Young People Ask . .How Can I Stop Trying to Be Perfect?

Revise Expectations

In the meantime, then, it is unrealistic to think that you can be absolutely perfect. In fact, you should expect to make mistakes from time to time. (Romans 3:23) Why, sometimes we are not even aware of our own mistakes!  Psalm 19:12 says:  " No one can see his own errors."   (Today's English Version)  A youth named Matthew puts it this way:  "You're not perfect-no one on Earth is. If you expect  perfection of yourself, you're never going to be happy. . . .It's not realistic, it's not possible." 

With that thought in mind, why not work on revising some of your expectations? For example, are you wearing yourself out trying to be the very best at something? The Bible indicates that such an exhausting effort can, in effect, prove to be "vanity and a striving after the wind." (Ecclesiastes 4:4)  The fact is, few ever succeed at being the best. And even when someone does, it's usually just a matter of time before another comes along who is better. 

The apostle Paul advised: "I tell everyone there among you not to think more of himself than it is necessary to think; but to think so as to have a sound mind." (Romans 12:3)  Be realistic!  Revise your expectations to reflect both your abilities and your limitations. Seek excellence, but don't seek perfection. Set a specific but attainable goal. 

For example, Paul encouraged Timothy to become "a workman with nothing to be ashamed of, handling the word of truth aright." (2 Timothy 2:15) Yes, Paul encouraged excellence, but not perfection. In a similar way, set reasonable goals for yourself. And if you're not sure what "reasonable"  is, talk things over with your parents or another adult whom you trust. 

Some even recommend that you deliberately try doing some things that you are not good at, such as taking up a new sport or playing a musical instrument. True, as you learn something new, you're bound to make a lot of mistakes.  But  that is not entirely  a bad thing. Perhaps it will help you to see that making mistakes is simply part of the learning process.

Whatever you seek to accomplish-whether it's writing a school report or mastering a piano sonata-consider another piece of advice from the apostle Paul:  "Do not loiter at your business." (Romans 12:11)  Yes, do not put things off, or procrastinate, simply because you're afraid to fail. 

One youth made a practice of putting off school projects by using the excuse that she was "organizing herself."  While personal organization may be a good thing, be careful  that it is not an excuse for procrastination.  This girl came to realize that "faced with the choice between turning in a  school paper that doesn't completely satisfy you and not turning one in at all, the better choice is  always turn one in." 

Next time: Young People Ask . .How Can I Stop Trying to Be Perfect? - Banish Self-Defeating Thoughts! 

From the Awake! magazine, 2003