Raising Responsible Children -"Set the Pattern" for Your Child

Close to the end of his life, Jesus said to his disciples:  "I set the pattern for you, that just as I did to you, you should do also." (John 13:15)  Likewise, parents need to explain and show by example exactly what it means to be responsible.

Ask yourself: "Do I frequently speak about taking care of  my own responsibilities in a positive way? Do I talk about the satisfaction that I receive from working hard for others?  Or do I often complain and compare myself to those who seem to have an easier life?" 

Granted, nobody is perfect. All of us feel overburdened at times. But your example is probably  the most powerful  way to help your children to see the importance and value of responsible behavior.

TRY THIS:  If possible, occasionally take your child with you to work and show him or her what you do to support the family financially.  Engage n volunteer work where  your child can accompany you. Afterward, discuss the pleasure you received from caring for that responsibility. - ACTS 20:35.

Next time: Raising Responsible Children - Have Reasonable Expectations

From the jw.org publications

Raising Responsible Children

George:  "Every evening followed the same routine.  Michael, my four-year-old son, left his toys scattered all around the house.  I tried to  make him clean up before putting him to bed.  But Michael would become hysterical, screaming and carrying on.  Sometimes I get so frustrated that I yelled at him, but that only made us both feel terrible. I wanted bedtime  to be a happy time.  So I gave up trying and just cleaned up the mess myself." 

Emily:  "The trouble began when my 13-year-old daughter, Jenny, had difficulty understanding the teacher's requirements for a school assignment.  Jenny cried for an hour when she came home from school. I encouraged her to ask for help at school, but Jenny insisted that her teacher was mean, so she didn't dare speak to her. I was tempted to march right down to the school and tell the teacher exactly what I thought of her. I felt that no one had the right to make my baby so unhappy. 

CAN you relate to George and Emily?  Like those parents, many find it difficult to protect their children. However, the situations described above actually presented an opportunity for those parents to teach their child   a valuable lesson in responsibility.  Of course, the lesson a 4-year-old and a 13-year old can learn  will be different.

The truth is, though. you will not always be there to shield your child from life's challenges.  Eventually,  a child will leave his father and mother and "carry his own load" of responsibility.  (Galatians 6:5; Genesis 2:24)   To enable childr3n  to fend for themselves, parents must stay focused on the goal of teaching them  to become unselfish, caring, responsible adults. That is no easy task! 

Fortunately, parents have a wonderful role in Jesus and the way he dealt with  his disciples.  Jesus was not a literal parent.  But his goal in choosing and training his disciples was to empower them to carry on the work, eve after he was gone.  (Matthew 28:19, 20)  What Jesus accomplished is similar to the goal each parent hopes to reach in raising responsible  children. Consider just three aspects of the example Jesus set for parents.

Next time: Raising Responsible Children- "Set the Pattern" for Your Child

From the jw.org publications

How to Follow Christ

Why should you share the good news?

Jesus taught his followers  to share the good news.  He told the apostles: "As you go preach, saying, 'The Kingdom of the heavens has drawn near." (Matthew 10:7)  Jesus' followers have a  message of great value. Jesus prayed:  "This means everlasting life, their taking in knowledge of you, the only true God." - JOHN 1 7:3.

Jesus foretold a work in which millions of his followers would share. He said:  "This good news of the kingdom will be preached in all the inhabited earth for a witness to all the nations." (Matthew 24:14) If you have learned about God's Kingdom and believe what the Bible says, you will doubtless enjoy sharing what you know.  Many followers of Jesus start by speaking about God's Kingdom to their relatives. - JOHN 1:40, 41. 

Why should you be baptized? 

When Jesus was baptized in the river Jordan, he evidently said prayer:  'I am come to do your will, O God.' ( Hebrews 10:7) If you want to do God's will,  you too should be baptized.  Jesus commanded:  "Make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing the. - MATTHEW 28:19.

