Prevention in the Home - Break the Cycle of Abuse

 

Under severe trial Job said: "My soul feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to my concern about myself. I will speak with the bitterness of my soul! (Job 10:1) Likewise, many parent have found that they can help their children by helping themselves.  The Harvard Mental Healthy Letter noted recently: "Strong social sanctions against the expression of pain by men apparently perpetuate the cycle of abuse. "It seems that men who never get to express their pain about having been sexually abused are more likely to become abusers themselves.  The Safe Child Book reports that most child molesters  were themselves sexually abused as children but never got help to recover.  They express their pain and anger by abusing  other children. - See also JOB 7:11; 13:20.

The risk to children may also be higher when mothers do not come to terms with past abuse.  For example, researchers report that women who were sexually abused as girls often marry men who are child abusers.  Furthermore, if a woman has not come to terms with past abuse she may understandably find it difficult to discuss abuse with her children. If abuse occurs, she may be less able to discern it and take positive action.  Then the children pay an awful price for  their mother's inaction.

Thus, abuse may pass from one generation to the next. Of course, many individuals who choose not to discuss their painful past seem able to cope well enough in life, and that is commendable.  But in many the pain is deeper, and they do need to make a concerted effort-including, if necessary, seeking competent professional help- to heal such severe childhood wounds. Their goal is not wallow in self-pity, they want to break the sick, hurtful cycle of child abuse affecting their family. - See Awake! of October 8, 1991, pages 3-11.

Next time: Prevention in the Home - The End of Abuse

From the jw.org publications