Widows and Widowers-What Do They Need> - How Can You Help?

A Time to Heal

In order to start living a fuller life again, widowed individuals need to find the right balance between preserving the memory of their loved one and caring for their own present needs. Wise King Solomon acknowledged that there is "a time to weep."  But he also said that there needs to be A time to heal." -ECCLESIASTES 3:3, 4.

Paul, mentioned above, illustrates how difficult it is to avoid living in the past.  "My wife and I," he says,  "were like two young trees that grow up intertwined. But then one tree died and was removed, leaving the other appearing deformed, It felt strange just to be on my own."  Out of loyalty to a deceased mate, some refuse to let go of their past. Others worry that enjoying themselves might amount to a betrayal, so they refuse to go out or to meet other people. How is it possible to help widows and widowers gently to heal-to move on with their lives? 

 A first step could be to help the person express his feeling. Herbert, who has been a widower for six years, says:  "Especially do I treasure the times when visitors sat quietly and listened while I reminisced or verbalized something  that was occupying my mind at the moment. I am sure that I was not always the best of company, but I appreciated the empathy."  Paul was  particularly touched by the actions of a mature friend who regularly took the initiative to ask him how he was coping emotionally.  Paul says,  "I appreciated his sincere and mild approach ad often told him how I was feeling at the time. - PROVERBS  18:24. 

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