What responsibilities  and benefits come with being baptized? Baptized followers of Jesus serve God with their whole soul.  Jesus quoted God's Law, which says:  "You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul." (Matthew 22:37)  He also said:  "If anyone wants  to come after me, let  him disown himself." (Matthew 1624) Baptism symbolizes a person's decision to own himself or herself and to be owned instead by God. Those in this special relationship can ask God to give them a clean conscience. - 1 PETER 3:21.

Next time: Raising Responsible Children

From the jw.org publications

How to Follow Christ - What We Learned From Jesus

When people put their faith in Jesus, he would often say:  "Be my follower." ( Matthew 9:9,; 19:21) What is involved in being Jesus follower, that is, in being Christian?  Consider the answers to three key questions. 

How should you treat others?

A disciple of Jesus should follow the instructions on how to treat others.  For example, Jesus said: "All things, therefore, do unto others as you would want them to do unto you."  What if someone offends you?  Jesus said:  "Be about setting matters quickly with the one complaining against you."  He also told his followers:  "If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will will your Father forgive your trespasses." - MATTHEW 5:25; 6:15; 7:12.

To married individuals, Jesus gave this counsel: "You heard that it was said, 'You must not commit adultery.'  But I say to you that everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." A true Christian  allows Jesus' teaching to affect both his mind and his heart.

True Christian sacrifice their own comfort to help others.  Jesus was self-sacrificing. For example, during an exhausting preaching trip, Jesus and his apostles had no free time even to eat a meal!  So Jesus took them by the boat to a lonely place to rest, But people heard where he was going and ran ahead of him.  The Bible account says:  "On getting out, he saw a great crowd, but he was moved with pity for them, because they were as sheep without a shepherd.  And he started  to teach them many things."  (Mark 6:30-34)  You can imitate Jesus by doing what God asks of  you even though you may encounter difficulties.

Next time: How to Follow Christ - Why Should You Share the Good News?

From the jw.org publications

Stand Up for Your Convictions! / For Young People

Instructions:  Do this in quiet surroundings. As you read the Scriptures, imagine that you are part of the event. Visualize the scene. Hear the voices. Feel the emotions of the characters. Let the account come to life. 

Main characters: Jeremiah, Ebed-melech, King Zedekiah

Summary:  Jeremiah faces severe opposition when he proclaims God's message that the people of Judah should surrender to the Chaldeans.

 1 Analyze the Scene. -Read Jeremiah 38:1-5.

How do you think Jeremiah felt as he spoke to the people of Judah?

.....

What emotion do sense in Jeremiah's voice as he proclaimed Jehovah's warning?

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Dig Deeper.

What convictions must Jeremiah have had that enabled him to make such a bold proclamation?

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2 Analyze the Scene. -Read Jeremiah 38:6-13. 

Using your imagination, describe the cistern-it's width, depth, and odor. 

...

What thoughts might Jeremiah have had when he "began to sink down into the mire"?  (Reread verse 6.)

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Dig Deeper.

Using research materials at your disposal, find out something you  did not previously know about the cisterns used in Bible times. 

....

Why was Zedekiah so easily influenced, first by the princes and later by Ebed-melech? (Reread  verses 5 and 10.) What does this say about his strength of character?  His lack of conviction?

....

Which individuals in this story displayed strong convictions, and which one did not? Why do you so answer?

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3 Apply What You Learned. Write Down What You Learned About . . .

Courage

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Conviction

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Jehovah's protection for those who fearlessly obey him.

.... 

When under pressure, how can having conviction affect your ability to do what is right? 

4 What Aspect of This Account Is Most Meaningful To You, and Why?

....

IF YOU DON'T HAVE A  BIBLE, ASK JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES FOR ONE, OR READ IT ONLINE AT WWW.WATCHTOWER.ORG

Next time: How to Follow Christ/ What We Learned From Jesus

From the jw.org publications

Widows and Widowers -What Do They Need? -How Can You Help?

