How to Comfort Someone Who Is Grieving

Comforting Those Who Mourn

Have you ever felt helpless when someone near to you was grieving over the loss of a loved one?  Sometimes we may feel unsure of what to say or do-so we wind up saying and doing nothing.  But there are practical, helpful things that we can do.

Often, all that is needed is your presence along with a simple expression, such as "I am so sorry."  In many cultures, giving the person a hub or a gentle squeeze of the arm is an effective way to show you care. If the bereaved one wants to talk, listen sympathetically. Best of all, do something for the bereaved family, perhaps performing a chore the grieving one has not been able to care for, such as cooking a meal, caring for the children, or helping with funeral arrangements if that is desired. Such actions may speak louder than the most eloquent words.

In time, you may be moved to talk about the deceased, perhaps focusing on some good qualities or happy experiences. Such conversation  may even bring a smile to the bereaved person's face.   For example, Pam-who lost her husband, Ian, six years ago-says:  "People sometimes tell me good things that Ian did that I never knew about, and that makes my heart feel good." 

Researchers report that many bereaved people receive a lot of initial help but that their needs are soon forgotten as friends get busy with their own lives. Therefore, make a point of contacting a bereaved friend on a regular basis after the loss.  Many grieving ones deeply appreciate this opportunity to relieve themselves of prolonged feelings of grief. 

Next time: How to Comfort Someone Who Is Grieving/Conclusion of Comforting Those Who Mourn

From The Watchtower magazine