YOUR FAMILY CAN CONQUER THE WORLD

Without question, protecting your family from the world's destructive influences requires much hard work.  But there is one thing that,  more than any other, will make success possible.  It is love!  Close, loving family bonds will make your home a safe haven and will promote communication, which is a great protection from bad influences.  Further, cultivating another kind of love is even more important-love of Jehovah.  When such love permeates the family, the children are more likely  to grow up hating the very idea of displeasing God by succumbing to worldly influences. And parents who love Jehovah from the heart will seek to imitate his loving, reasonable, balanced personality.  (Ephesians 5:1; James 3:17)  If parents do that, their children will have no reason to view worship of Jehovah as just a list of things they are not allowed to do or as a way of life devoid of fun or laughter, from which they want to run away as soon as possible.  Rather, they will see that worshiping God is the happiest, fullest way of life possible.

Families that stay united in happy, balanced service to God, endeavoring wholeheartedly to remain"spotless and unblemished" from the corrupting influences of this world, are a source of joy to Jehovah. (2 Peter 3:14; Proverbs 27:11) Such families follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ, who resisted every effort of Satan's world to defile him. Near the end of his human life, Jesus was able to say:  "I have conquered the world." (John 16:33)  May your family also conquer the world and enjoy life forever! 

Next time: SINGLE PARENT FAMILIES CAN SUCCEED!  CHAPTER NINE

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

Conclusion of WHAT KIND OF RECREATION?

Wise Christian parents check the music, TV programs, videotapes, comic books, video games, and movies that interest their children.  They look at the art on the cover, the lyrics, and the packaging, and they read newspapers reviews and watch excerpts.  Many are shocked at some of the "entertainment" directed at children today.  Those  who wish to protect their children from unclean  influences sit down with the family and discuss the dangers, using the Bible and Bible-based publications, such as the book Questions Young People Ask-Answers That Work and articles  in the Watchtower  and Awake! magazines.  When parents set firm limits, being consistent and reasonable, they usually see good results. -Matthew 5:37; Philippians 4:5. 

Of course, restricting harmful forms of recreation is only part of the battle.  The bad must be countered by the good, otherwise children may drift into a wrong course.  Many Christian families have countless warm and happy memories of enjoying recreation together-picnicking, hiking, camping, playing games and sports traveling to visit relatives or friends.  Some have found that simply reading aloud together for relaxation is a great source of pleasure and comfort.   Others enjoy telling humorous or interesting stories.  Still others have developed hobbies together, for example, woodworking and other crafts as well as playing musical instruments, painting or studying God's creations.  Children who learn to enjoy such diversions are protected from much unclean entertainment, and they learn that there is more to recreation than simply sitting passively  and being entertained. Participating is often more fun than observing. 

Social gatherings can also be rewarding form of recreation. When they are well supervised  and not outlandishly large or time -consuming, they can give your children more than just fun.  They can  give your children more than just fun.  They can help to deepen the bonds of love in the congregation. -Compare Luke 14:13, 14; Jude 12.

Next time: YOUR FAMILY CAN CONQUER THE WORLD

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

WHAT KIND OF RECREATION?

Does the Bible condemn having fun? Far from it!  The Bible says that there is "a time to laugh . . .and a time to skip about." (Ecclesiastes 3:4) God's people in ancient Israel enjoy music and dancing, games, and riddles.  Jesus Christ attended a large wedding feast and "a big reception feast" that Matthew Levi put on for him.  (Luke 5:29; John 2:1, 2) Clearly, Jesus was no killjoy.  May laughter and fun never be viewed as sins in your household.  

Jehovah is "the happy God." (1 Timothy 1:11) So worship of Jehovah should be a source of delight, not something  that casts a shadow of joylessness over life.  (Compare Deuteronomy 16:15) Children are naturally exuberant and full of energy that can be released  in play and recreation.  Well-chosen recreation is more than fun.  It is a way for a child to learn and mature.  A family head is responsible to provide for his household's needs in everything, including recreation.   However, balance is required. 

In these troubled "last days," human society is filled with people who are "lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God."  Just as was prophesied in the Bible.  (2 Timothy 3:1-5) For many, recreation is the main thing in life.  There is so much entertainment available that it can easily crowd out more important things.  Further, much modern entertainment features  sexual immorality, violence, drug abuse, and other grossly harmful practices.  (Proverbs 3:31) (among too many  games played all day by kids, teenagers and some adults. The same goes for going to more sports/sports games etc, than spending time with God. God comes first and foremost, then family, where people are concerned, when it comes to finances, the mortgage/rent, utilities, food/necessities,clothing. Other important bills that pertain to basic living, then entertainment.) What can be done to safeguard youngsters from harmful entertainment?

Parents need to set boundaries and restrictions. But more than that, they need to teach their children how to judge what recreation is harmful and to know how much is too much. Such training takes time and effort.  Consider an example.  A father of two boys noticed that his older son was listening to a new radio station quite frequently .  So while driving his truck to work one day, the father  tuned in to the same station. Occasionally he stopped and jotted down the lyrics of certain songs. Later he sat down with his sons and discussed what he had heard.  He asked viewpoint questions, beginning with "What do you think?" And listened patiently to their answers.  After reasoning on the matter using the Bible, the boys agreed not to listen to that station. 

Next time: Conclusion of WHAT KIND OF RECREATION?

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

YOUR CHILDREN'S FRIENDS

"Where on earth did you learn that?" How many parents have asked that question, horrified at something that their child has said or done and that seems completely out of character? And how often does the answer involve some new friend at school or in the neighborhood?  Yes, companions affect us profoundly, whether we are young or old. The apostle Paul warned:  "Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits." (1 Corinthians 15:33; Proverbs 13:20) Youths in particular are susceptible to peer pressure.  They tend to be uncertain about themselves and may at times feel overwhelmed by a desire to please and impress their associates.  How vital it is, then, that they choose good friends!

As every parent knows, children will not always choose well; they need some guidance.  It is not a matter of choosing their friends for them.  Rather, as they grow, teach them discernment and help them to see what qualities they should value in friends.  The main quality is a love of Jehovah and of doing what is right in his eyes.  (Mark 12:28-30)  Teach them to love and respect those who possess honesty, kindness, generosity, diligence. During the family study, help children to recognize such qualities in Bible characters and then to find the same traits in others in the congregation.  Set the example by using  the same criteria in choosing your own friends.

Do you know who your children's friends are? Why not have your children bring them home so that you can meet them?  You might also ask your children what other children think about these friends. Are they known for demonstrating personal integrity or for living a double life? If the latter is true, help your children to reason on why such association could hurt them.  (Psalm 26:4, 5, 9-12)  If you notice undesirable changes in your behavior, dress, attitude, or speech, you may need to have a talk about his or her friends.  Your child may be spending time with a friend who is exerting a negative influence. -Compare Genesis 34:1, 2. 

Yet it is not enough simply to teach your children to avoid associates.  Help them to find good ones.  One father says:  "We would always try to substitute. So  when the school wanted our son on the football team, my wife and I sat down with him and discussed why that wouldn't be a good idea-because of the new companions that would be involved.   But then we suggested getting some of the other children in the congregation and taking all of them to the park to play ball. And that worked out fine." 