 "Life Remains a Precious Gift"

To be effective helpers, friends and family need to be realistic. For months, even years,  the progress and hope of the widowed person may seesaw between periods of relative serenity and bouts of depression. Certainly, 'the plague of his or her own heart' can be severe. - 1 KINGS 8:38, 39.

Next time: Stand Up for Your Convictions!- For Young People

From the jw.org publications

Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need? - Conclusion of How Can You Help? Conclusion of A TIme to Heal

By expressing conflicting feelings, such as regrets, guilt, or anger, the bereaved person takes a crucial step toward acceptance of his or her circumstances. In King David's case, it was the pouring out of his heart before the best of confidants.  Jehovah God, that allowed him  to find the strength to 'get up'  and accept the sad reality of the death of his young son. -2 SAMUEL 12:19-23.

Even though it is difficult at first, in time a widowed person needs to get back into a daily routine. Can you include him or her in some of your daily activities, such as shopping or an evening stroll?  Can you ask your friend for help with some task?  That is another way to draw individuals out of their isolation.  For example, could she look after the children or share the secrets  of a food recipe?  Could he help with some repairs around the house?  In addition to providing stimulating activity,such as requests reassure the person that he has a  purpose in life.

By opening up to others once more, the bereaved person may progressively  recover a taste for life and may even be able to set new goals.  This was the case with Yonette, a 44-year-old widow and mother.  She recalls: "Getting back to a regular routine was so difficult! Performing daily chores, managing my finances, and caring for three kids was really hard."  However, with time. Yonette learned to organized herself and to communicate better with her children. She also leaned to accept the support of close friends. 

Next time: Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need? -How Can You Help?

From the jw.org publications

Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need> - How Can You Help?

A Time to Heal

In order to start living a fuller life again, widowed individuals need to find the right balance between preserving the memory of their loved one and caring for their own present needs. Wise King Solomon acknowledged that there is "a time to weep."  But he also said that there needs to be A time to heal." -ECCLESIASTES 3:3, 4.

Paul, mentioned above, illustrates how difficult it is to avoid living in the past.  "My wife and I," he says,  "were like two young trees that grow up intertwined. But then one tree died and was removed, leaving the other appearing deformed, It felt strange just to be on my own."  Out of loyalty to a deceased mate, some refuse to let go of their past. Others worry that enjoying themselves might amount to a betrayal, so they refuse to go out or to meet other people. How is it possible to help widows and widowers gently to heal-to move on with their lives? 

 A first step could be to help the person express his feeling. Herbert, who has been a widower for six years, says:  "Especially do I treasure the times when visitors sat quietly and listened while I reminisced or verbalized something  that was occupying my mind at the moment. I am sure that I was not always the best of company, but I appreciated the empathy."  Paul was  particularly touched by the actions of a mature friend who regularly took the initiative to ask him how he was coping emotionally.  Paul says,  "I appreciated his sincere and mild approach ad often told him how I was feeling at the time. - PROVERBS  18:24. 

Next time: Widows and Widowers -What Do They Need? -How Can You Help?

From the jw.org publications

Widows and Widowers -What Do They Need? - How Can You Help?

When Empathy Is Really Appreciated

Helen found that it was when the majority of her relatives had returned to their daily routines that she most needed emotional support.  "Friends and family are there for you in the beginning," she says, "but then their lives go back to normal.   Your life, however, doesn't."  Being conscious of that reality, true friends will make themselves available and provide ongoing support.

Perhaps a widow or widower may particularly need company on anniversaries, such as a wedding anniversary or the date of a mate's death. Eileen, mentioned earlier, says that her adult son makes up for the emptiness she experiences on her wedding anniversary.  "Every year," she says,  "my son Kevin takes me out for the day. I have lunch with him, and it has just been something between mum and son.  "Why not take note of these most difficult periods for a family member or a friend who is a widow or a widower?  You could then arrange for yourself  or others to be with that person during such a difficult day. - PROVERBS 17:17.

