Whatever Happened to Discipline?

Parental Authority Weakens

Some say that a weakening of parental authority began in the 1960's, when so-called experts were urging parents to be more easygoing with their children.  They said: 'Be a friend, not an authority figure.'    'Praise is better than discipline.'  'Rather than correct the bad, catch your children in the act of doing good.' Instead of striking a balance between commendation and correction, experts seemed to imply that reprimanding children would damage their fragile emotions and cause them to resent their parents later in life. 

Note: I would believe that these experts not only do not have children, but have never tried to discipline any. You can do both. You can  correct/discipline when need to and you can commend when they do something good.  My mother disciplined me and taught me to be a responsible person, and I respect her more for that, than I would if she were too easy on me. These experts don't know what they are talking about. I have no use for so-called experts, because just like us, they are imperfect humans as well.  As for discipline, each child is different and one method  of discipline may not work for one child, as it might on another. My sister and I each got a spanking on the bottom by  hand a couple swats on me, anyway and I was good, plus my mother had a certain look about her when she wanted us to  settle down  and behave. You just have to try different methods. But a spanking works the best.  I did not consider it a beating, I deserved a spanking at times. Experts don't know the difference. 

Before long, experts were also heralding the virtues of self-esteem. It was as if the secret  to good parenting was suddenly discovered, and it was simply this:  Make your children feel good about themselves.  Of course, it is important to instill confidence in children. But the self-esteem movement took  things to an extreme. Experts told parents: 'Avoid using negative words such as no and bad.' 'Keep telling your children that they are special and that they can be anything they want to be.' It was as if feeling good was more important than being good. 

In the end, some say that the self-esteem movement has done little more than make children feel entitled (not to mention turning them into mean brats), as if the world owes them, it has also left many young ones "ill prepared for the inevitable criticism and occasional failure that is real life," says the book Generation Me.

One father quoted in that book put it this way:  "There is no self-esteem movement in the work world. . . . If you present a bad report at the office.  Your boss isn't going to say, 'Hey, I like the color paper you chose.' Setting kids up like this is doing them a tremendous disservice."

Next time:  Whatever Happened to Discipline? - Teaching the Wrong Lessons?

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2015