Whatever Happened to Discipline?

C0oTeaching the Wrong Lessons?

Put yourself in the following situations. 

*You are a 'soccer mom.' After school and on weekends, you ferry your son and daughter from one activity  to another; skating lessons, soccer practice-anything to keep them active. I'm exhausted,' you say to yourself, 'but my kids know that they are my life and that I would do anything for them. Isn't that what it takes to b a good mom? 

Consider:  What lessons are your children really learning by having a mother who will wear herself out just to keep them involved?  In time, might your children come to believe that adults-parents in particular are here only to serve their children's needs? 

A better approach: Let your children see that you have needs too. This will teach them to have consideration for others-including you. 

Your were raised by a harsh and critical father, so you have resolved to be the opposite  with your children. At every opportunity you praise your two boys-even when they have done nothing at all that was praiseworthy.  'It's important to make them feel good about themselves.' you tell yourself 'if they feel special they'll have the confidence they need to succeed in life.' 

Consider:  What lessons are your sons really learning by receiving 'empty praise'-praise that is doled out just to make them feel good?  How might overemphasis on your boy's self-esteem hurt them, both now and in life? 

A better approach: Be balanced. Do not be overly critical of your children; at the same time, base your praise on actual effort.

*Your are the mother of two girls, ages six and five.  The older girl tends to be hotheaded. Just yesterday, in a flash of anger, she punched her little sister in the arm. You reflect on how you handled the situation. 'I chose to reason with her rather than  to reprimand her, you recall.  'After all, won't it damage my daughter if I tell her that she was being bad?' 

Consider:  Is reasoning alone enough for a six-year-old?  Is it really harmful to use the word "bad" to describe the act of hitting a sibling? 

A better approach: Impose appropriate consequences for misbehavior. When administered in a loving manner, discipline will help your children learn to adjust their behavior. 

Note: Gee, no wonder there are so many teenagers becoming smart alecs with an attitude, getting in trouble, doing drugs, getting pregnant etc., because parents like this want to reason with children?  They have to know that they did something wrong and that that type of behavior is not acceptable ever! 

Next time: Shifting Opinions

From the Watchtower magazine, 2015