Some have found that those who have lost a mate themselves can be of comfort. Annie, who has been a widow for eight years, says of her association with another widow, "Her determination made a strong impression on me and encouraged me to keep moving forward."

Yes, after overcoming the initial stages of grief, widows and widowers can become a source of inspiration and hope for others. Two widows mentioned in the Bible,the young woman Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi, benefited from the support they gave to each other.  That touching account describes how the mutual care these women displayed helped them overcome grief and cope with the challenging situation they faced. - RUTH 1:15-17; 3:1; 4:14, 15. 

Next time: Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need? - How Can You Help?

From the jw.org publications

Widows and WIdowers-What Do They Need? - How Can You Help?

What You Can Do

In the days following the immediate bereavement, a surviving spouse will likely welcome practical help. C0uld you prepare meals, or accommodate visiting relatives, or keep the grieving one company?

You also need to recognized that men and women may deal  with grief and loneliness differently.  For example, in some parts of the world. more  than half the widowers remarry withing 18 months following the death of a spouse-something that is rarely the case among widows.  What accounts for the difference?

Contrary to popular belief, men do not always remarry simply  to satisfy their physical or sexual needs. It is, in fact, the male tendency to confide solely in a mate that has plunged a man into profound solitude following her death.  Widows, on the other hand, are often more capable of finding emotional support. even though they sometimes are forgotten by the husband's friends. That tendency on the part of the widowers partly explains why many see remarriage too quickly. Widows may thus be better equipped to handle the pangs of loneliness.

Whether your friend or relative is a man, what can you do to lighten the burden of loneliness?  Helen, a 49-year-old widow, says,  "Many have good intentions, but they don't take the initiative. They will often say. 'If there is anything I can do, let me know.' But I appreciated it when some just said, I;m going shopping. How about coming along?'"  Paul, whose wife died of Cancer, explains why he appreciated being invited out. "At times," he says, "you do not feel like interacting with people or talking about your situation. But after an evening with fellowship, you feel much better; you do not feel so alone. You know that people truly care, and that makes things easier."

Next time:  Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need? 

From the jw.org publications

Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need - How Can You Help?

Things to Avoid

Friends and family might be distressed by the suffering of their loved one and with good intentions try to limit the duration of the grieving process. However, one researcher who conducted a survey  of  700 widows and widowers  wrote:  "There is n 'right' length of time to grieve."  Therefore, instead of trying to stem the flow of tears, allow time  for the surviving spouse to express his or her grief. - GENESIS 37:34, 35; JOB 10:1.

While it might be appropriate for you to help with formalities related to the funeral arrangements, do not assume that you must take complete control of all matters  that have to do with the funeral. Paul, a 49-year-old widowers, says:  "I think it was nice that those who offered help in a real and practical way still allowed me to retain control of the arrangements. It meant a lot to me to have everything go well as my wife's memorial service. I felt that it was the last thing I could do to honor her." 

Of course, some help is no doubt  appreciated. Eileen, a 68-year-old widow, says:  "Arranging the funeral and sorting out the paperwork was hard, since I could not think straight.  Fortunately, my son and daughter-in-law really helped me."

Also, do not be afraid to talk about the dead loved one. Beryl, mentioned earlier, says:  "My friends were extremely supportive. However, I did find that many avoided speaking about my husband, John. It was as if he never existed, and I found that to be bit hurtful."  In time, widows and widowers may wish to speak  openly about their mate. Do you remember a kind gesture or an amusing story involving  the deceased one? Then, offer to tell it to the surviving mate; do not allow fear to hold you back. If you sense that your comment  would be welcome, say what you appreciated about him or what you miss about her.  This may help the grieving mates to  appreciate that their grief is shared. - ROMANS 12:15.

