How to Build a Successful Marriage

Know when to keep quiet

"Be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath." (James 1:19)  Good communication is without a doubt one of the most important signposts on the road to marital happiness. Why, then, does the Bible say that there is "a time to keep quiet"?  (Ecclesiastes 3:7) This can be a time to do active, purposeful listening-a vital part of communication that involves finding out what your marriage made really feels and why he or she feels that way.  

Listen with empathy

"Rejoice with people who rejoice, weep; with people who weep." (Romans 12:15) Empathy is indispensable to purposeful communication because it enables you to feel your spouse's deepest emotions. It can help create and atmosphere in which each one opinions and feelings are treated with respect and dignity.  "When we talk about our problems," confides Nella, in Brazil, married for 32 years,  "I always listen very carefully so I can understand Manuel's thoughts and feelings."  When your spouse is speaking, it is your "time to keep quiet" and to listen with empathy. 

Next time: How to Build a Successful Marriage - Make a habit of expressing appreciation

From the AWAKE! magazine, 2008