How to Be a Good Father - Fathers Who Are Appreciated

"He plays with me and reads to me at night>" -Sierra, aged 5.

"We can be having tons of fun playing, and he will say, 'Ok, it's time to clean up now. ' At other times, after we've been working, he'll stop and say, 'Now it's time to do something fun." -Michael, aged 10.

"My father has never allowed his secular work or his hobbies to prevent him from helping Mom at home.  Even now, after so many years, he cooks at least s often as Mom does, washes the dishes, helps with cleaning the house, and treats her with love and tenderness." - Andrew, aged 32. 

Next time:Bible Questions Answered - What Makes a Good Parent?
From the jw.org publications

How to Be a Good Father - A Good Father Is Not Too Busy

Sylvan, originally from Barbados, is a New York City bus drive who lives with his wife and three teenage sons. Sylvan  has an extra challenging schedule, working from mid-afternoon until three or four o'clock in the morning. He had Thursday and Friday off, but Saturday and Sunday nights  he has to work. Yet, he is not too busy for his children.

"It's tough, but I try," explains Sylvan.  "Each of my boys needs some one-on-one time with me. Thursday afternoon is set aside for the oldest one when he gets home from school.  On Friday, I schedule time for the middle boy. For the youngest son,I reserve Sunday morning." 

Next time: How to Be a Good Father - Fathers Who Are Appreciated

From the jw.org publications

How to Be a Good Father - 5. Apply God's Practical Wisdom

Fathers who have heartfelt love for God can give their children a most precious heritage-and intimate relationship with their heavenly Father. 

After decades of hard work raising six children, Antonio, one of Jehovah's Witnesses, received the following note from one of his daughters:  "Dear Dad, I just wanted to thank you for raising me to love Jehovah God, my neighbor and myself-that is, to be a well-rounded individual.  You showed me that you  love Jehovah and that you care about personally.  Thank you Dad, for putting Jehovah first in your life and treating your children as gifts from God."

Bible Principle:  "You must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. And these words that I am commanding you today must prove to be in your heart." -DEUTERONOMY 6:5, 6. 

It is obvious that there is more involved in fatherhood than these five points and that, realistically even when you try your best to be a good father,you are not going to be a perfect one. But to the  extent that you apply these principles in a loving and balanced way, you really can be a good father." 

Next time: How to Be a Good Father - A Good Father Is Not Too Busy

From the jw.org publications

How to Be a Good Father - 3. Give Loving Discipline and Loving Commendation

Even when you feel frustrated or angry, the discipline you administer should be an expression of loving concern for the long-term welfare of your child.  It includes advice, correction, education and chastisement when needed.

Furthermore, discipline is much more effective when a father commends his children regularly.  And ancient proverb says: As apples of gold in silver carvings s  world spoken at the right time for it." (Proverbs 25:11)  Commendation enriches a child's character. Children blossom when they are acknowledged and appreciated.  A father who looks for opportunities to give commendation will help to build confidence in his children and motivate them not to give up trying to do what is right.

Bible Principle: "You fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they do not become downhearted." -COLOSSIANS 3:21.

4. Love and Respect Your Wife

The way a father exercises his role as a husband is certain to affect children. One group of experts on child development explains:  "One of the best things a father can do  for his children is to respect their mother. . . . A father and mother who respect each other and let their children know  it provides a secure environment for them." - The Importance of Fathers in the Health Development of Children.

Bible Principle: "Husbands continue loving you wives . . . Let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself." - EPHESIANS 5:25, 33.

Next time: How to Be a Good Father - 5. Apply God's Practical Wisdom

From the jw.org publications 

How to Be a Good Father - 2. Good Fathers Are Good Communicators

In order to communicate effectively with your children, you must be a careful listener. You need to cultivate the ability to listen without overreacting.

If your children think that you will lose your temper quickly and be judgmental, they will have incentive to express their inner feelings to you.  But if you listen to them. They will in turn be far more likely  to share their precious thoughts and feelings with you.

Bible Principle:  The practical wisdom found in the Bible has proved to be beneficial in many aspects of daily life.  For instance, the Bible says:  "Every man must prove to be   swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow  about wrath." (James 1:19) Fathers who apply this Bible principle are able to communicate better with their children. 

Next time: How to Be a Good Father - 3. Give Loving Discipline and Commendation

From the jw.org publications 

How to Become a Good Father - 1. Make Time for Your Family

As a father, how do you show your children that they are important to you?  Surely there are many things you do for your children, including the sacrifices you make to feed them and provide them with an adequate home.  You would not do  such things if your children were not important to you. Yet, if you do not spend significant amounts of time with your children, they might conclude that you care more for other things, such as your job, your friends, or your hobbies,then you do for them. 

When should a father begin to spend time with his children?  A mother begins to form a bond with her child while it is still in the womb. Some 16 weeks  after conception, an unborn baby might begin to hear.  At this stage a father too can start to build his unique relationship with his unborn child. He can listen to the baby's heartbeat, feel it kick, and sing to it.

Bible Principle:  In Bible times men were personally involved in the education of their children. Fathers were encouraged to spend time with their children on a regular basis, is made evident by the Bible's words at Deuteronomy 6:6, 7, Which say: "These words  that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house wand when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up."   

