How to Build a Successful Marriage

Make a habit of expressing appreciation

"Show yourselves thankful." (Colossians 3:15) Strong marriages are characterized by husbands and wives who make sure their spouse feels appreciated. However, in the day to day routine of married life, some marriage mates neglect this vital aspect of communication and merely  assume that their spouse feels valued.  (Note: They also need to hear that you love them)  "Most couples,"  states Dr. Ellen Wachtel,  "could give each other that feeling of appreciation if they simply thought to do so." 

Wives in particular need their husband's loving reassurance and expressions of appreciation . You husbands can do much to improve the health of your wife, as well as yourself, by making a point of commenting appreciatively on your wife's positive actions and qualities.

Both verbal and nonverbal reassurances are essential. When your husbands give your wife a gentle kiss, a kind touch, and a warm smile, it says more than just "I love you." It reassures her that she is special to you and that you need her.  Give her a phone call or an electronic message and tell her, "I'm missing you" or "How is your day going?" If since your courting days , you have begun to neglect making such expressions, it is a practice well worth reviving.  Continue to learn what touches your spouse's heart. 

The words of the mother of King Lemuel of ancient Israel are so appropriate:  "Her husband praises her, 'Many women have done well, but you surpass them all.' " (Proverbs 31:1, 28, 29, Tanakh-The Holy Scriptures) When was the last time you praised your wife? Or, wife, you your husband? 

Next time: How to Build a Successful Marriage - Be quick to forgive

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2008