Wise parents help their children to find good friends and then to enjoy wholesome recreation with them.  For many parents, though, this  matter of recreation presents challenges of its own. 

Next time: WHAT KIND OF RECREATION?

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

HOMEWORK THAT PARENTS HAVE

Parents need to be ready to counteract other false ideas that may be taught at school-worldly philosophies such as evolution, nationalism,or the idea that no truths are absolute. (1 Corinthians 3:19; compare Genesis 1:27; Leviticus 26:1; John 4:24; 17:17) Many sincere school officials attach undue importance to further education. While the matter of supplementary education is a personal choice, some teacher hold that it is the only route to any personal success.

If parents are to counteract wrong or distorted teachings, they have to know just what instruction their children are receiving.  ( note: there some parents that are so old school, that they don't teach their children about sex  or much of anything else dealing with the body etc.) So, parents remember  that you have homework too!  Show a genuine interest in your children's schooling. Talk with them after school. Ask what they are learning, what they like most, what they find most challenging. Look over homework assignments, notes, and test results.  Try to get to know their teachers.  Let teachers know that you appreciate their work and that you want to be of any help in any way you can.  

Next time: YOUR CHILDREN'S FRIENDS

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

GOD'S VIEW OF SEX

The Bible makes it clear that there is nothing shameful about discussing sex in  a proper context.  In Israel, God's people were told to gather together, including  their "little ones," to listen to the reading aloud of the Mosaic Law. (Deuteronomy 31:10-12; Joshua 8:35) The Law frankly  mentioned a  number of sexual matters, including menstruation, seminal emissions, fornication, adultery, homosexuality, incest, and bestiality.  (Leviticus 15:16, 19; 18:6, 22, 23; Deuteronomy 22:22) After such readings parents no doubt had much to explain to their inquisitive youngsters.

There are passages in the fifth, sixth, and seventh chapters of Proverbs that convey loving parental counsel on the dangers of sexual immorality.  These verses show that immorality may be tempting at times. (Proverbs 5:3; 6:24, 25; 7:14-21) But they teach that it is wrong and has disastrous consequences, and they offer guidance to help young people avoid immoral ways. (Proverbs 5:1-14, 21-23; 6:27-35; 7:22-27) Furthermore, immorality is contrasted with the satisfaction of sexual pleasure in its proper setting, within marriage. (Proverbs 5:15-20)  What a fine model of teaching parents to follow!

Does such teaching lead children to commit immorality? On the contrary, the Bible teaches:  "By knowledge are the righteous rescued." (Proverbs 11:9)  Do you want to rescue your children from this world's influences? One father said:  "Ever since the children were very young, we've tried to be totally frank with them when it comes to sex.  That way, when they hear other children  talking about sex, they're not curious.  There's no big mystery."

As noted in earlier chapters, sex education should start early.  When teaching little children to name body parts, do not skip over their private parts as if these were somehow shameful.  Teach them the proper names for these.  As time passes, lessons about privacy and boundaries are essential. Preferably both parents should teach the children that these parts of the body are special, generally not to be touched or exposed  to others, and are never to be discussed in a bad way. As children grow older, they should be informed as to how a man and a woman come together to conceive a child.  By the time that their own bodies begin to enter puberty, they should already be aware of the changes  to be expected.  As was discussed in Chapter 5, such education can also help to protect children from sexual abuse. -Proverbs 2:10-14. 

Next time: HOMEWORK THAT PARENTS HAVE

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

WHO WILL TEACH YOUR CHILDREN?

Christian parents place a high value on education.  They know that schooling helps children to read, write, and communicate, as well as to solve problems.  It should also teach them how to learn.  The skills children acquire in school can help them to succeed despite the challenges of today's  world. Additionally, a good education may help them to perform superior work. -Proverbs 22:29. 

However, school also brings children together with other children-many of whom have distorted views.  For example, consider their views on sex and morals.  In a secondary school in Nigeria, a sexually promiscuous girl used to advise her fellow students about sex.  They listened to her eagerly, even through her ideas  were full of nonsense that she had gleaned from pornographic literature.   Some of the girls experimented with her advice. As a result, one girl got pregnant out of wedlock and died of a self induced abortion.

Sad to say, some of the sexual misinformation at school comes, not from children, but from teachers. Many parents are dismayed when schools teach children about sex without presenting information  on moral standards and responsibility. Said the mother of a 12-year-old girl:  "We live in a very religious conservative area, and yet right in the local high school, they're handing out condoms to the kids!" She and her husband  became concerned when they learned that their daughter  was sexual propositions from boys her own age.  How can parents  protect their family from such wrong influences?

Is it best to shield children from any mention of sexual matters?  No, it is better to teach your children about sex yourself.  (Proverbs 5:1) True, in parts of Europe  and North America, many parents shy away from this subject.  Similarly, in some African lands, parents rarely discuss sex with their children.  "It's not part of the African culture to do so, says a father in Sierra Leone.  Some parents feel that to teach children about sex, is to give them ideas that will  lead them to commit immorality!  But what are God's views?

Next time: GOD'S VIEWS OF SEX

From the book:THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

PROTECT YOUR FAMILY FROM DESTRUCTIVE INFLUENCES, CHAPTER EIGHT

YOU  are about to send your little boy to school, and it is pouring rain.  How do you handle the situation?  Do you let him go skipping out the door without any rain gear? Or do you pile on so many layers of protective clothing that he can hardly move? Of course, you do neither. You give him just what is needed to keep him dry.

In a similar way, parents must find a balanced way to protect their family from the destructive influences that rain down on them from many sources-the entertainment industry, the media, peers, and at times even the schools.  Some parents do little or nothing to shield their family.  Others, viewing nearly all outside influences as harmful, are so restrictive that the children feel as if they were suffocating. Is a balance possible?

Yes, it is. Being extreme is ineffective and can invite disaster.  (Ecclesiastes 7:16, 17)  But how do Christian parents find the right balance in protecting their family?  Consider three areas: education, association, and recreation.  

 Next time: WHO WILL TEACH YOUR CHILDREN?

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

HANDLING A DETERMINE REBEL

In some cases it becomes clear that a youth has made a definite decision to rebel and completely reject Christian values.  Then the focus should change to that of maintaining or rebuilding the family life of those who remain.  Be careful that you do not direct all your energy to the rebel, the neglect of the other children.  Instead of trying to hide the trouble from the rest of the family, discuss the matter with them to an appropriate extent and in a reassuring way. -Compare Proverbs 20:18.  The apostle Paul said of one who becomes an irreclaimable rebel in the congregation:  "Never receive him into your homes or say a greeting to him." (2 John 10)  Parents may feel it necessary to take a similar stand toward their own child if he is of legal age and becomes totally rebellious.  As difficult and wrenching as such action may be, it is sometimes essential in order to protect the rest of the family.  Your household needs your protection and continued oversight.  Hence,  keep on maintaining clearly defined, yet reasonable, boundaries of conduct.  Communicate with the other children.  Be interested in how they are doing in school and in the congregation.  Also, let them know that even though you do not approve of the rebellious child's  actions, you do not hate him.  Condemn the bad action rather than the child.  When Jacob's two sons brought ostracism upon the family because of their cruel deed, Jacob cursed their violent anger, not the sons themselves. -Genesis 34:1-31; 49:5-7.

