Single Parents Multiple Challenges

"I deal with a lot of emotions. I spend nights in the bedroom crying. It's kind of hard." -JANET, A SINGLE MOTHER OF THREE

THE routes to a single parenthood are many.  Some families are left with a single parent because of war, natural disaster, or disease.

Parents of some children decide not to marry each other. For example, in Sweden almost half the children are born out of wedlock. Divorce also creates single-parent households.  Research suggests that over 50% of American children will live in a a single-parent household for some period of their childhood.

Understanding the Challenges

Mothers who have recently become widows have  a special burden  to carry.  They must assume responsibility for their household whole still grieving for their lost mate.  Their adjustment to this role may take months, even years, as they cope with economic challenges and the responsibility  of consoling their children.  The widowed mother may find it extremely  difficult to assume these added responsibilities.  This may leave a child without adequate   parenting at  a time when he or she desperately needs attention and reassurance.

Single mothers who have not married their child's father are often very young and inexperienced.  They may  not have had  an opportunity to complete their formal education.  Without adequate job skills, they are more likely to be poor and employed in low-paying jobs. Without the support of relatives, such as their parents, they will also have the added responsibility of providing  suitable day care for their child.  The unmarried  mother may also be struggling with emotion burdens, such as feelings of shame and loneliness. Some may fear that the presence of  a child will preclude their  ever finding a suitable mate.  As children in such households  grow older, they too may be plagued by unanswered questions about their background and by a need to be recognized  by the absent parent. 

Similarly,  parents going through divorce are under enormous stress. Some parents may feel anger as a result of the divorce. Feelings of low self-worth and a deep feeling of rejection may also rob  some parents of their ability to extend themselves  emotionally to their children. Mothers who need to enter the job market for the first time may have difficulty coping with the responsibility of managing a household. They may feel that they have neither the time nor the energy for  the special needs of the children, who themselves have to cope with dramatic changes after the  divorce of their parents.

Next time: Single Parents Multiple Challenges - Unique Challenges of Divorced Parents 

From the jw.org publications