When offering your support, avoid overwhelming the grieving one with advice. Refrain from pressuring the bereaved mate to make decisions too quickly.  "Instead, use discernment and ask yourself<  'What positive steps can I take to help a friend or a relative through one of the most difficult  transitions in life?

Next time: Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need? -How Can You Help?

From the jw.org publications

Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need? - How Can You Help?

Note: I don't know how the last blog became red, I typed it in black with only the Bible verses in bold and what Jehovah/Jesus said in bold red. It was acting up yesterday and I had redone it twice and it was black ink when I published it.  So forgive me, it was not me.

In the dimly lit kitchen of her tiny apartment, Jeanne mechanically sets the table. After all, she must eat something. Suddenly her eyes fix on the two plates in front of her . . . and she bursts into tears.  Out of habit, she has set the table for two! It has been two years since her dear husband passed away.

FOR those who have not had the experience, it is impossible to understand the depth of the pain caused by the loss of  a mate. In fact, the human mind only gradually  accepts the terrible reality.  Beverly 72, could not accept the sudden death of her husband.  "It felt unreal," she says.  "I could not believe that he was not going to walk through the  door again.

Following an amputation, individuals sometimes "feel" their lost limb. In a similar way, grief stricken mates sometimes "see" their loved one om a crowd or catch themselves making a casual comment to someone who is not  there anymore!

Friends and family often do not know how to react in the face of such suffering. Do you know someone who has experienced the death of a mate?  How, then, can you provide support? What should you know in order to help widows and widowers work through their grief? How can you help the bereaved gradually to regain a taste for life?

Next time: Widows and Widowers -What Do They Need?/How Can You Help?

From the jw.org publications

What Is God Doing? - Conclusion of The Damaging Effects of Sin

Restoration Work Continues

Before his ascension to heaven, Jesus commanded his followers:  "Make disciples  of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the  name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit . . . And look!I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things." - MATTHEW 28:19, 20. 

So the restoration of  mankind would not end with Jesus' death. It would continue all the way to "the conclusion of the system of things"-the time when God's Kingdom would begin to take control of the earth. That time is here now.  We know this because the sign that Jesus foretold regarding "the conclusion of the system of things" is now being fulfilled. - MATTHEW 24:3-14; LUKE 21:7-11; 2 TIMOTHY 3:1-5.

Today, in the lands, Jehovah's Witnesses obey Jesus' commands to preach the good news of God's Kingdom. In fact, the blogs you are reading is designed to help you learn more about that Kingdom and what it will accomplish. On page 2 of each issue of The Watchtower, you will find this comment:  "This magazine . . . comforts people with the good news that God's Kingdom, which is a real government in heaven, will soon bring an end to all wickedness and transform the earth into  a paradise. It promotes faith in Jesus Christ, who died so that we might gain everlasting life and who is now ruling as King of God's Kingdom.

Granted, right now you might still hear of terrorist attacks or natural disasters, or you may experience a personal tragedy.  But a study of the Bible will convince you that God has not left mankind. On the contrary, "He is not far from each of us." (Acts 17:27) And his promise to restore what our original parents lost will succeed. - ISAIAH 55:11.

Next time: Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need? How Can You Help?

From the jw.org publications

What Is God Doing?-Continue with The Damaging Effects of Sin

A builder is chosen who will follow the blueprints and perform the restoration.

Jesus was the promised Messiah who would follow the pattern that was set by the Israelites' sacrifices and would give his own life to redeem mankind.  Indeed, John the Baptizer called Jesus "the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world."  (John 1:29)  Jesus willing accepted the assignment. He stated:  "I have come down from heaven to do, not my will, but the will of him that sent me." -JOHN 6:38.

God's will for Jesus included that he not only would "give his soul a ransom in exchange for many"  but also would make a covenant  with his followers for a  Kingdom.  (Matthew 20:28; Luke  22:29, 30)  That Kingdom is the means by which God will accomplish his purpose for mankind.  The message about God's Kingdom is called "good news" because it explains that God has set up his government in heaven to take control of earth's  affairs! - MATTHEW 24:14; DANIEL 2:44. 

