HELP FOR THOSE WHO GRIEVE? -What to Expect

Although some experts talk  about grief occuring in set stages, each individual grieves in his or her own unique way.  Do the differences in reactions to grief mean that some people are less saddened by their loss or are "suppressing" their feelings? Not necessarily.  While acknowledging and expressing grief can have a healing effect, there is not one "right way" to grieve.  Much may depend on an individual's culture, personality, and life experiences, as well as the nature of the loss.

HOW BAD WILL IT GET?

Bereaved ones may not know what to expect following the death of a loved one. However, certain emotions and challenges are common and can often be anticipated. Consider the following:

Feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Crying spells, yearning for the deceased, and abrupt mood changes may be experienced.  Emotions may be further charged by vivid memories and dreams. Initially, through, the primary reaction may be shock and disbelief.  Tina recalls her response when her husband Timo, pass away  unexpectedly .  She says "Initially, I was numb.  I couldn't cry at first. I was so overwhelmed that at times I found it difficult to breathe.  I just couldn't believe what had happened." 

Bouts of anxiety, anger, and guilt are also common. "For some time after the death of our 24-year old son Eric, "says Ivan, "my wife, Yolanda, and I were so angry!  This surprised us, since we had never before thought   of ourselves as angry people.  We felt guilty too, as we questioned whether we could have done more to help our son." Alejandro, who wife died after a prolonged illness, also experience  feelings of guilt.  "At first I felt that God was allowing me to suffer this much, I must be a bad person. Than I felt guilty, as if I were blaming God for what happened."  And Kostas, quoted in the preceding article says: "A few times I even felt angry at Sophia for dying.  Then I felt guilty for feeling that way.  After all, it was not her fault.

Next time: HELP FOR THOSE WHO GRIEVE -Continue with What to Expect -Troublesome thinking patterns.

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