Mother's Concern

Mother's concern was understandable.  The desire to bear children is fundamental and common to all cultures and times. Childbearing rouses profound feelings of joy and hope.  "The fruitage of the belly is a reward," says the Bible. Yes, the ability to bear children is a precious gift from our loving creator. -Psalm 127:3.

In many societies, married couples face immense social pressure to bear children. For example, in Nigeria, where the average woman gives birth to six children, it is common at weddings to hear well-wishers say to the newlyweds:  "Nine months from now, we expect to hear a baby crying in your house." As a wedding present, the bride and groom may receive a baby crib. Mothers-in-law closely watch the calendar.  If the bride is not pregnant within a year or so, they probe to see if there is any problem that they can help to solve. 

to many mothers the reason that a couple gets married is to bear children and to carry on the family line. Fola's mother said to her:  "Why did you get married  if you are not going to have children?  Someone gave birth to you;  you should give birth to your own children. 

Apart from that, there are practical matters to consider. In many African nations, there are few governmental provisions to care for the elderly. Customarily, it is the children who look after their aged parents, just as those parents looked after them when they were so young. So Fola's mother reasoned that unless her children had children of their own, they would, in later years, risk being lonely, unwanted, and impoverished, having no one to bury them when they die. 

Throughout much of Africa, it is considered a curse not to have children.  In some areas, women are even expected to prove their ability to bear children before marriage. Many women who are not able to conceive will frantically seek medicines and cures to try to reverse their barren condition. 

In view of these attitudes, married couples who deliberately refrain from having children are thought to be robbing themselves  of something good.  They are often viewed as odd, shortsighted, and pitiable. 

Next time: Joy and Responsibility

From the Watchtower magazine, 2000