THE BIBLE'S VIEWPOINT/How to Make a Marriage Succeed

"He who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, 'for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh' . . .Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart." - Jesus Christ, as recorded at Matthew 19:4-6.


Five Keys to Success in Marriage

(1) Recognize marriage as a sacred union. 
As shown by the words of Jesus quoted above, both he and the Creator, Jehovah god, view marriage as a  sacred union.  This is underscored by God's firm counsel to certain men of old who divorced their wives in order to marry younger women. "You have broken you promise to the wife you married when you were young," God said.  "She was your partner, and you have broken your promise to her, although you promised before God that you would be faithful to her." Then Jehovah made this powerful statement:  "I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife." (Malachi 2:14-16, Today's English Version)  Clearly, God does not take a casual view of marriage; he takes note of how husbands and wives treat each other. 

(2) Be a responsible husband. 

When important family matters arise, someone has to make the final decision. The Bible assigns that role to the husband. "A husband is head of his wife," says Ephesians 5:23. But headship is no license for tyranny.  The husband should remember that he is "one flesh" with his wife, and he should honor her and consult her on family matters.  (1 Peter 3:7) The Bible's admonition is that "husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies." -Ephesians  5:28. 

(3) Be a supportive wife.

The Bible describes a wife as "a complement" of her husband.  (Genesis 2:18) As such, she supplies important qualities to the marriage. And as his complement, she does not compete with him but gives him loving support, thus promoting peace within the family. "Let wives be in subjection to their husbands," says Ephesians 5:22.  What, though, if she disagrees with him on a matter?  In that case, she should feel free to express her opinions in a dignified respectful manner, just as  she would like her husband to speak to her. 

(4) Be realistic, and expect challenges.

A marriage may be put to the test by thoughtless or unkind words, financial problems, serious illness, or the stresses of raising children. Hence, the Bible frankly states that those who marry "will have tribulation in their flesh." (1 Corinthians 7:28) But tribulations, or trials, need not weaken a marriage.  In fact, when two people are in love with each other and possess godly wisdom, they have the means to resolve potentially divisive issues. Do you have the necessary wisdom to deal with problems that may arise in your family?  "If any one of you is lacking in wisdom," the Bible says, "let him keep on asking God, for he gives generously to all and without reproaching." -James 1:5.

(5) Be faithful to each other.

Few things do more to undermine a marriage than fornication, or sex outside the marriage, which is the only basis for divorce that is acceptable to God.  (Matthew 19:9) The Bible says:  "Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers." (Hebrews 13:4)  What can couples do to help them avoid being tempted to look outside the marriage for sexual satisfaction?  The Bible states:  "Let the husband render to his wife her due; but let wife also do likewise to her husband." - 1 Corinthians 7:3, 4. 

Some might consider these five points quaint or old-fashioned.  But the results say otherwise. In fact, they are similar to the results that come to a person who looks  to God for guidance in all respects of life:  "He will certainly become like a tree planted by streams of water, that gives its own fruit in its season and the foliage of which does not wither, and everything he does will succeed." (Psalm 1:2, 3)  "Everything" includes success in marriage. 

Next time: How I Found the Answer to Injustice

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2011