HELP FOR THE FAMILY/MARRIAGE-How to Let Go of Resentment

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Take responsibility for your resentment. 

Granted, it is easy to blame your spouse. But remember, resentment is a choice.  So is forgiveness. You can choose to follow the Bible's admonition: "Do not let the sun set while you are still angry." (Ephesians 4:26)  A spirit of forgiveness gives you an opportunity to approach your marriage problems with a better mind-set.  Bible principle: Colossians 3:13. 

Examine yourself honestly.

The Bible acknowledges that some people are  "prone to anger" and "disposed to rage." (Proverbs 29:22) Does that describe you?  Ask yourself:  'Am I inclined toward bitterness?  How easily  am I offended?  Do I tend  to make issues over minor matters?' The Bible says that "The one who keeps harping on a matter separates close friends." (Proverbs 17:9; Ecclesiastes 7:9) That can happen in  marriage as well.  So if you have a tendency toward resentment, ask yourself, 'Could I be more patient with my spouse?' -Bible principle: 1 Peter 4:8. 

Decide what is truly important.

 The Bible says that there is "a time to be silent and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:7)  Not every offense needs to be discussed; sometimes you can simply "have your say in your heart, upon your bed, and keep silent." (Psalm 4:3) When you do need to discuss a grievance, wait until your irritation has passed.  "When I feel hurt," says a wife named Beatriz, "I try to calm down first. Sometimes I later realize that the wrong was not that serious anyway, and then I'm more inclined to speak respectfully." -Bible principle:  Proverbs 19:11. 

Understand the meaning of "forgive."  

In the Bible, the word "forgive" is sometimes translated from an original-language word that suggests the idea of letting go of something. Therefore, to forgive does not require that you minimize the offense or act as if it never occurred; it could mean that you simply let it go, realizing that resentment can do more damage to your health and your marriage than the offense itself.  

Next time: Diabetes Can You Reduce Your Risk? 

From the Awake! magazine