Next time: How to Be a Good Father - 2. Good Fathers Are Good Communicators

From the jw.org publications 

How to Be a Good Father"

"Where did I go wrong?" This question tormented Michael,  From South Africa. As hard as he had tried to be a good father, every time he thought about his wayward 19-year-old son, he wondered if he could have been a better parent. 

In contrast, Terry, who lives in Spain, seems to have succeeded as a father.  His son, Andrew, says:  "Many of my earliest moments of my dad are of him  reading to me, playing with me, and taking me on trips where he and I could spend time alone.  He made learning fun."

Admittedly, it is not easy  to be a good father.  But there are basic principles that can help.  Many fathers have found that they and their families benefit when they follow the wisdom found in  the Bible. Let us consider some of the Bible's practical advice that can help fathers.

Next time: How to Be a Good Father - 1. Make Time for Your Family

From the jw.org publications

HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - Conclusion of How to Forgive

Be realistic.  It is easier to be forgiving when you accept your spouse for who he or she is, flaws and all.   When you focus on what you didn't get, it's too easy to forget all of what you did get," says the book Fighting for Your Marriage.  "Which list do you want to dwell on at this point in life?" Remember, no one is perfect-including you. -Bible principle:  JAMES 3:2.

Be reasonable.  The next time you are offended by something that your spouses said or did, ask yourself:  'Is the situation really that important? Do I need to demand and apology, or can I just overlook what happened and move on? - Bible principles: 1 PETER 4:8. 

If necessary, discuss the matter. Calmly explain what offended you and why it made you feel that way. Do not impute bad motives or make diagnostic statements, since these will only put  you spouse on the defensive.  Instead, simply relate how your spouse's actions affected you.

KEY SCRIPTURES

* "Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another."- COLOSSIANS 3:13. 

* "We all stumble many times." - JAMES 3:2.

* "L0ve covers a multitude of sins" - 1 PETER 4:8.

WHEN YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE

If you have hurt your spouse in some way, sincerely apologize.  Even if you do not agree with your spouse's view of the matter.  You can ask forgiveness for what you have done that resulted in hurt feelings. If you work hard to avoid repeating the same mistake, you will give your spouse confidence that your apology was genuine.

Next time: How to Be a Good Father

From the jw.org publications

HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE -How to Forgive

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Understand what forgiveness involves. In the Bible, at times the word "forgive" means "let go." So forgiveness does not always require that you forget what happened or minimize the wrong. Sometimes it means that you simply need to let go of a matter, for you own well-being and that of your marriage.

Recognized the consequences of not forgiving.  Some experts say that holing on to resentment can put you at greater risk for a wide range of physical and emotional  problems, including depression and high blood pressure-not to mention the damage it does to your marriage.  For good reason, the Bible says:  "Become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving on another." - EPHESIANS 4:32. 

Recognize the benefits of forgiving. A spirit of forgiveness allows you and your mate to give each other the benefit of the doubt rather than  to "keep score" of wrongs.  That, in turn, helps you to create an environment that keeps resentment  in check and allows love to grow. -Bible principle COLOSSIANS 3:13. 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - Conclusion of Forgiveness

From the jw.org publications

HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - How to Forgive

THE CHALLENGE

When you and your spouse argue, you often bring up the past, rehashing a list of old grievances that should have been settled long ago.  The problem?  One or both of you may not know how to forgive.

You can learn.  First, though, consider why a husband and wife may find it difficult to forgive each other.

WHY IT HAPPENS

Power.  Some husband and wives withhold forgiveness to maintain a sort of power over their spouse.  Then, when a conflict arises, they use a past event as a trump card to gain the upper hand.

Resentment.   The scares of a past offense cant take a long time to heal.  A spouse might say 'I forgive you' but still harbor resentment for what happened-perhaps craving to get even. 

Disappointment.  Some people enter marriage fully believing that life will be like a fairy-tale romance.  So when a disagreement arises, they did in their heels, wondering just how their "perfect match" could possibly see things from a different point of view. Unrealistic expectations can make a person more prone to find fault and inclined to forgive. 

Misunderstanding. Many spouses withhold forgiveness because they misunderstand what extending it will be.  For example: 
If I forgive, I am minimizing the wrong. 

If I forgive, I have to forget what happened.

If I forgive, I am inviting further mistreatment

Really, forgiving does not imply any of the foregoing. Still, extending forgiveness can be difficult especially in the close relationship between husband and wife. 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE -How to Forgive

From the jw.org publications

What You Should Know About Epilepsy - Conclusion

How can I give support to someone who has epilepsy?  Encourage him not to bottle up his feelings. Be a good listener. Ask him what he would like you to do if he has a seizure.  Since many people with epilepsy do not drive, perhaps you could offer a ride or run some errands for him.

Can seizures be reduced-or even prevented?  Some factors increase the likelihood of a seizure such as stress and a lack of sleep. Experts therefore encourage epileptics to get proper rest and to exercise regularly in order to reduce stress.  In some cases, medications have also been effective in preventing seizures.

