HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE - Conclusion of How to Forgive

Be realistic.  It is easier to be forgiving when you accept your spouse for who he or she is, flaws and all.   When you focus on what you didn't get, it's too easy to forget all of what you did get," says the book Fighting for Your Marriage.  "Which list do you want to dwell on at this point in life?" Remember, no one is perfect-including you. -Bible principle:  JAMES 3:2.

Be reasonable.  The next time you are offended by something that your spouses said or did, ask yourself:  'Is the situation really that important? Do I need to demand and apology, or can I just overlook what happened and move on? - Bible principles: 1 PETER 4:8. 

If necessary, discuss the matter. Calmly explain what offended you and why it made you feel that way. Do not impute bad motives or make diagnostic statements, since these will only put  you spouse on the defensive.  Instead, simply relate how your spouse's actions affected you.

KEY SCRIPTURES

* "Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another."- COLOSSIANS 3:13. 

* "We all stumble many times." - JAMES 3:2.

* "L0ve covers a multitude of sins" - 1 PETER 4:8.

WHEN YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE

If you have hurt your spouse in some way, sincerely apologize.  Even if you do not agree with your spouse's view of the matter.  You can ask forgiveness for what you have done that resulted in hurt feelings. If you work hard to avoid repeating the same mistake, you will give your spouse confidence that your apology was genuine.

Next time: How to Be a Good Father

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