KEYS TO FAMILY HAPPINESS- How Children Change a Marriage

CHALLENGE 1: Life suddenly revolves around the child.

A new baby consumes its mother's time and thoughts.  She may feel a deep sense of emotional fulfillment in caring for her baby.  Meanwhile, her husband might feel neglected.  Manuel, who lives in Brazil, says:  "My wife's shift of focus from me to our baby was the most difficult change for me to accept.  Before, it was just the two of us, and then all of a sudden, it was just my wife and  the baby."  How can you cope with the upheaval?

*A key to success: Be patient.  "Love is long-suffering and kind."  says the  Bible.  Love "does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked."  (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5) When a new baby arrives, what can both husband and wife do to apply that counsel?

A wise husband proves to his love for his wife by educating  himself about the physical and mental impact childbirth has on a woman.  If he does so, he will realize why his wife may be prone to sudden mood changes. Adam, who lives in France and is the father of an 11-month-old girl, admits:  "My wife's mood changes are sometimes difficult to deal with.  But I try to remember that her frustration is not really directed at me personally.  Rather, it is a response to the unfamiliar stresses of our new situation.

Does your wife sometimes misunderstand your attempts to help out?  If so,  do  not quickly become offended.  (Ecclesiastes 7:9) Instead, patiently look for her best interests, not your own, and you will avoid getting upset. -Proverbs 14:29.

On the other hand, a discerning wife will try to encourage her husband in his new role.  She will involve him in child care, patiently showing him how to change diapers or prepare feeding bottles-even though he may seem clumsy at first.

Ellen, a 26-year-old mother, recognized that she needed to make some adjustments in the way she treated her husband.  "I had to become less possessive of the baby," she says.  "And I had to remind myself not to be too picky when my husband tried to apply my suggestions about caring for the infant."

TRY THIS: Wives, if your husband performs some child-care in a different way  than you do, resist the urge to criticize him or to redo the job.  Commend him for what he does adequately, and you will build his confidence and encourage him to give you the support you need.  Husbands, cut back on nonessential activities so that you will have as much time as possible to help your wife, especially during the first few months after the baby is born.

Next time: CHALLENGE 2: Your relationship as a couple weakens.

Watchtower, 2011