You may feel responsible for what has happened in your family.  But if you have prayerfully done all you could, following Jehovah's counsel as well as you were able, there is no need to criticize yourself unreasonably.   Take comfort in the fact that nobody can be a perfect parent, but you conscientiously tried to be a good one.  (Compare Acts 20:26)  To have an out-and-out rebel in the family is heartrending, but if it should happen to you, be assured that God understands and he will never abandon  his devoted servants.  (Psalm 27:10) So be determined to keep your home a safe, spiritual haven for any remaining children. 

Moreover, you should never give up hope.  Your earlier efforts in proper training may eventually affect the heart of the straying child and bring him back to his senses.  (Ecclesiastes 11:6)  A number of Christian families have had the same experience as you, and some have seen their wayward children return, much as the father did in Jesus' parable of the prodigal son. (Luke 15:11-32)  The same thing may happen to you.

Next time: PROTECT YOUR FAMILY FROM DESTRUCTIVE INFLUENCES, CHAPTER EIGHT

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996 

WHEN CHILDREN GET INTO DIFFICULTY

Good parenting certainly makes a difference. Proverbs 22:6 says:  "Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it."  Still, what of children who have serious problems in spite of having good parents?  Is this possible?  Yes. The words of the proverb  must be understood in the light of other verses that emphasize the child's responsibility  to "listen" to and obey the parents.  (Proverbs 1:8) Both parent and child must cooperate in apply Scriptural principles if there is to be a family harmony.  If parents and children do not work together, there will be difficulties. 

How should parents react when a teenager errs and gets into trouble?  Then, especially, the youngster needs help.  If the parents remember that they are dealing  with an inexperience youth, they will more easily resist the tendency to overact.  Paul counseled mature ones in the congregation:  "Even though a man takes some false step before he is  aware of it, you who have spiritual qualifications try to readjust such a man in a spirit of mildness." (Galatians 6:1)  Parents can follow this same procedure when dealing with a young person who commits an error because of being thoughtless. While clearly explaining why his conduct was wrong  and how he can avoid repeating the error, the parents should  make it clear that it is the wrong conduct, not the youth, that is bad. -Compare Jude 22, 23.

What if the youngster's delinquency is very serious?  In that case the child needs special help and skillful direction.  When a congregation member commits a serious sin, he is encouraged to repent and approach the elders for help.  (James 5:14-16) Once he repents, the elders work with him to restore him spiritually.  In the family the responsibility for helping the erring teenager  rests with the parents, although they may need to discuss the matter with the elders.  They certainly should not try to conceal from the body of elders any grave sins committed by one of their children. 

A serious problem involving one's own children is very trying.  Being distraught emotionally, parents may feel like angrily threatening the wayward offspring; but this might only embitter him.  Bear in mind  that the future of this young person may depend on how he is treated during this critical time. Remember, too, that Jehovah was ready to forgive when his people deviated from what was right-if they would only repent. Listen to his loving words:" ' Come, now, you people, and let us set matters straight between us,' says Jehovah.  Though the sins of you people should prove to be as scarlet, they will be made white just like snow; though they should be red like crimson cloth, they will become even like wool.' " (Isaiah 1:18) What a fine example for parents! 

Hence, try to encourage the wayward one to change his course.  Seek sound advice from experienced parents and congregation elders.  (Proverbs 11:14) Try not to act impulsively and say or do things that would it difficult for your child to return to you.  Avoid uncontrolled wrath and bitterness. (Colossians 3:8) Do not be quick to give up. (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7) While hating badness, avoid becoming hard and embittered toward your child.  Most important, parents should strive to set a fine example and to keep their faith in God strong. 

Next time: HANDLING A DETERMINED REBEL

From the book:  THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

FILLING BASIC NEEDS CAN PREVENT REBELLION

Although parents rejoice to see their youngster grow physically from babyhood in adulthood, they may feel disturbed when their adolescent child begins to move from dependence to appropriate self-reliance.  During this transitional period, do not be surprised if your teenager is occasionally rather stubborn or uncooperative.  Keep in mind that the goal of Christian parents should be to raise a mature, stable, and responsible Christian. -Compare 1 Corinthians 13:11; Ephesians 4:13, 14. 

As difficult as it may be parents need to break the habit of responding negatively to any request from their adolescent for greater independence.  In a wholesome way, a child needs to grow as an individual.  Indeed, at a relatively young age, some teenagers begin to develop quite a grown-up outlook.  For example, the Bible says of young King Josiah:  "While he was still a boy [of about 15 years}, he started to search for the God of David."  This outstanding teenager was clearly a responsible individual. -2 Chronicles 34:1-3. 

However, freedom brings with it accountability.  Therefore, allow your emerging adult to experience the consequences of some of his decisions and actions.  The principle, "whatever a man is sowing this is will also reap," applies  to teens as well as to adults.  (Galatians 6:7)  Children cannot be sheltered forever.  What, though, if your child wants to do something that is completely unacceptable?  As a responsible parent, you have to say, "No." And, while you may explain the reasons, nothing should change your no to a yes.  (Compare Matthew 5:37)  Nevertheless, try to say "No" in a calm  and reasonable manner, since "an answer, when mild, turns away rage." -Proverbs 15:1.

Young people need the security of consistent discipline even if they do not always readily agree with the restrictions and rules.  It is frustrating if rules are frequently  changed, depending on the way a parent feels at the time.  Further, if teenagers receive encouragement and help, as needed, in coping with diffidence, shyness or lack of self-confidence, they will likely grow up to be more stable.  Teenagers also appreciate it when they receive the trust that they have earned. -Compare Isaiah 35:3, 4; Luke 16:10; 19:17. 

Parents can be comforted to know that when peace, stability, and love exist within the household, the children usually flourish.  (Ephesians 4:31, 32; James 3:17, 18) Why, many youngsters  have risen above even a bad home environment, coming from families marked by alcoholism, violence, or some other harmful influence, and have grown up  to be fine adults.  Hence, if you provide a home where your teenagers feel secure and know that they will receive love, affection, and attention-even if that support is accompanied by reasonable restrictions and discipline in harmony with Scriptural principles-they are very likely to grow up to be adults you will be proud of. -Compare Proverbs 27:11.

Next time: WHEN CHILDREN GET INTO DIFFICULTY

From the book:  THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS,  1996

PERMISSIVE ELI AND RESTRICTIVE REHOBOAM

Something else that has led to teenage rebellion is an unbalanced view of child rearing on the part of the parents.  (Colossians 3:21)  Some conscientious parents severely restrict and discipline their children.  Others are permissive, not providing guidelines  that would protect their inexperienced adolescent.  It is not always easy to strike a balance between these two extremes.  And different children have different needs. One may need more oversight than another.  Still, two Bible examples will help to show the dangers of being extreme in either restrictiveness or permissiveness.

Ancient Israel's high priest Eli was a father.  He served for 40 years, no doubt being well versed in the Law of God. Eli likely carried out his regular priestly duties quite faithfully and may even have thoroughly taught God's Law to his sons, Hophni  and Phinehas.  However, Eli was too indulgent with his sons.  Hophni and Phinehas served as officiating high priests, but they were "good-for-nothing men," interested only in satisfying their appetites  and immoral desires.  Yet, when they  committed disgraceful acts on sacred ground, Eli did not have the courage to oust them from office.  He merely gave them a feeble rebuke.  By his permissiveness, Eli honored his sons more than God. As a result, his sons rebelled against Jehovah's clean worship and Eli's whole house suffered calamity. -1 Samuel 2:12-17, 22-25, 29; 3:13, 14; 11-22. 

