Specific but Not Overbearing

When offering help to a widow, it is best to be clear and specific but not overbearing. Avoid vague comments such as, "Let me know if you need anything."  That could amount to saying,"Keep warm and well fed" to someone who  is cold and hungry and then doing nothing to help.  (James 2:16) Many people will not ask for assistance when they need something; instead, they suffer in silence. To help such ones takes discernment, perceiving what their needs are.  On the other hand, taking too much initiative-essentially taking over the widow's life-might lead to hurt feelings or conflict.  Hence, the Bible stresses the need for balance in our dealings with the others.  While encouraging us to take and unselfish  personal interest in people, it reminds us not to be  busybodies. -Philippians 2:4; 1 Peter 4:15.

Ruth displayed such a balanced attitude toward Naomi.  While sticking loyally to her mother-in-law, Ruth did not push or dominate her.  She took sensible initiatives, such as obtaining food for Naomi and herself, but she also followed Naomi's instructions. -Ruth 2:2, 22, 23; 3"1-6.

Of course, what is needed may differ greatly from one person to another. Sandra mentioned earlier, says:  "I had what I needed in my distress-very dear and loving friends who flocked around me."  Elaine, mentioned earlier, on the other hand, needed time to herself. Being helpful, therefore, means being discerning and striking a balance  between respecting another's privacy and being available to help when needed.

Next time: Support From the Family

The Watchtower,2001