Solutions to Common Complaints-Complaint #3

 Complaint  #3: "My mate does not live up to his (or her) obligations."

Bible Principle: "Each of us will render an account for himself to God." -ROMANS 14:12.

Without a doubt, a marriage will not function at its best if only one mate contributes to its success.  But the situation will be worse if both mates are negligent, each blaming the other.

If you dwell primarily on what your mate should be doing, you doom yourself to a life of misery.  Especially will that be so if you use your mate's shortcomings as an excuse to abdicate your own responsibilities.  On the  other hand, if you strive to be a good husband or a good wife, your marriage will  likely improve (1 Peter 3:1-3)  More important, you prove to God that your honor his arrangement of marriage, and your actions will bring him great pleasure. -1 Peter 2:19.

How some have applied this advice:  Kim and her husband, who live in Korea,m have been married for 38 years.  Kim says:  "Sometimes my husband gets annoyed with me and stops talking to me, and I don't even know why.  That makes me feel that his love for me has cooled.  I've sometimes found myself thinking, 'Why does he want me to understand him when he does not try to understand me?' "

Kim could focus on the injustice of the situation and on what her mate is not doing.  Instead, she chooses a different course.  "Rather than remain upset," says Kim, "I've learned that it is best to take the initiative in trying to make peace.  In the end, we are both able to calm down and talk things over peacefully." -James 3:18. 

Next time Solutions to Common Complaints-#4

The Watchtower, 2011