Eli's children were already adults when  these events took place, but this history underscores the danger of withholding discipline.  (Compare Proverbs 29:21) Some parents may confuse love with permissiveness, failing to set and enforce clear, consistent, and reasonable rules.  They neglect to apply loving discipline, even when godly principles are violated.  Because of such permissiveness, their children end up not paying attention to parental or any other type of authority. -Compare Ecclesiastes  8:11. 

Rehoboam exemplifies the other extreme in handling authority.  He was the last king of the united kingdom of Israel, but he was not a good king. Rehoboam had inherited  a land whose people were discontented because of the burdens place on them by his father.   Solomon.  Did Rehoboam show understanding?  No. When a delegation asked him to remove some of the oppressive measures, he failed to heed mature advice from his older counselors and commanded that  the people's yoke be made heavier.  His arrogance provoked a rebellion by the ten northern tribes, and the kingdom was ripped in two. -1 Kings 12:1-21; 2 Chronicles 10:19. 

Parents can learn some important lessons from the Bible account of Rehoboam.  They need to "search for Jehovah" in prayer and to examine their child-rearing methods in the light of Bible principle.  (Psalm 105:4)  "Mere oppression may made a wise on act crazy," says Ecclesiastes 7:7.  Well-thought -out boundaries give adolescents room to grow while protecting them from harm.  But children should not live in an atmosphere that is so rigid and constricting that they are prevented from developing a reasonable measure of self-reliance and self-confidence.  When parent strive  for a balance between fair latitude and firm boundaries that are clearly marked, most teenagers will feel less inclined  to rebel. 

TALK IT OUT

Adolescents will experience doubts and anxieties connected with increased independence.   They may feel a little shaky about their ability to handle themselves in the world.  It is as if they were trying  to walk on a slippery road.  You young ones, confide in your parents about your fears and the apprehensions you are experiencing.  (Proverbs 3:22) Or if you feel that your parents are holding you too tightly, talk with them about your need to be granted  more freedom.  Plan to talk with them at a time when you are relaxed and when they are not busy. (Proverbs 15:23) Take the time to really listen to each other.   

Note:  After all, we were your age once too and if not for us and God, you would not be here, period. It is the adults from past generations to now  that built this world,so we are not all as stupid you think.) 

Next time:  FILLING BASIC NEEDS CAN PREVENT REBELLION

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

CAUSES OF REBELLION

To my readers: The reason why there has not been many blogs in the afternoon, is because the Internet keeps going off for some stupid reason.  The only time it has stayed on all day is when it is raining. I have been busy, so I have not been able to call the cable people to come and check it out.  But when it does it fixed, if ever.  I will be doing a third blog every day until the Internet decides to take another break.  God bless you all and thank you for your patience. 

A major cause of rebellion is the world's satanic environment.  "The whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one."  ( 1 John 5:19)   The world in Satan's power has developed a harmful culture with which Christians have to contend.  (John 17:15)  Much of that culture is coarser, more dangerous, and full with more bad influences today than in the past. (2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13)  
If parents  do not educate, warn, and protect their children, young ones can be easily overwhelmed by "the spirit that now operates in the sons of disobedience."  (Ephesians 2:2) Related to this is peer pressure.  The Bible says:  "He that is having dealings with the stupid ones will fare badly." (Proverbs 13:20) Similarly, he that keeps company with those who are imbued with the spirit of this world is likely to be influence by that spirit.  Young 0nes require constant help if they are to appreciate that obedience to godly principles is the foundation of the very best way of life. -Isaiah 48:17, 18.


note:  If you know the difference between good and bad and the kids know these people that are bad influences that do bad things, that is no excuse to do them. If they are taught better,they can, if they want to, resist doing these things.  And another thing is, sometimes, you don't need a bad influence to take up bad habits. You can see what is going around your own home or  outside the home.  Your relatives, if they smoke or drink etc.  There is no excuse for picking up bad habits when you know right from wrong. You don't have to pay attention to peer pressure, if you do not want to. People/kids, always be true to yourself and do not try to be someone you are not.  What people don't seem to understand or get a clue of, is that it is what God wants that counts, not man. So if we do not follow his commandments and statutes, then  we are not going to have a good life. We will regret not following what God wants.  We need to obey or be punished like his children, adults or not.

Another cause of rebellion might be the atmosphere in the home. For example, if one parent is an alcoholic, abuses drugs, or is violent toward the other parent, the teenager's view of life can be warped. ( That depends also on how you were raised from childhood up, however, it can affect  a young girl's self esteem and a boy's confidence in some ways)  Even in relatively tranquil homes, rebellion may break out when a child feels that his parents  have no interest in him.  However, teenage rebellion is not always caused by external influences.  Some children turn their backs on parental values despite having   parents who abide godly principles and who shelter them, to a great extent, from the world around them.  Why?  Perhaps because of another root of out problems-human imperfection. Paul said:  "Through one man, [Adam] sin entered into the world and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because they had all sinned." (Romans 5:12)  Adam was a selfish rebel, and he left all his offspring a bad legacy.  Some youths just choose to rebel,m as their forefather did. 

Next time: PERMISSIVE ELI AND RESTRICTIVE REHOBOAM

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996 

WHAT IS A REBEL?

From time to time, you may hear of teenagers who outright rebel  against their parents.  You may even personally know of a family in which a teenager seems impossible to control.  However, it is not always easy to know whether a child is really a rebel. Moreover, it can be difficult to understand why some children rebel and others-even from the same household-do not.  If parents suspect that one of their children  may be developing into an out-and-out rebel, what should they do?  To answer this, we first have to talk about what a rebel is.   

(note: in my opinion from what I have observed, a lot of kids have been spoiled too much by being given whatever they want when they want and when they don't get it, some rebel) 

Simply put, a rebel is a person who willfully and consistently  disobeys of resists and defies a higher authority.  Of course, 'foolishness is in the heart of a child.' (Proverbs 22:15) So all children resist parental and other authority at one time or another.  This is particularly true during the time of  physical and emotional development known as adolescence.  A change in any person's life will create stress, and adolescence is all about change.  Your teenage son or daughter is moving out of childhood and onto the road to adulthood.  For this reason, during the adolescent years, some parents and children have a hard time getting along.  Often parents instinctively try to put the brakes on the transition, whereas teenagers want to speed it up.

A teenager who is a rebel turns his back on parental values.  Remember, though, that a few acts of disobedience do not make a rebel.  And when it comes to spiritual matters, some children may at first show little or no interest in Bible truth, but they may not be rebels.  As a parent, do not be quick to pin a label on your child. 

Are the adolescent years of all young people characterized by rebellion against parental authority? No, not at all. Indeed, the evidence would seem to indicate that only a minority of teenagers display serious  adolescent rebellion.   Still, what of a child who obstinately and consistently rebels? What might provoke such rebellion?