Because of his epilepsy, a young man in Africa names Sello was dismissed from school at an early age.  He grew up without an education and without medications to control his epilepsy. But he wanted to understand the Bible, and Jehovah's Witnesses helped him. They not only studied the Bible with him but also taught him to read. Additionally, a Witness medical doctor  helped him get medication along with a social disability grant.  "Jehovah's Witnesses are truly loving Christians," says Sello, who is now  a Witness himself and enjoys sharing with others God's promise of a new world where sickness will be no more. - REVELATION 21:3-5. 

The Recovery Position

After convulsing has stopped . . .

*Kneel beside the patient and bend his arm at the elbow pointing it upward

* Gently tuck the hand of the patient's other arm underneath his cheek

* With your other hand, pull the patient's knee toward you, slowly rolling him over. Then move the patient's knee in front of his body so that it rests on the floor

* Tilt the patient's head up to allow for unobstructed breathing

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE -How to Forgive

From the jw.org publications

What You Should Know About Epilepsy -Continued

How can I help the patient while he is having a seizure? Place a soft object between his head and the floor/ground, and move sharp objects away from his head.  When convulsions stop, turn the patient on his side.

What should I do after the patient awakens? First, assure him that everything is all right.  Then help him stand upright and guide him to a place where can get needed rest. Most people are confused and sleepy after a seizure. Others recover quickly and continue what they were doing before the attack. 

Do all epileptic seizures include convulsions? No.  Some patients experience a moment of impaired awareness without even falling to the ground.   This is called a petit mal seizure (or absence seizure), which is usually brief with no lingering aftereffects.  Some people with epilepsy undergo prolonged petit mal  seizures, lasting several minutes.  In such a case, the patient may wonder around the room, tug at his clothing, or otherwise behave strangely. After the seizure, he may feel light-headed.

What is it like to live with epilepsy?  Understandably, many people with epilepsy contend with a nagging fear of when and where the next seizure will occur.  To avoid embarrassment, they may tend to avoid social situations. 

Next time: Conclusion of What You Should Know About Epilepsy

From the jw.org publications

What You Should Know About Eplepsy

AN ACQUAINTANCE falls the to the ground, unconscious.  His body stiffens, and his head and limbs begin to convulse.  If you know that the person suffers from epilepsy,  you can provide adequate assistance while waiting for help.  Let us explore some basic facts about this this often misunderstood disorder.

What is epilepsy? Epilepsy is a brain disorder that produces brief attacks called seizures. The entire seizure usually last less then five minutes.  The situation described a the outset  of this article is typically of what is called a grand mall seizure. 

What causes seizures? Researchers believe that  seizures occur when here is an abnormal surge of electrical activity between brain cells.  Just why this happens remains unclear.

If I see someone with epilepsy having a grand mall seizure, what should I do? "Bystanders should let the attack run its course and not interfere with the patient, beyond checking to make sure the person is in no physical danger and can breathe," says the Encyclopedia Brain and Brain Disorders.  On the other hand, the book says:  "An ambulance should be called if the seizure continues for more than five minutes, if another seizure immediately follows the first, or if the person does not regain consciousness a few minutes after the seizure ends." 

Next time: What You Should Know About Epilepsy, Continued.

From the jw..org publications

Three Things That Money Cannot Buy -THE KEY TO HAPPINESS?

"On average," says the Narcissism Epidemic,  "materialistic people are less happy and more depressed.  Even people who simply aspire to have more money suffer from poor mental health;   the also report more physical health problems such as sore throats, backaches, and headaches and more likely to drink too much alcohol and use illegal drugs.  Striving for financial success, apparently, makes people miserable."

A "Shift in Values" 

"When asked about reasons for going to college during the 1960's  and early seventies, most students placed the highest value on 'becoming an educated person' or 'developing a philosophy of life.'  A minority  deemed 'making a lot of money' has become the most important reason to go to college . . . This shift in values among college students take place at the same time that rates of depression, suicide, and other psychological problems have risen dramatically among this group." - The Price of Privilege, by Dr. Madeline Levine. 

"Retail Therapy"

According to Dr. Madeline Levine, spending can become "retail therapy" that gives people a measure of comfort in a world where family, community,  and church have failed them.  "Shopping is one way to control our environment," she writes in the Price of Privilege.  "It puts us in charge of transactions and confers a sense of power on the buyer.  This type of power is illusory . . . The real power is being exerted by large corporations  and their advertisers, who are paid to suggest that consumer goods confer magical and protective powers on buyers." 

Next time: What You Should Know About Epilepsy

From the jw.org publications 

Three Things That Money Cannot Buy - PERSONAL CONTENTMENT

"My parents raised me to live simply," says 24-year-old Tanya.  "My twin sister and I were happy growing up, even though much of the time we had only enough to get by."

To think about:  Why might it be difficult to be content with basic necessities?  When it comes to attitudes toward money, what example do you set for your family? 

Bible principles to consider:  

* "Having sustenance and covering, we shall be content with these things," - 1 TIMOTHY 6:8.

* "Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need." - MATTHEW 5:3. 

The bottom line:  There is more to life than money and the things it can buy.  After all, it is as the Bible says:  "Even when a person has an abundance his life does not result from the things he possesses." (Luke 12:15)  Really, the greatest satisfaction in life comes from answering important questions such as these: 

* Why am I here?

* What does the future hold?

