Solutions to Common Complaints - Complaint #5

Complaint: "My husband does not show initiative."

Bible Principle:  "The truly wise woman has built up her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands." -PROVERBS 14:1

If your husband is reluctant to make decisions or to take the lead in managing the  household, you have at least three options.  (1)You could constantly point out his failings or (2) you could usurp  his role as head of the family or (3) you could sincerely commend for any efforts he does make.  If you choose either of the first two options, you will tear down your house with your own hands.  Choosing the third option will help you build up, or strengthen, your marriage.

Many men value respect even more than love.  So if you make your husband feel respected-make him feel that his efforts to take the lead in the family are effective and appreciated-he will likely improve in his role.  Of course, you will at times disagree with your husband on a matter.  the two of you need to discuss those issues.  (Proverbs 18:13)  But the words  you choose and the tone you use will help either to tear down or to build up your marriage.  (Proverbs 21:9; 27:15)  Express yourself respectfully, and you will be  more likely to achieve the outcome you want-a husband who does not hesitate to take the lead.

How some have applied this advice"  Michele, who lives in the United States and has been married for 30 years, says:  "Because my mother raised me and my sister without the support of a husband, she was a very strong independent woman.  I tend to imitate those traits.  So I constantly have to work on showing proper subjection.   For example, I have learned to consult my husband instead of just making my own decisions."

Rachel, why lives in Australia and has been married to Mark for 21 years, was also influenced by her background.  "My mother was never submissive to my father,"  she recalls.  "Arguments and disrespect were the norm.  In the early years of my marriage, I imitated my mother.  Over the years, though, I have learned the value of applying the Bible's advice about showing respect.  Now Mark and I enjoy a much happier marriage."

Next time: Solutions to Common Complaints- Complaint #6

The Watchtower, 2011