Note: Send these kids who rebel like this to book camp.   I know some parents have got their heads in the ground and don't even want to admit or see that their teenagers are acting rebelliously. But they have to come out of fantasy land and see their kids for what they are and do something about it or their kids could end up going postal on someone and end up in prison.   

Next time: CAUSES OF REBELLION 

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

IS THERE A REBEL IN THE HOUSE? CHAPTER SEVEN

A FEW days before his death, Jesus asked a group of Jewish religious leaders a thought-provoking question.  He said: "What do you think? A man had two children, going up to the first, he said 'Child, go work today in the vineyard.'  In answer this one said, 'I will sir,' but did not go out. Approaching the second, he said the same.  In reply this one said, 'I will not.' Afterwards he felt regret and went out.  Which of the two did the will of his father?" The Jewish leaders replied: "The latter." -Matthew 21:28-31.

Jesus was here highlighting the unfaithfulness of the Jewish leaders.  They were like the first son, promising to do God's will and then not keeping their promise.   But many parents will recognize that Jesus' illustration was based on a good understanding of family life.  As he so well showed, it is often difficult to know what young people are thinking or to predict what they will do.  A young person may cause many problems during his adolescence and then grow up to be a responsible, well-respected adult.  This is something to keep in mind when we discuss the problem of teenage rebellion.

Next time: WHAT IS A REBEL?

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

FROM TEENAGER TO ADULT

Even when you have problems with your teenager, the scripture still holds true:  "Love never fails."  (1 Corinthians 13:8)  Never cease to show the love that you undoubtedly feel.  Ask yourself, 'Do I compliment each child on his successes in handling problems or overcoming obstacles?  Do I seize opportunities to express my love and appreciation for my children, before those opportunities pass? Although at times there may be misunderstandings, if teenagers feel assured of your love for them, they are more likely to return that love. 

Of course, as children grow to adulthood, they will eventually make very weighty decisions for themselves.  In some cases parents may not like those decisions.  What if their child decides not to continue serving Jehovah God?  This can occur.  Even some of Jehovah's own  spirit sons  rejected his counsel and proved rebellious.  (Genesis 6:2; Jude 6) Children are not computers, which can be programmed to act the way we want.  They are creatures with free will, responsible before Jehovah for the decisions they make.  Still, Proverbs 22:6 hold true as a general rule:   "train up a boy according to  the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it."

So then, show your children plenty of love.  Do your best to follow Bible principles in raising them.  Set a fine example of godly conduct.  Thus you will give  your children the best opportunity to grow up  to be responsible, God-fearing adults.  This is the finest way for parents to show gratitude to Jehovah for the privilege of parenthood. 

Next time: IS THERE A REBEL IN THE HOUSE? CHAPTER SEVEN

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

WORK AND PLAY

In earlier times children were usually expected to help out in the home or on the farm.  Today many teenagers have a lot of unsupervised spare time. To fill that time, the commercial world provides a superabundance of material to fill leisure time. Add to this the fact that the world puts very little value on Bible standards of morality, and you have a formula for potential disaster.

Hence, the judicious parent maintains the right to make final decisions about recreation.  Do not forget, though, that the teenager is growing up.  Each year, he or she will likely  hope to be treated more like an adult. Thus, it is wise for a parent  to allow more latitude in the choice of recreation as the teenager gets older-as long as those choices reflect progress toward spiritual maturity. At times, the teenager may make unwise choices in music, associates, and so on.  When this happens, it should be discussed with the teenager so that better choices will be made in the future.

How much time should be allotted for recreation?  In some lands teenagers are led to believe that they are entitled to continual entertainment. Hence, an adolescent may plan his schedule so that he goes from one "good time" to the next.  It is up to the parents to convey the lesson that time  should also be spent on other things, such as the family, personal study, association with spiritually mature persons, Christian meetings and household chores. This will keep the "pleasures of this life" from choking out God's Word. -Luke 8:11-15.

King Solomon said:  "I have come to know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good during one's life; and also that every man should eat and indeed drink and see good for all his hard work.  (but God also does not want you to over indulge in anything)  It is the gift of God."  (Ecclesiastes 3:12, 13)  Yes, rejoicing is part of a balanced life.  But so is hard work.  Many teenagers today do not learn the satisfaction that comes from hard work or the feeling of self-respect  that comes from tackling a problem and solving it.  Some are not given the opportunity to develop a skill or trade with which to support themselves in later life.  Here is a real challenge for the parent.  Will you make sure that your young one has such opportunities?  If you can succeed in teaching your teenager to value and even enjoy hard work, he or she will develop a healthy outlook that will bring a lifetime of benefits. 

note: Some teenagers want the money but do not want to work for it. I saw a young man one day working for the city-he was suppose to pick up the trash, but he wasn't doing any of it. Oh, he picked it up and threw it back down again. This boy needed supervision to make sure that he did his job, but there weren't any.    And now days there are not enough jobs for people who have families and actually want and need to work, but can't find a job.  They should not be wasted on teenagers who don't want to work to earn the money. I worked a job as a teenager in a restaurant on the weekends 16 hours a day for two days until school, I also did chores and cleaned house and ironed clothes and did not complain.Even when I was in grade school, I did chores and  I am glad my mother had me do it. It taught me responsibility and respect for her and  the value of money and respect for myself.  A lot of teenagers have too much time on their hands and are more apt to get in trouble.   This stems from families who are too busy for their kids and women who are too busy with a career. A job I can see if it is necessary to pay rent/mortgage, at least that brings them home, but a career where they spend all their time is not healthy for the kids, any kids or family life. 

Next time: FROM TEENAGER TO ADULT

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996    

DISCIPLINE AND RESPECT

Discipline is training that corrects, and it includes communication.  Discipline carries the thought of correction more than of punishment-although punishment may come into the picture. Your children needed discipline when they were younger, and now that they are teenagers, they still need some form of it. Perhaps even more so. Wise teenagers know that this is true.

The Bible says "Anyone foolish disrespects the discipline of his father, but anyone regarding reproof is  shrewd."  (Proverbs 15:5) We learn much from this scripture. It implies that discipline will be given.  A teenager cannot 'regard reproof' if it is not given.  Jehovah gives the responsibility for administering discipline to the parents particularly the father.  However, the responsibility for listening to that discipline belongs to the teenager.  He will learn more and make fewer mistakes if he heeds the wise discipline of his father and mother.  (Proverbs 1:8) The Bible says:  "The one neglecting discipline comes to poverty and dishonor.  But the one keeping a reproof is the one that is glorified." -Proverbs 13:18.

When disciplining teenagers, parents need to be balanced.  They should avoid being so strict that they irritate their offspring, (You don't have to be strict to irritate you offspring, they basically stay that way, from what I've seen) -perhaps even damaging their children's self-confidence.  (Colossians 3:21) And yet parents do not want to be so [permissive that their youngsters miss out on vital training.  Such permissiveness can be disastrous.  Proverbs 29:17 says: "Chastise your son and he will bring you rest and give much pleasure to your soul."  However, verse 21 says: "If one  is pampering one's servant from youth on, in his later life he will become a thankless one." Although this verse is talking about a servant, it applies with equal measure to any youngster in the household.

