to feel that they can handle  situations, solve problems, and take care of the family," says a husband named Carlos.  When a wife respects her husband for such capabilities, she benefits not only her husband but herself.  "My husband actually shows his love for me more  when I show that I respect him," says a wife named Corrine.

Of course, wives need respect too.   That makes sense because a husband cannot truly love a wife whom he does not respect.  "I need to respect my wife's opinions and suggestions," says Daniel.   "I also need to respect her emotions. My not understanding why she feels a certain way does not mean that I can dismiss how she feels." 

Respect is in the eye of the beholder.  The issue is, not whether you think you should respect, but whether you mate feels respected. This is a lesson learned by the wife quoted at the outset under the heading "The Challenge."  Even if I didn't think I was being disrespectful, If I made my husband feel that I was, then I was the one who needed to change.'

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - How to Show Respect

From the Awake! magazine