When a Loved One Dies

Dealing With Your Grief

There is no shortage on this subject. Not all of it, however, is helpful.  For instance, you may find that some will advise you not to cry or show your feelings in any way. Others may push you to do the opposite and expose all your feelings. The Bible presents a more balanced view, on that is supported by modern research. 

In some cultures it is considered unmanly for a male to cry. But is there  a real  need to feel ashamed about shedding tears, even in public?  Mental-health experts acknowledge that tearfulness is a normal part of grieving. And grieving may, in time, help you to move on despite the enormity of your loss. Suppressing grief, however, may do more harm than good. The Bible lends no support to the notion that it is wrong or unmanly to shed tears of grief. Think of Jesus, for example. At the death of his dear friend Lazarus, Jesus openly wept, even though he had the power to bring the dead back to life! -John 11:33-35. 

Bouts of anger are often part of grieving, especially in cases of sudden, unexpected death.  There are many reasons why a bereaved person may feel angry, such as when thoughtlessness and unfounded  comments are made by a respectful person.   "I was only 14 years old when my father died," explains a South American man named Mike.  "At the funeral, the Anglican minister said that God needs good people and takes them early.  This angered me because  we desperately needed our father. Now 63 years later,it still hurts." 

And what about guilt? Especially in the case of an unexpected death, the bereaved person may repeatedly think,  'It might not have happened if only I had done this or that.' Or maybe your last encounter with the deceased  involved in an argument. This may add to your feeling of guilt.

Next time: When a Love One Dies - Conclusion of Dealing With Your Grief

From The Watchtower magazine