In truth, proper discipline is a proof of the parent's love for his child.  (Hebrews 12:6, 11) If you are a parent, you know that it is difficult to maintain consistent,  reasonable discipline. For the sake of peace, it may seem easier to allow an obstinate teenager to do what he wants. In the long run, however, a parent who follows this later course will pay for it with a household that is out of control. -Proverbs 29:15; Galatians 6:9. 

Next time: WORK AND PLAY

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996 

Conclusion of WHAT TO COMMUNICATE

A weekly family Bible study is an outstanding help in communicating spiritual values to young people.  (Psalm 119:33, 34; Proverbs 4:20-23)   Having such a study regularly is vital.  (Psalm 1:1-3) Parents and their children should realize that other things must be scheduled around the family study, not vice versa.  Further, the right attitude is essential if the family study is to be effective.  One father said:  "The secret is for the conductor to foster a relaxed yet respectful atmosphere during the family study-informal but not silly. The correct balance may not always be easy to attain, and youngsters will frequently need attitude adjustment.  If things do not go well a time or two, persevere and look ahead to the next time.  This same father said that in his prayer before each study, he specifically requested help from Jehovah for the right viewpoint on the part of all involved. -Psalm 119:66.

Conducting the family study is the responsibility of believing parents.  True, some parents may not be gifted teachers, and it may be difficult for them to find ways to make the family study interesting. Nevertheless, if you love your teenagers "in deed and truth," you will desire to help them in a humble and honest way to advance spiritually.  (1 John 3:18)  They may complain from time to time, but likely they will sense your deep interest in their welfare. 

The family study is not the only occasion to communicate matters that are spiritually important.  Do you remember Jehovah's command to parents?  He said: "You must apply these words of mine to your heart and your soul  and bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they must serve as a frontlet band between your eyes.  You must also teach them to your sons, so as to speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 11:18, 19; see also Deuteronomy 6:6, 7)  This does not mean that parents must constantly preach to their children.  But a loving family head should always be on the lookout for opportunities to build up the spiritual outlook of the family. 

Next time: DISCIPLINE AND RESPECT

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

WHAT TO COMMUNICATE

If parents have not already inculcated in their children an appreciation for honesty and hard work, they should by all means do so during the teen years.  (1 Thessalonians 4:11; 2 Thessalonians 3:10) It is also vital for them to make sure that their children wholeheartedly  believe in the importance of living a moral and clean life. (Proverbs 20:11) A parent communicates much  in these areas by way of example.  Just as unbelieving husbands are "won without a word through the conduct of their wives," so teenagers can learn the right principles through the conduct of their parents.  (1 Peter 3:1) Still, example on its own is never enough, since children are also exposed to many bad examples and to a flood of enticing propaganda outside the home.  Caring parents, therefore, need to know their teenagers' views on what they see and hear, and this calls   for meaningful conversation. -Proverbs 20:5. 

This is particularly true when it comes to sexual matters.  Parents, are you embarrassed to discuss sex with your children? Even if you are, make the effort to do so, for your young ones will surely learn about the subject from someone.  If they do not learn from you, who knows what distorted information they will get?  In the Bible, Jehovah does not shy away from matters of a sexual nature, and neither should parents. -Proverbs 4:1-4; 5:1-21. 

Thankfully, the Bible contains clear guidance in the area of sexual conduct, and the Watchtower Society has published much helpful information showing that this guidance still applies  in the modern world.  Why  not make use of this help? For example, why not review  with your son or daughter the section "Sex and Morals" in that book Questions Young People Ask-Answers that Word?  You may be pleasantly surprised at the results.  

What is the most important subject that parents and children should discuss?  The apostle Paul referred to it when he wrote:  "Go on bringing [your children ] up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah." (Ephesians 6:4) Children need to keep learning about Jehovah.  In particular, they need to learn to love him, and they should want to serve him. Here, too, much can be taught by example.  If adolescents see that their parents love God 'with their whole heart and with their whole soul and with their whole mind'  and that this produces good fruits in their parents' lives, they may well be influenced to do the same.  (Matthew 22:37) Similarly, if young people see that their parents have a good reasonable view of material things, putting God's Kingdom first, they will be helped to develop the same mental attitude. -Ecclesiastes  7:12; Matthew 6:31-33. 

Next time: Conclusion of: WHAT TO COMMUNICATE 

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

HONEST AND OPEN COMMUNICATION

The Bible says:  "There is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk." (Proverbs 15:22)  If confidential talk was necessary when the children were younger, it is especially vital during the teen years-when youngsters likely spend less time at home and more time with school friends or other companions. If there is no confidential talk-no honest and open communication between children and parents-teenagers can become strangers in the house.  So how can the lines of communication be kept open? 

Both teenagers  and parent must play their part in this . True, adolescents may find it more difficult to talk with their parents than they did when they were younger.  Nevertheless, remember that "when there is no skillful direction, the people fall; but there is salvation in the multitude of counselors." (Proverbs 11:14) These words apply to all, young and old alike.  Teenagers who realize this will understand  that they still need skillful direction, since they are facing more-complex  issues than before.   They should recognize that their believing parents are well qualified as counselors because they are more experienced in life and have proved their loving concern over many years.   (and they are the parents, not the teenagers.)  Hence, at this stage in their life, wise teenagers will not turn away from their parents. 

Open communication means that the parent will try hard to be available when the teenager feels the need to talk.  (note: now days, a lot of teens want nothing to do with their parents, they think they know everything. Wrong!)  If you are a parent, make sure that communication is open at least from your side.  This may not be easy.   The Bible says that there is "a time to keep quiet and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:7) When your teenager feels it is time to speak, it may be your time to keep quiet.  Perhaps you  have set that time aside for personal study, relaxation, or work around the house.  Still, if your youngster wants to talk to you, try to adjust your plans and listen.  Otherwise, he may not try again.  Remember the example of Jesus.  On one occasion, he had scheduled a time to relax.  But when people came crowding around to hear him, he put off resting and began to teach them.  (Mark 6:30-34) Most teenagers realize that their parents lead busy lives, but they need reassurance that  their parents are there for them if needed. Hence, be available and be understanding.  

Try to remember what it was like when you were a teenager, and do not lose your sense of humor!  Parents need to enjoy being with their children.  When there is free time available, how do the parents spend it?  If they always wan to use their free time doing things that do not include their family , their teenagers will be quick to notice. If adolescents come to the conclusion that school friends think more of them than their parents do, they are bound to have problems. 

Next time:  WHAT TO COMMUNICATE

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

HELP YOUR TEENAGER TO THRIVE

HAVING a teenager in the house is very different from having a five-year-old or even  a ten-year-old.  The teen years bring their own challenges and problems, but they can also bring joys and rewards. Examples such as Joseph, David, Josiah, and Timothy show that young people can act responsibly and have a fine relationship with Jehovah. (Genesis 37:2-11; 1 Samuel 16:11-13; 2 Kings 22:3-7; Acts 16:1, 2)  Many teenagers today prove the same point.  Likely, you know some of them.

Yet, for some the teen years are turbulent. Adolescents experience emotional ups and downs.  Teenage boys and girls many want to be more independent, and they may resent limits places on them by their parents.  Yet, such youths are still quite  inexperienced and in need of loving, patient help from their parents.  (that is if they would listen) Yes, the teen years can be exciting but they can also be confusing-both for parents and for teenagers.  How can youths be helped during these years? 

