Young People Ask . .How Can I Stop Trying to Be Perfect?

Banish Self-Defeating Thoughts!

Admittedly, it may not be easy to handle doing a less-than-perfect job. Critical, negative thoughts may still flood your mind. What can you do? The fact is that dwelling on negative thoughts is destructive, self-defeating.  So make a conscious effort to push from your mind unreasonable thoughts about yourself.  Have a  sense of humor regarding your mistakes.  After all, there is "a time to laugh." (Ecclesiastes 3:4)  Remember, too, that Jehovah does not approve of abusive speech-even when we direct it to ourselves. -Ephesians 4:31. 

Instead of constantly berating yourself, apply the words of Proverbs 11:17:  "A man of loving-kindness is dealing rewardingly with his own soul, but the cruel person is bringing ostracism upon his own organism."  So consider this question. Has having excessively high standards made it easy for you to have friends?  Probably not. Maybe you've even rejected people because they were not perfect.  So, what can you do? 

Apply the Bible's command:  "Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another." (Colossians 3:13)  Yes, by being more reasonable in what you expect of others, you will make it more possible to enjoy friendships! 

'Why,' you may wonder, 'would people tend to avoid me because of my perfectionism?'  Well, consider  the effect that voicing high expectations for yourself may have on others.  The book When Perfect Isn't Good Enough explains:  "Complaining excessively  whenever you get less than an A on an exam may be insult to friends who have to struggle to get a B or C."  So  work on being less negative  and self-centered. People will find you much more pleasant to be around.  

Young Carly sums the matter up when she says:  "I have to basically tell my perfectionism to back off."  How can you do that? Meditate on God's view of matters. If you still have difficulty managing your thinking in this regard, talk to your parents or to a mature Christian in your congregation.  Go to God in prayer and ask for his help in changing your thinking. Prayer can be a powerful tool in fighting perfectionism.  - Psalm 55:22; Philippians 4:6, 7. 

Always remember that Jehovah does not demand perfection; he simply expects us to be faithful to him. (1 Corinthians 4:2) If you are striving to be faithful, you can truly be happy with who you are-even though you are not perfect. 

Next time: Work to Enhance the Spiritual Paradise

From the Awake! magazine, 2003