How to Build a Successful Marriage

Be quick to forgive

"Let the sun not set with you in a provoked state." (Ephesians 4:20) In marriage you cannot escape your own faults or those of your spouse. Consequently, the willingness to forgive is essential. Clive and Monica, in South Africa, married 41 years ago, have found this Biblical advice very helpful.  "We try to put into practice the principle found at Ephesians 4:26," explains Clive, "and we try to be quick to forgive each other knowing  that it pleases God. Then we feel good about the situation, go to bed with a clean conscience, and sleep well."

An ancient proverb wisely observes:  "It is beauty . . . to pass over transgression." (Proverbs 19:11) Annette, mentioned previously, agrees, adding: "A good marriage is impossible without forgiveness."  She explains why.  "Otherwise resentment and mistrust grow, and that is poison for a marriage. Through forgiveness, the bonds of your marriage are strengthened and you grow closer together." 

If you have hurt your spouse's feelings, do not simply conclude that he or she will just get over it. Making peace often requires that you do one of the more difficult things  marriage mates need to do. Admit that you have made a mistake. Nevertheless, find a way humbly to say something like this: "I'm sorry, Dear, I made a mistake." A humble apology will win you respect, help build a trusting relationship, and enhance your own peace of mind. 

Next time: How to Build a Successful Marriage - Stay committed to your mate and to your marriage

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2008