Parents who follow the Bible counsel give their adolescent offspring the best possible opportunity to make their way successfully through those trials to responsible adulthood.  In all lands and during all time periods, parents and teenagers who applied Bible principles together have been blessed  with success. -Psalm 119:1. 

Next time: HONEST AND OPEN COMMUNICATION

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

SEEK DIVINE GUIDANCE

Truly, the training of a child from infancy is a challenge, but believing parents do not have to face the challenge alone.  Back in the days of the Judges, when a man name Manoah learned that he was going to be a father, he asked Jehovah for guidance on raising his child.  Jehovah answered his prayers. -Judges 13:8, 12, 24.

In  a similar way today, as believing parents raise their children, they can also speak to Jehovah in prayer. Being a parent is hard work, but there are great rewards.  A Christian couple in Hawaii says:  "You have 12 years to  get your work done before those critical teen years.  But if you have worked hard to apply Bible principles, it is time to reap joy  and peace when they decide they want to serve Jehovah from the heart."  (Proverbs 23:15, 16)  When your child makes that decision, you too will be moved to exclaim:  "Sons [and daughters] are an inheritance  from Jehovah." 

Next time: HELP YOUR TEENAGER TO THRIVE, CHAPTER SIX

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM HARM

Many adults look back on their childhood as a happy time.  They recall a warm feeling of safety, a certainty that their parents would look after them no matter what. Parents want their children to feel that way,but in today's degenerate world, it is harder than it used to be to keep children safe. 

One ugly threat that has grown in recent years is sexual molestation of children. In Malaysia, reports of child molestation quadrupled over a period of ten years.  In Germany  some 300,000 children are sexually abused each year, while in a South American country, according to one study, the estimated annual number is a staggering  9,000,000! Tragically, the majority of these children are molested in their own home by people they know and trust.  But children should have a strong defense in their parents.  How can parents be protectors? 

Since experience shows that children who know little about sex are especially vulnerable to child molesters, a major preventive step is to educated the child, even when he is still young. Knowledge can provide protection "from the bad way, from the man speaking perverse things." (Proverbs 2;10-12)  What knowledge?  Knowledge of Bible principles, of what is morally right and wrong. Knowledge too that some grown-ups do bad things and that a young person does not  have to obey when people suggest inappropriate acts. (Compare Daniel 1:4, 8; 3:16-18) Do not limit such instruction to a onetime talk.  Most young children need to have a lesson repeated before they remember  it well. As children grow a little older, a father would lovingly respect his daughter's right to privacy, and a mother her son's-thus reinforcing a child's sense of what is proper.  And, of course, one of the best safeguards against abuse is close supervision by you as parents. 

Next time: SEEK DIVINE GUIDANCE 

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

THE VITAL NEED OF DISCIPLINE

Discipline is training that corrects the mind and heart.  Children need it constantly. Paul counsels fathers to "go on bringing [their children ] up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah." (Ephesians 6:4) Parents should discipline in love, just as Jehovah does. (Hebrews 12:4-11) Discipline based on love can be conveyed by reasoning.  Hence, we are told to "listen to discipline." (Proverbs 8:33) How should discipline be given? 

Some parents  think that disciplining their children involves merely speaking to them in threatening tones, scolding them, or even insulting them.    However, on the same subject, Paul cautions:  "You, fathers, do no be irritating your children." (Ephesians 6:4)  All Christians are urged to be "gentle toward all . . .instructing them with mildness those not favorably disposed." ( 2 Timothy 2:24, 25) 

 (Note: Talking to them gently-nicely, does not work half the time. That is the same thing as letting them get away with it. It shows in the Bible, that a when a son is acting out-being bad, that you should a rod for his back, I would say, his butt.  I have seen what happens to kids who are just talked to gently and mildly.  They overrun their parents. I am saying you should beat them, but  a good pat on the butt, where they feel a slight sting usually works the best. The thing is there are stupid people out there who don't know the difference between a beating and a spanking. There is a difference and a spanking works, at least it did back in my days.  My mother only had to spank me two times in my child life and that was enough to show me who was boss and I respected her more) Christian parents, while recognizing  the need for firmness, try to keep these words in mind when disciplining their children. At times, though, reasoning is insufficient, and some kind of punishment may be needed. -Proverbs 22:15. 

Different children require different kind of discipline.  Some are not "corrected by mere words."  For them, the occasional punishment administered for disobedience may be lifesaving.  (Proverbs 17:10; 23:13:14; 29:19)  A child, though, should understand why is is being punished.  "The rod and reproof are what gave wisdom." (Proverbs 29:15; Job 6:24)  Moreover, punishment has boundaries.  "I shall have to chastise you to the proper degree," said Jehovah to his people.  (Jeremiah 46:28b)   The Bible does not endorse angry whippings or beatings, (you do not do this while you are angry, calm down first)  which could bruise or injure a child. -Proverbs 16:32.  (It is possible to spank without bruising. But each child is different, certain  things work better for other children spankings worked best for us.  My parents had nothing to take away from us to punish us and since i was sensitive, I did not need much, just a dirty look would do it for me.)  
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When Jehovah warned his people that he would discipline them.  He first said:  "Do not be afraid . . .for I am with you." (Jeremiah 46:28a) Likewise, parental discipline , in whatever appropriate form, should never leave a child feeling rejected (Colossians 3:21) Rather, the child should sense that discipline is given because the parent is 'with him,' on his side. 

Next time: PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM HARM

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

Conclusion of: INCULCATE THE TRUTH IN YOUR CHILD

Most parents know that getting information into a child's heart is not easy.  The apostle Peter urged fellow Christians: "As newborn infants,  form a longing for the unadulterated milk belonging to the word." (1 Peter 2:2) The expression "form a longing" suggests that many do not naturally hunger for spiritual food.  Parents may need to find ways to develop that longing in their child.

Jesus reached hearts by using illustrations. (Mark 13:34; Luke 10:29-37) This teaching method is especially effective with children.  Teach Bible principles by using colorful, interesting stores, perhaps those found in the publication My Book of Bible Stories.  Get children involved. Let them use their creativity in drawing and acting out Bible events.  Jesus also used questions. (Matthew 17:24-27) Imitate his method during your family study.  Instead of simply stating a law of God, ask questions like, Why did Jehovah give us this law?  What will happen if we do not keep it?  Such questions help a child a child to reason and to see that God's laws are practical and good. -Deuteronomy 10:13.  

By being an example, a companion, a communicator, and a teacher, you can help your child from his earliest years to form a close personal relationship with Jehovah God.  This relationship will encourage your child to be happy as a Christian.  He will strive to live up to his faith even when faced with peer pressure and temptations. Always help him to appreciate this precious relationship. -Proverbs 27:11.

Next time: THE VITAL NEED OF DISCIPLINE

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

Continue with: INCULCATE THE TRUTH IN YOUR CHILD

Be a communicator. Spending time with your child will help you to communicate with him.  The more you communicate, the better you will discern how is personality is developing. Remember, though, communicating is more than talking. "I had to develop the art of listening," said a mother in Brazil, "listening with my heart."  Her patience bore fruit when her son began to share his feelings with her. 