* How can I fill by spiritual needs? 

The publishers of this magazine, Jehovah's Witnesses, would be happy to help you find answers to those questions. 

Next time: Three Things That Money Cannot Buy - THE KEY TO HAPPINESS? 

From the jw.org publishers

Three Things That Money Cannot Buy - GENUINE SECURITY

"My mom is always telling me that I need to marry a man with a lot of money and learn a trade so that I can have a good job to fall back on for the rest of my life," says 17-year-old Sarah/  "The only thing that sees  to be on the back of her mind is where her next paycheck is coming from."

To think about: When contemplating the future what legitimate concerns do you have? When does legitimate concern cross the  and become inordinate worry?  How might Sarah's mom provide a more balanced approach to financial security?

Bible principles to consider:   "Stop storing up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume, and where the thieves break in and steal." - MATTHEW 6:19. 

"You do not know what your life will like tomorrow." - JAMES 4:14.

The bottom line:  "There is more  to a secure future than stockpiling money. After all, money can be stolen- and it cannot cure disease or prevent death.  (Ecclesiastes 7:12)  The Bible teaches   that genuine security comes from knowing God and his purpose. -  JOHN 17:3.

Next time: Three Things That Money Cannot Buy - PERSONAL CONTENTMENT

From the jw.org publications 

Three Things That Money Cannot Buy - 1. FAMILY UNITY

Brianne, a teenager in the United States, feels that her father places too much importance on his job and the money it provides.  "We have everything we need and more," she says, "But my dad is never home because he is always traveling.  I know it's because of his work, but I think he has a responsibility to his family too!?

 To think about:   What might Brianne's  father experience later in life?  By putting too much emphasis on material things, how is he affecting his relationship with his daughter?  What does his family need from him more than money?

Bible principles to consider:  

* "The love of money causes all kinds of trouble.  Some people want money so much that they have . . . caused themselves a lot of pain." - 1 TIMOTHY 6:10, Contemporary English Version.

 "Better to eat vegetables  with people you love than to eat the finest meat where there is hate." - PROVERBS 15:17,  Good News Translation. 

The bottom line:  Money cannot buy family unity. That comes from spending time with your family and giving them adequate love and attention. - COLOSSIANS 3:18-21.

Next time: Three Things That Money Cannot Buy - 2. Genuine Security

From the jw.org publications

Three Things That Money Cannot Buy

IT SEEMS  so ironic. Even when people face the threat of losing their job, their home, and even their pension,  many of them are still obsessed with getting anything and everything that money can buy.

 Such people are easy targets for advertisers, whose seductive marketing campaigns tell us that  we must have a bigger home,  better car, and brand-name clothes. No cash? No problem-buy on credit!  For many, the goal is to look well-off even if they are in deep debt.

 Of course, sooner or later, reality sets in.  "Buying fleshly consumer goods on credit in order to look and feel like a winner is similar to hitting the crack pipe in order to improve your mood," says the book The Narcissism Epidemic.  "Both are initially cheap and work really well-but only for  a very short period of time.  In the long term both leave you penniless and depressed. 

The Bible exposes the folly of what it calls "the showy display of one's means of life." (John 2:16)  That fact is, an obsession with possessions distracts us from the very things that matter most in life-the things that money cannot buy.  Consider some examples. 

 Next time:Three Things That Money Cannot Buy - FAMILY UNITY

From the jw.org publications

HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - When A Friendship Gets Too Close

KEY SCRIPTURES 

* "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate." - JEREMIAH 17:9.

* "A man . . . must stick to his wife." - GENESIS 2:24.

* Rejoice with the wife of your youth . . . With her love may you be in ecstasy constantly." - PROVERBS 5:18, 19. 

"JUST FRIENDS"? 

ASK YOURSELF:

* Do I talk about my marital problems with this person?

* Do I create opportunities to be with him or her?

* Do I hide the relationship from my spouse?

* If my spouse were present, would I be embarrassed?

* Would my spouse feel suspicious or betrayed if he or she overheard our conversations?

Next time: Three Things That Money Cannot Buy

From the jw.org publications

HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE- When A Friendship Gets Too Close

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Recognize the danger.  The Bible says: "Can you carry fire against your chest without burning your clothes?" (Proverbs 6:27, Good News Translation)  The fact is, developing a romantic attachment when you are already married to someone else is destructive.  (James 1:14, 15) It is not just a matter of what might occur.  Consider what has already happened.  By giving that kind of attention to someone else, you have robbed your spouse of the attention he or she should get from you. 

Give up the illusion.  A close friendship might make you wonder what life might have been like had you married this person. Likely, though, you are pitting your friend's strengths against your spouse's weaknesses - an unfair comparison, to say the least? Remember, too, that the euphoria you experiences when you think about your friend is probably the same feeling you initially  had for the person you married. - Bible principle:  JEREMIAH 17:9. 

Set boundaries.  People will install an alarm system in their vehicle or home to prevent theft. You can something similar for your marriage.  "Safeguard your heart," says the Bible. (Proverbs 4:23) How can you do that? Try the following:

* Send out clear signal that you are already committed-perhaps by keeping photographs of your spouse at work. - Bible principle: GENESIS 2:24. 