Next time: What Is God Doing? Conclusion of The Damaging Effects of Sin

From the jw.org publications

What Is God Doing? - Continue with The Damaging Effects of Sin

1 After inspecting a damaged house, the owner must decide whether to restore it or to demolish it.

After the rebellion in Eden, Jehovah God announced his purpose to restore mankind. He said to the unseen spirit who behind the rebellion: "I shall put enmity between you and the woman and between your seed and her seed. He will bruise you in the head and you will bruise him in the heel." - GENESIS 3:15.

 With those words, Jehovah promised to destroy the instigator of the rebellion in Eden. (Romans 16:20; Revelation 12:9)  Furthermore,  Jehovah foretold that a future "seed" would redeem mankind from sin. (1 John 3:8)  Those promises put on record a vital truth: God was going to repair, not demolish, his creation. But the restoration of mankind would require time.

2 An architect prepares blueprints that clearly set forth what the restoration work will accomplish.

Jehovah  God gave the Israelites a code of laws and designed a temple at which they were to worship him.  The Bible says: "Those things are a shadow of the things to come."  ( Colossians 2:17) Like blueprints. they represented something greater. 

For example, the Israelites offered animal sacrifices to obtain forgiveness of sins.  (Leviticus 17:11)  That practice foreshadowed a greater sacrifice  that would be offered later-a sacrifice that would provide mankind with true redemption.  The very layout of the tabernacle and temple at which the Israelites worshipped prefigured the steps that the Messiah would take, from his sacrificial death to his ascension to heaven. 

Next time: What Is God Doing? - Continue with The Damaging Effects of Sin

From the jw.org publications

What Is God Doing - The Damaging Effects of Sin

Imagine a house that has been in shambles for many years.   The roof has caved in, the doors have fallen off their hinges, and the exterior has been vandalized.  At one time, this house was in good condition-but no longer.  Considering the extent   of the damage that has occurred, restoration will be no small task; it will not take place overnight.

Now consider the damage that occurred to mankind some 6,000  years ago when an unseen spirit, Satan, induced Adam and Eve to rebel against God. Prior to that event, the first human couple enjoyed perfect health  with the prospect of  living forever along with future generations of their offspring.  (Genesis 1:28)  When they sinned, however, it was as if Adam and Eve vandalized the human family yet to be born.

Do not underestimate the damaging effects of that rebellion.   The Bible/Jehovah says: "Through one man [Adam] sin entered into the world and death through sin." (Romans 5:12)   Besides bringing death, sin has impaired our relationship with our Creator and has affected us physically. mentally, and emotionally.  As a result, our condition is similar  to that of a run-down house.  The righteous man Job realistically  summed up our situation when he described  man  as being short of days and full of trouble." - JOB 14:1: Holman Standard Bible.


But did God abandon the human race  after the downfall of Adam and Eve?  Not at all!   In fact, from then until now, our heavenly Father has been working in behalf of the human family.  To appreciate better just what he is doing for us, consider three steps that are necessary for restoring a house and how each of these relates to what God has done to restore mankind.

Next time: What Is God Doing - Continue The Damaging Effects of Sin

From the jw.org publications

What Is God Doing?

For example, some might wish for God to be an executioner whose primary function is to bring swift punishment on the perpetrator of some wrong. Others view God as little more than a celestial Santa Clause, whose role is to bestow gifts-a job, a spouse, or even a winning lottery ticket.

Both of those views assume that if God  does not bring justice immediate. or if he does not grant the favor we ask, then he  must be  insensitive to our suffering and unaware of our needs.  Nothing, though, could be further from the truth! The fact is, at this very moment, Jehovah God is working to provide for the entire human family, yet not in a way that many are asking for.

