How to Strengthen Commitment

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Examine your view.  "Married for life." Does that phrase make you feel trapped, or does it make you feel secure?  When problems arise, does leaving always loom on the horizon as a viable option? To strengthen your commitment, it is essential that you view marriage as a permanent union. -Bible principle: Matthew 19:6

Examine your history. Your view of commitment might be influenced by what you observed in your parent.  "My parents divorced when I was growing up," says a wife named Lea, "and I worry that their experience may have left me with  a negative view of commitment."  Be assured that you can make things different in your own marriage. You are not doomed to repeat your parents' mistakes! Bible principle: Galatians 6:4, 5. 

Examine your speech. In the heat of a disagreement with your spouse, refrain from saying things that you  will later regret, such as "I'm leaving you!" or, "I'm going to find someone who appreciates me!"  Such statements undermine commitment, and rather than address the issue at hand, they merely  involve the two of you in an onslaught of insults. Instead of hurtful speech, you might say something like this:  "Obviously, we're both upset. How can we work together to resolve this problem?" -Bible principle: Proverbs 12:18. 

Send out 'commitment signals.' Keep a photo of your spouse on your desk at work. Talk positively about your marriage to others.  Make it a goal to call your spouse  each day whole you are away. Frequently  talk about "we," and use phrases  such as "my wife and I" or "my husband and I." By such actions, you will emphasize to others-and to yourself-that you are committed to your spouse. 

Find healthy role models. Look to mature couples who have weathered marital problems successfully. Ask them, "What does commitment mean to you, and how has it helped in your marriage?"  The Bible says:  "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens his friend."  (Proverbs 27:17) With that principle in mind, why not benefit from the advice of those who have made their marriage a success? 

Next time:  THE BIBLE'S VIEWPOINT/ADULTERY

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2015