* Decide what you will and will not tolerate when it comes to conduct with the opposite sex.  For example, it would hardly be fitting to talk to such a friend about your marital problems or to go out for drinks with a coworker of the opposite sex. 

* If you have become too close to a member of the opposite sex, end the relationship. If that seems too much to bear, ask yourself why. Instead of trying to defend your relationship with this person, stand up for your spouse and take steps to protect your marriage, -Bible principle: PROVERBS 5:18, 19. 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE -Conclusion of When A Friendship Gets Too Close

From the jw.org publications

HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - When a Friendship Gets Too Close

THE CHALLENGE

You have a friend of the opposite sex who really  understands you.  The two of you can talk about anything, and you do. 'We're just friends,' you tell yourself-although your spouse might think otherwise if he or she were privy to your lingering conversations.

Likely, your friendship; is already too close and you need to address the situation. First, though, consider why you might have become entangled in such a relationship. 

WHY IT HAPPENS

Fulfillment.  Simply put, attention from the opposite sex feels good. It flatters us to know that we are valued, and it makes us feel attractive.  After being married for a time, you might begin to find reassurance in the company of a friend of the opposite sex. But know this: Having such needs fulfilled by someone other than your spouse comes at a cost. When you form an improper emotional connection with a member of the opposite sex, you weaken your connections with your spouse.  In a sense, you rob your spouse of the affection you own him or her.  

*Ask yourself, 'What needs are being fulfilled by this friendship that would better be fulfilled in my marriage?'

Vulnerability.   The Bible acknowledges that those who marry will have a degree of "tribulation."  (1 Corinthians 7:28)  For instance, at times you might feel neglected or unappreciated by your spouse, or you may harbor resentment over an unresolved conflict.  Perhaps your spouse avoids talking about such issues, leaving you frustrated and vulnerable to the attention of someone else.  Some experts say that shying away from discussing difficult issues can be a significant predictor of unhappiness in marriage-and even a predictor of  divorce. 

* Ask yourself, 'is there any void in my marriage that has made me vulnerable to an inappropriate friendship? 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - Continue with When a Friendship Gets Too Close

From the jw.org publications 

Improve Your Study Habits - PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL

It is good to read the Bible with a healthy dose of curiosity. Suppose, for example,  that you are reading the 12th chapter of Zechariah's prophecy, which foretells the death of the Messiah. (Zechariah 12:10) When you come to verse 12, you read that "the family of Nathan's house"  would grieve bitterly at the Messiah's death.  Instead of quickly passing  over that detail, you pause and ask yourself:  'What is the connection between the house of Nathan and the Messiah?  Is there any way to get more information? You do a little "detective" work.  A marginal reference leads you to 2 Samuel 5:13, 14, where you learn that Nathan was one of King David's sons.  A second marginal reference, Luke 3:23, 31, reveals that Jesus was a direct descendant of Nathan through Mary.  (See "Joseph son of Heli," study note on  Luke 3:23.)  Suddenly you are intrigued!  You knew that Jesus was foretold to be a descendant of David. (Matthew 22:42)  But David had more  than 20 sons. Is it not amazing that Zechariah pinpoints the household of Nathan in particular as having a reason to mourn the death of Jesus?

Consider another example.  in the first chapter of Luke, we read that the angel Gabriel visited Mary and announced regarding the son she was to bear: "This one will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and Jehovah God will give him the throne  of David his father, and he will  rule as King over the house of Jacob forever." (Luke 1:32, 33)  We might be inclined  to focus on the first part of Gabriel's message, namely, that Jesus would be called "Son of the Most High." But Gabriel also prophesied that Jesus would rule as "King."  So we ask ourselves what those words of Gabriel might have meant to Mary.  Did she take  Gabriel's words to mean that Jesus would replace King Herod-or one of his successors as the ruler of Israel? If Jesus did become king, Mary would be the queen mother, and her family would live in the royal palace. Yet, there is no record that Mary even raised such a possibility with Gabriel; nor did we ever read that Mary asked for a position of favor in the Kingdom, as two of Jesus' disciples did. (Matthew 20:20-23) This detail reinforces  our picture of Mary as an extremely humble woman.

Let us remember that our ultimate goal in studying God's Word and our Christian publications is to draw closer to Jehovah. We also want to see more clearly "what sort of person" We are and what changes we need to make in  order to please God.  (Read James 1:22-25; 4:8)  At the beginning of each study period, then,  we should ask Jehovah for his spirit.  We should beg him to help us to benefit fully from the material and to see ourselves as he sees us.

May all of us be like the man of God described  by the psalmist: "His delight is in the law of Jehovah, and he reads His law in an undertone day and night. . .. Everything he does will succeed." - PSALM 1:2, 3. 

Next time: HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - When a Friendship Gets Too Close

From the jw.org publications

IMPROVE YOUR STUDY HABITS - DEVELOP YOUR INTEREST

Suppose that at an upcoming congregation meeting we are scheduled to explore the writings of one of the so-called minor prophets, perhaps one with whom you are not very familiar.  The first step might be to develop an interest in what that prophet wrote. How might you accomplish that?

