Why Overcome Perfectionism?

Are you always striving hard to do your very best?  Clearly, your doing so can in many ways benefit you and those around you.  On the other hand, some have carried matters to an extreme and have become perfectionists.  What does that imply?


WELL, one meaning of the word "perfectionism" is "a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable."  You have likely encountered people having that disposition.  You can see that the extreme demands that they place on others can cause many problems, creating a climate of dissatisfaction and discouragement.  Most balanced people recognize that perfectionism is the sense of extreme and unreasonable demands in all matters of life is not truly desirable.  It is something to be overcome.  A problem, however, is that when it comes to our own attitude or disposition, it may be difficult to recognize a tendency toward such perfectionism, so it is a challenge to overcome it.

Nelson has a great deal of responsibility and many problems to solve.  He regularly analyzes statistics, and production is a priority. Perfectionism is often seen as necessary for success in a competitive job market.  Although some may appreciate Nelson's efficiency, his perfectionism causes him physical problems, such as headaches and stress.  Do you identify with Nelson?

Young people are also affected by perfectionism. As a child, Rita, from Rio de Janeiro, liked going to school.  She tried not to appear ambitious, yet she was devastated if she did not get top marks.  Rita says:  "From childhood, I compared myself with others who had plenty of time, while I was always stressed and rushing to do things.  I never felt that I had time to rest because there were always things that had to be done." 

As little girl, Maria would cry in frustration when she could not draw as well as others did.  Further, in her search for artistic perfection in music, she often became stressed and worried  instead of enjoying her playing or singing. Another Brazilian girl, Tania, who tried to be discreet and avoid competition, admitted that she still set standards for herself that were too high, both in school and at home.  She felt that unless her work was perfect, people would not like her very much.  Moreover, Tania at times expected too much of others, which made her feel disappointed and sad.

Although competence, diligence, and a sense of personal satisfaction are important, negative feelings, such as a fear of failure, may result from setting unreachable goals. Parents or others may set a standard of perfection in schoolwork or in sports that young people find hard to live up to.  For example, Ricardo's mother had high expectations for him, wanting him to become a doctor, play the piano, and speak several languages.  Can you see that this approach, carried too far, invites problems or disappointments?

Next time: Why Avoid Perfectionism?

The Watchtower, 2000