Breaking Free From BULLYING

'Bullying is learned behavior, and anything learned can be unlearned.' -Dr. C. Sally Murphy.

THE bully and the victim of bullying both need help. The bully needs to learn to relate to others without abusing power.  And the victim of bullying needs some practical tools to cope with the problem.  

Often, the bully does not know how to relate to others and fails to understand the feelings of those he intimidates. He needs to be monitored and taught to communicate properly.  The book Take Action Against Bullying says:  "Unless new behaviors are learned and adopted, bullies continue to bully throughout their lifetime. They bully their mates, their children, and possibly their underlings in their place of business."

Help Not to Bully

Training children early in life to be empathetic can help prevent them from turning into bullies. Educators in some lands are working with a new style of education called empathy training.  The objective is to teach students as young as five years old to understand the feelings of others an to treat people with kindness.  While there is yet little statistical data on the long term impact, early results suggest that those who have gone through the  training are less aggressive than those who have not. 

As a parent, you should not leave such training entirely to some school program. If you do not want your child to become a bully, you need to teach him by word and example how to treat others with respect and dignity. What can assist you?  Likely,you have readily available an excellent but under appreciated source of training in this regard - God's Word, the Bible.  How can it help?

For one thing, it teaches clearly how God feels about bullying. He despises it!  The Bible says of God:  "Anyone loving violence His soul certainly hates." (Psalm 11:5)  Furthermore, God is not blind to what is going on.  The Bible records  his feelings of regret, or sorrow,  in connection with the Israelites when they suffered "Because their oppressors and those were shoving them around."  (Judges 2:18) On many occasions God punished those who abused their power and bullied the weak and defenseless.  -Exodus 22:22-24.

The Bible also contains what maybe the most famous instruction ever given regarding how to show empathy.  Jesus stated  "Do unto others as you would want them to do for you. (Matthew 7:12)  Teaching children to embrace that Golden Rule-to love it and live by it-is not easy;it takes a good example, persistence, and hard work, particularly since young children are naturally self-centered. But all such effort is worthwhile. If your children learn to be kind and empathetic, they will find the very thought of bullying repulsive.

Next time: Breaking Free From BULLING - Help for the Victims 

From the jw.org publications