Children need "a time to laugh . . .and a time to skip about,"  a time for recreation. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4; Zechariah 8:5)  Recreation is very productive when parents and children enjoy it together.  It is a sad fact that in many homes recreation means watching television.  While some television  programs may be entertaining, many destroy good  values, and watching television tends to stifle communication in the family.  Therefore, why not so something creative with your children? Sing, play games, associate with friends, visit enjoyable places.  Such activities encourage communication. 

Be a teacher."You must inculcate [these words] in your son." said Jehovah.  The context tells you what and how to teach.   First, you must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your vital force." (Deuteronomy 6:5) Then, "these words . . .you must inculcate." Impart instruction aimed at developing whole-souled love for Jehovah and his laws.  (Compare Hebrews 8:10) The world "inculcate" means to teach by repetition.  So Jehovah, in effect, tells you that the primary way to help your children develop a godly personality is to talk about him on a consistent basis.  This includes having a regular Bible study with them. 

Next time: Conclusion of: INCULCATE THE TRUTH IN YOUR CHILDREN 

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

INCULCATE THE TRUTH IN YOUR CHILD

The quality of a building depends largely on the sort of materials used in the structure. The apostle Paul said that the best construction materials for Christian personalities are "gold, silver, precious stones." (1 Corinthians 3:10-12) These represent qualities  such as faith, wisdom, discernment, loyalty, respect, and loving appreciation for Jehovah and his laws. (Psalm 19:7-11; Proverbs 2:1-6; 3:13, 14)  How can parents help their children from earliest childhood to develop these qualities?  By following a procedure outlined long ago.

Shortly before the nation of Israel entered the Promised Land, Jehovah told Israelite parents:  "These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7) Yes, parents need to be examples, companions, communicators, and teachers.

Be and example. First, Jehovah said: "These words . . .must prove to be on your heart." The he added:"You must inculcate them in your son." So Godly qualities must first be in the child's heart.  the parent must love the truth and live it. Only then can he reach the child's heart. (Proverbs 20:7)  Why? Because children are influenced more by what they see than what they hear. -Luke 6:40; 1 Corinthians 11:1. 

Be a companion.  Jehovah told parents in Israel:  'Speak with your children when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road. This requires spending time with the children no matter how busy the parents are.  Jesus evidently felt that children were deserving of his time.  During the final days of his ministry, "people began bringing him young children for him to touch these.'  What was Jesus' reaction?  "He took the children  into his arms and began blessing them." (Mark 10:13, 16) Imagine, the final hours of Jesus' life were ticking away.  Still, he gave these children his time and attention.  What a fine lesson!

Next time: Continue with: INCULCATE THE TRUTH IN YOUR CHILD

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

FILLING YOUR CHILD'S NEEDS

Proverbs 22:6 says: "Train up a boy according to the way for him."   Training children is another major parental duty. When, though, should that training start? Very early.  The apostle Paul noted that Timothy had been trained "from infancy."  (2 Timothy 3:15)  The Greek word used here can refer to a small baby or even an unborn child. (Luke 1:41, 44; Acts 7:18-20 ) Hence, Timothy received training from when he was very young-and rightly so. Infancy is the ideal time to begin training a child.  Even a young baby has a hunger for knowledge.

When I first saw my baby, says one mother, "I fell in love with him."  So do most mothers.  That beautiful attachment between mother and baby grows as they spend time together following the birth. Nursing adds to that intimacy.  (Compare 1 Thessalonians 2:7)  A mother's caressing her baby and talking to it  are crucial to filling the baby's emotional needs.  (Compare Isaiah  66:12)  But what about the father?  He too should form a close connection with his new offspring.  Jehovah himself is an example of this.  In the book of Proverbs, we learn of Jehovah's relationship with his only-begotten S0on, who is represented as saying: "Jehovah himself produced me as the beginning of his way . . .I cam to be the one he was specially fond of day by day." (Proverbs 8:22,30; John 1:14)  Similarly,  a good father cultivates a warm, loving relationship  with his  child right from the beginning  of the child's life.  "Show lots of affection," says one parent.  "No child ever died from hugs and kisses."

But babies need more.   From the moment of birth, their brains are ready to receive and store information, and parents are a primary source of this.  Take language as an example. Researchers say that how well a child learns to talk and  to read is "thought to be closely related  to the nature of the child's early  interaction with his parents."  Talkk and read to your child from babyhood on.  Soon he will want to copy you, and before long you will be teaching him to read. Likely, he will be able to read before entering school.  That will be especially helpful if you live in a country where teachers are few and classrooms are crowded. 

The foremost concern of Christian parents is filling their child's spiritual needs.  (See Deuteronomy 8:3) With what goal?  To help their child to develop  a Christlike personality.  In effect to put on "the new personality." (Ephesians 4:24) for this they need to consider proper building materials and proper building methods.   

Next time: INCULCATE THE TRUTH IN YOUR CHILD

From the book: THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996

ACCEPTING THE BIBLE'S VIEW

In many homes around the world, men view child training as chiefly woman's work.  True, the Word of God points to the father's role as principal breadwinner.  However, it also says that he has responsibilities  in the home.    The Bible says:  "Prepare your work out of doors, and make it ready for yourself in the field. Afterward you must also build up your household." (Proverbs 24:27)  In God's view, fathers and mothers are partners in child training. -Proverbs 1:8, 0.

How do you view your children? Reports say that in Asia "baby girls often receive a poor welcome."  Bias against girls reportedly still exists in Latin America, even among the "more enlightened families."  The truth is, though, girls are not second-class children.  Jacob, a noted father of ancient times, described all his offspring, including any daughters born up to that time, as "the children with whom God has favored [me]."  (Genesis 33:1=5; 37:35) Likewise, Jesus blessed all "the young children" (boys and girls) that were brought to him.  (Matthew 19:13-15) We can be sure that he reflected Jehovah's view. -Deuteronomy 16:14. 

Does your community expect a woman to give birth to as many children as possible?  Rightfully, how many children a married couple have is their personal decision.  What if parents lack the means to feed, clothe and educated numerous children? ( With the way the world is today, you should limit yourself to a certain amount of children-to which you can afford to take care of financially. The parents should not think that should they have more, that the public-state  should have to help take care of them.) Surely, the couple should consider this when deciding on the size of their family. (to do otherwise would be selfish in many ways)  Some couples who cannot support all their children entrust relatives with the responsibility to raise some of them.  Is this practice desirable? (Not to me; it is selfish to expect that, unless the relatives are willing to do so) Not really. And it does not relieve the parents of their obligation toward their children.  The Bible says:  "If any one does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith."  (1 Timothy 5:8)  Responsible couples try to plan the size of their "household" so that they  can 'provide' for those who are their own.' Can they practice birth control  in order to do this?  That too is a personal decision, and if married couples do decide on this course, the choice of contraceptive is also a personal matter. "Each one will carry his own load."  (Galatians 6:5) However, birth control that involves any form of abortion goes contrary to Bible principles.  Jehovah God is "the source of life." (Psalm 36:9) Therefore, to snuff out a life after it has been conceived would show gross disrespect  for Jehovah and is tantamount to murder. -Exodus 139:16; Jeremiah 1:5. 

Next time: FILLING YOUR CHILD'S NEEDS

From the book:  THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996