First, ask yourself: 'What do I know about the writer of the book? Who was he, where did he live, what was his occupation?  The background of the writer  may also explain his choice of words or the type of illustrations he used. As you read the Bible, look for phrases that reflect the  personality of the writer.

Next, you will find it helpful to place the writing of the book in the stream of time.  You can easily do that by checking the "Table of the Books Bible" in the back of the New World Translations of the Holy Scriptures.  In addition,  you could review the chart of prophets and kings in Appendix A6.  If the Bible book you are studying is prophetic, you would do well to find out about conditions that existed at the time of the writing. What bad attitudes or practices did the prophet hope to correct?  Who were his contemporaries?  To get a complete overview, you may need to consult  more than one source. For example, to understand more fully what was taking place when the prophet Amos lived, you will benefit by consulting passages in the books of 2 Kings and 2 Chronicles, which are listed in the marginal references to Amos 1:1.  In addition, you might review the writing of Hosea, who may been a contemporary of Amos.  All these sources would help shed a light on the period in which Amos lived. - 2 KINGS 14:25-28; 2 CHRONICLES 26:11-15; HOSEA 1:1-11; AMOS 1:1. 

Next time: Improve Your Study Habits - PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL

From the jw.org publications

Improve Your Study Habits - STUDY WITH A PURPOSE

If you are not a studious person, you may not think it possible to learn to enjoy studying.  But you can. Start out with shorter periods, and then gradually increase the time you spend. Have a goal in mind. Of course, our ultimate goal should be to draw ever closer to Jehovah. A more immediate goal may be to answer a question that someone has asked or to research on a problem that we are facing.

As an example, are  you a young  person in school?  Your classmates may all believe in the theory of evolution.You would like to defend the Bible's teaching, but perhaps you do not feel qualified to do so. That calls for a study project!  You aim could be twofold: (1) to strengthen you own conviction that God created all things and (2)  to improve your ability to defend the truth.  (Romans 1:20; 2 Peter 3:15)  You might first ask yourself, 'What arguments have my classmates used in support of evolution?  Then using your publications, do careful research. Defending your beliefs may not be as hard  as you think. Most people believe in evolution simply because someone they respect told that that it is true.  If you find just a point or two that you can share, you may provide a satisfactory answer to a sincere inquirer. Read COLOSSIANS 4:6. 

Next time: Improve Your Study Habits -  DEVELOP YOUR INTEREST

From the jw.org publications

Improve Your Study Habits - STUDY IS WORK!

To study is to read with sustained, purposeful concentration. It is not just a matter of skimming the assigned material and underlining the answers.  When preparing for the Watchtower Study, for example, first take note of the subheadings and the review questions.  Then, read the article slowly and carefully. Take not of the topic sentence, which is usually  the first sentence of every paragraph.  The topic sentence will often  alert you to the direction in which the paragraph will be taking you.  As you read through the article, thing about the way each paragraph supports the subheading  and ties in with the general theme  of the article. Make a note of any unfamiliar words and of points that you would like to clarify through further research.

The Watchtower Study is the study of the Bible. Therefore, pay particular attention to the scriptures, especially those that will be read when the congregation considers the material. Take special note of how the key words or phrases in those scriptures support the point being made in the paragraph. Moreover, take time to meditate on the scriptures that you read, and reflect on how you can perpetually apply them in your life. - Read JOSHUA 1:8.

Understandably, parents want the weekly Family Worship  period to be a pleasant experience for their children.  However, although parents should always have something definite in mind for family worship, there is no need for them to feel that they must organize special activities or exciting projects each week. While the Family Worship period may be spent  watching a monthly program on JW Broadcasting, it is also important for children to be taught how to study.  They need to learn how prepare for congregation meetings, for example, or how to do research on an issue that has arisen at school.  (Read  Hebrews 5:14)   If they spend some time on study projects at home, they will be better  equipped to focus on the material presented at congregation meetings, assemblies, and conventions, which may not always feature a video.  Of course, the length of each study period will depend on the age of the children.

Our Bible student also need to learn how to study.  When they are new, we happy to see them simply underline the answers in preparation for their Bible study or for congregation meetings.  But we do need to teach our Bible students how to do research and how to do meaningful study on their own. In that way, when problems arise, instead of immediately turning to others in the congregation for help, they will know how to get practical advice for themselves by doing research in our publications.

Next time: Improve Your Study Habits - STUDY WITH A PURPOSE

From the jw.org publications 

Improve Your Study Habits - SET YOUR PRIORITIES

What should our priorities include?  We should certainly spend time each day studying God's Word.  The amount of material now scheduled for the congregation weekly Bible reading has been reduced in order to give us more time on what we read and to do extra research.  Our goal should be, not merely to cover the assigned material, but to allow the Bible's message to touch our hearts and to draw us closer to Jehovah. - PSALM 19:4.

What else should we study carefully?  Of course, we want to prepare the material for the Watchtower Study and the Congregation Bible Study as well as other material for the midweek meeting. We should also keep up with each issue of the Watchtower and Awake!

'Fine,you may say, 'but what about all the features that appear on our website, jw.org, as well as  the material that is presented on JW Broadcasting? There is so much!'  Consider and illustration:  A great variety of delicious food is available on a buffet at a restaurant.  The patrons of the restaurant could never sample everything that is offered.  So they choose just  a few dishes. Similarly, if you are unable to keep up with everything that is supplied electronically, do not be discouraged.  Read or watch what you can. Let us now discuss what is involved in study and how to derive the most benefit from our study.