What is God doing, then?  To answer that question, we need to look back to the beginning of human history when mankind's relationship with God was severely damaged-but not beyond repair.

Next time: What Is God Doing? - The Damaging Effects of Sin

From jw.org publications 

What Is God Doing?

"Why, O Jehovah, do you keep standing afar off? Why do you keep yourself hid in times of distress?" - PSALM 10:1. 

A mere glance  at news headlines confirms that we live in "times of distress." And when tragedy hits home-when we personally are affected by crime, a serious accident, or the death of a loved one-we might well ask, Does God see? Does he care? Is he even there?

 However, have you considered the possibility that our expectations of God could be based on a faulty premise? To illustrate: Imagine a small child who is upset because his father has gone to work. The child misses his father and wishes he would come home. The child feels abandoned. Throughout that day, he repeatedly asks, "Where is Daddy?"

We can readily detect the flaw in that child's thinking. After all at that very moment, his father is working to provide  for the entire family.  Could our thinking be similarly  flawed when we cry out, "Where is God"? 

Next time: What Is God Doing? Continued

From the jw.org publications

More Help for Parents

As you might have noticed, the advice found in blog is based on the Bible.  The Bible contains the best guidance for sound living for each member of the family.  It's principles can improve a person's thinking ability and sound judgment.  - PROVERBS 1:1-4.

THE BIBLE ALSO ANSWERS LIFE'S BIG QUESTIONS, SUCH AS: 

* What is the meaning of life?

* Is God to blame for our suffering?

* What happens when we die?

 We invite you to investigate the Bible for yourself to find the answers to these questions and more. Watch the video Why Study the Bible? Visit jw.org.

Next time: What Is God Doing?

From the jw.org publications

The Need for Moral Values - TRAIN NOW

Children who see their parents display honesty are more likely to resist temptaions to be dishonest when on their own.

Teach by Example

* Do my children see in my actions and words that I live by the values that our family has adopted?

* Do my spouse and I promote the same values?

* Do I justify ignoring my moral code by saying or thinking. "This is okay for adults?" 

What We Did

"We used the experience of others to show the benefits of good morals and compared the results they had with those of people who made unwise decisions.  When our children told us about a peer who made a poor choice, we discussed it with them so that they would not go down the same path." - Nichole.

"When our daughter was very young, we would tell her that she had two choices-one good and the other bad-and we outlined the consequences of each. From this, she learned to make decisions. It was a vital lesson, since life is all about choices, not matter how old we are." - Yolanda.

Next time: More Help for the Parents

From the jw.org publications

The Need for Moral Values - Continue with HOW TO TEACH MORAL VALUES

Make your moral code part of your family identity.

BIBLE PRINCIPLE:  "Keep proving what you yourselves are." - 2 CORINTHIANS 13:5. 

* Your moral code should be part of your family, so that can truthfully say: 

"In our family we do not lie."

"We do not hit others or scream at them." 

"We do  not approve of abusive speech."

Your child will see that moral values are not mere rules to follow but that they make up the family's identity.

Frequently discuss your family values with your child. Use everyday situations as object lessons. You could compare your values with those presented in the media or in school. Ask your child questions like: "What would you have done?" How would our family have handled this?" 

Reinforce moral values.

BIBLE PRINCIPLES: "Maintain a good conscience." - 1 PETER 3:16.

Comment good behavior.  If your child displays good moral values in what he does, praise him for it and explain why.  For example, you could say: "You were honest. I am proud of you."  If your child confesses to having done something wrong, sincerely commend him for his honesty before you correct him.

Correct bad behavior. Help your children accept responsibility for their actions.Children should know what they did wrong and how their conduct deviates from the family's value system.  Some parents are reluctant to make their child 'feel bad' about misbehavior. but discussing  bad behavior with your child  this way will help him develop a conscience that is sensitive to right and wrong.

Next time: The Need for Moral Values - TRAIN NOW

From the jw.org publications