Next time: Improve Your Study Habits - STUDY IS WORK!

From the jw.org publications

Improve Your Study Habits!

"Make sure of the more important things." -PHILIPPIANS 1:10.

 IT TAKES a great deal of effort to earn a living these days.  Many of our brothers work long hours just provide the necessities of life for their families. Countless others spend several hours each workday traveling to and from their places of employment. Many support themselves by doing hard physical labor. By the end of the day, these hardworking brothers and sisters are exhausted!  The last think may are inclined to do is study.

The fact is, though, that we must find time to study-really study-God's Word and our Christian publications.  Our relationship with Jehovah and our everlasting life depend on it.  (1 Timothy 4:15)  Some rise early every day and study when their home is quiet and their mind is fresh after a night's rest.  Others set aside a few tranquil minutes at the end of the day to take in spiritual food and meditate on it.

 No doubt you agree that it is important to find time to study.  But what should we study?  'There s so much to read,' you may say. 'I find it hard to keep up.'  'Some manage to take full advantage of every spiritual provision, but many of our brothers struggle to find the time to do so.  The Governing Body is aware if this.  For that reason, direction was recently given to reduce the amount of material provided both in print and in digital form. 

For example, We no longer publish the Yearbook of Jehovah's Witnesses, since many encouraging experiences  are available on jw.org  as well as on the monthly programs of JW Broadcasting. The public edition of the Watchtower and Awake magazines are now published just three times a year.  These adjustments have not been made so that we will have more time to pursue other activities. They have been put in place to enable us to give careful attention to  "the more important things." (Philippians 1:10)  Let us discuss how you can set priorities and how you can benefit fully from personal Bible study. 

Next time: Improve Your Study Habits - SET YOUR PRIORITIES

From the jw.org publications

Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World" - THE BIBLE'S VIEW OF SELF-IMPORTANCE

 The Bible helps us to have a balanced view of ourselves. It acknowledges that a degree of self-love is proper.  Jesus said:  "Love your neighbor as yourself," which means that we should give a reasonable amount of attention to our needs.  (Matthew 19:19) However, the Bible does not teach that we should elevate ourselves above others.  Rather, it states: "Do noting our of contentiousness or out of egotism., but with humility consider others superior to you." - PHILIPPIANS 2:3; read ROMANS 12:3. 

Today, many people who are considered wise would ridicule the Bible's counsel about self-importance.  They would say that considering others superior to you would make you vulnerable and that others would take advantage of you. Really, though, what fruitage has the self-centered attitude promoted by Satan's world produced? What have you observed? Are selfish people happy?  Do they have happy families? Do they have genuine friends? Do they have a close friendship with God? From what you have seen, which produces the best results-following the wisdom of this world or the wisdom found in God's World?

People who follow the advice of those whom the world views as wise are like a father who asks a fellow tourist for directions when both of them are lost. Jesus said regarding the "wise" men of his day: "Blind guides is what they are. If, then, a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit." (Matthew 15:14) Truly, the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. 

The Bible's wise counsel has always proved to be "beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for correcting, for disciplining in righteousness." (2 Timothy 3:16) How thankful we can be that Jehovah, through his organization, has protected us from the wisdom of this world! (Ephesians 4:14) The spiritual food he has provided gives us the strength we need to cling to the standards of his Word.  What a privilege it is to be guided by the infallible wisdom found in the Bible! 

Next time: Improve Your Study Habits!

From the jw.org publications

Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World" - CHANGES IN VIEWPOINT TOWARD LOVE OF SELF

The Bible warned that during the last days, people would become lovers of themselves." (2 Timothy 3:1, 2)  Not surprisingly, the world has encouraged an inflated view of self. One reference work says that during the 1979's "self-help books proliferated."  Some books "urged readers to know and accept themselves and to celebrate who they were."  Consider, for example, the statement made in one such book: "Be in love with the most beautiful, exciting, worthy person ever - you."  The book advocates a "religion of the self in which an individual determines his own behavior based upon his own conscience and the laws of his culture that work for him."  

Does that idea seem familiar to you? Satan encouraged Eve to do something similar. He said that she could  "be like God, knowing good and bad." (Genesis 3:5)  Today, many think so highly of themselves that in their opinion no one-not even God-can tell them what is right and what is wrong.  For example, that attitude has become especially evident in the way people view marriage.

The Bible instructs the husband and wife to honor each other and their marriage vows. It encourages marriage mates to have a deep sense of commitment to each other, stating: "A man will leave his father and his mother and he will stick to his wife, and they will become as one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)  In contrast, those influenced by the wisdom of the world promotes a different view, saying that each spouse should focus on his or her own needs.  "In some ceremonies," notes one book about divorce,  "the traditional pledge to marry for "as long as we both shall live' was replaced  with the more limited promise to marry for 'as long as we both shall love."  Such a casual view of marriage has led to countless broken families and has caused immeasurable emotional harm. Without a doubt, the world's disrespectful view of marriage is a foolish teaching. 

 The Bible says: "Everyone proud in heart is detestable to Jehovah." (Proverbs 16:5)  Why does  Jehovah detest proud people?  One reason is that those who develop and promote inflated love of self  Satan's own arrogance.  Imagine, Satan believed that Jesus - the one  whom God used to create all things-should bow down and worship him!  (Matthew 4:8, 9; Colossians 1:15, 16) Those with such an inflated view of their own importance confirm that the wisdom of the world is foolishness with God. 

Note: AMEN! Satan is causing all this trouble. He gets into unbeliever's minds and tells them what to do/say.  It is wrong! 

Next time: Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World" - The Bible's 'View of Self-Importance

From the jw.org publications

Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World - THE BIBLE'S VIEW OF SEXUAL MORALITY

People who adopt the wisdom of this world ridicule the Bible's moral standards, claiming that they are unrealistic. Such people might ask,  'Why would God create us with sexual desires and then tell us not to act on them? That question is founded on the flawed believe that humans must act on every urge they feel. But the Bible states otherwise.  It dignifies us by teaching that we can choose to control improper impulses. (Colossians 3:5)   In addition, Jehovah has provided the gift of marriage, an arrangement in which proper sexual desires can be honorably satisfied.  (1 Corinthians 7:8, 9)   Within that arrangement, a husband and wife can enjoy the sex without the  regrets and insecurities that so often result from immorality. 

In contrast with the wisdom of this world, the Bible promises a healthy view of sexuality. It acknowledges that sex can be a source of pleasure.  (Proverbs 5:18, 19)  However, the Bible says:  "Each one of you should know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not with greedy uncontrolled sexual passion like the nations that do not know God." - 1 THESSALONIANS 4:4, 5.

 During the early 2oth century, Jehovah's people were not swayed by the empty deception of those who had "gone past all moral sense." (Ephesians 4:19)  They tried to stick close to Jehovah's standards.  The May 15, 1926, Watch Tower "stated that "a man or a woman should be chaste and pure in thought and act, particularly with reference to the opposite sex."  Regardless of what was happening in the world around them, Jehovah's people followed the superior  wisdom of God's Word. (Read 1 John 2:15, 16) How grateful we are for God's Word!n  We are also thankful that Jehovah provides timely spiritual food to help us resist adopting the wisdom of the world regarding morality. - Read ROMANS 1:24-27.

Next time: Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World" - CHANGES IN VIEWPOINT TOWARD LOVE OF SELF

From the jw.org publications

Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World" - CHANGES IN VIEWPOINT TOWARD MORALITY

In the United States, the early part of the 20th century saw a big change in people's viewpoints about morality. Previously, many believed that sex was reserved only for those who are married and was not a topic to be discussed in public.  But those standards crumbled, and permissive spread. 

The third decade of the 20th century became known as the Roaring Twenties, and it was characterized by far-reaching social changes.  "Motion pictures, plays, songs, novels, and advertising all reflected the market for sexually-themed entertainment," says one researcher.  During  that decade, dancing styles became more sexually suggestive and clothing styles became less modest.  As the Bible  foretold about the last days, people would t0 a remarkable degree become "lovers of pleasures." - 2 TIMOTHY 3:4.

In the 1960's, issues such as living together without being married, homosexual conduct, and easy divorce became prominent.  Many forms of entertainment featured increasingly explicit depictions of sex.  In recent decades, the bad effects of loose moral standards have been felt in many ways.  One author wrote that the cause of broken families, single-parent families, emotional wounds, pornography addiction, and similar woes is related to "the deregulation of sexual norms now shaping society."  The prevalence of sexual transmitted diseases such as AIDS, is just one indication  that the wisdom of the world is foolishness. AMEN TO THAT! -2 PETER 2:19. 

The world's view of sex serves Satan's purpose. No doubt, he delights to see  people abuse God's gift of sex and degrade God's gift of marriage.  (Ephesians 2:2) Not only does sexual immorality tarnish Jehovah's beautiful gift of procreation but it can prevent those who engage in it from inheriting everlasting life. - 1 CORINTHIANS 6:9, 10.

Next time: Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World" - THE BIBLE'S VIEW OF SEXUAL MORALITY

From the jw.org publications

Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World"

"The wisdom of this world is a foolishness with God." - 1 CORINTHIANS 3:19.


WE CAN face any challenge-all because Jehovah is our Grand Instructor.  ( Isaiah 30:20, 21)  His Word give us everything we  need to be "fully competent" and " completely equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:17) When we live by Bible teachings, we become wiser than those who promise "the wisdom of this world." - 1 CORINTHIANS 3:19; PSALM 119:97-100.

As we will see, the wisdom of this world  often appeals to our fleshly desires. So we might find it difficult  to resist thinking and acting like those who part of the world.  For good reasons, the Bible says:  "Look our that no one takes you captive by means of the philosophy and empty deception according to human tradition." (Colossians 2:8)  In this article, we will examine the history of how two empty deceptions, or lies, became popular. In each case, we will see why the wisdom of the world is foolishness and how the wisdom of God's Word is far superior to anything the world offers.

Next time: Do Not Be Fooled by "the Wisdom of This World"- CHANGES IN VIEWPOINT TOWARD MORALITY

From the jw.org publications