GOOD COMMUNICATION

Love and respect are essential in another area of marriage-communication.  The loving husband will converse with his wife about her activities, her problems, her views on various matters.  She needs this.  A husband who takes the time to speak with his wife and really listens to what she says demonstrates his love and respect  for her. (James 1:19)   Some wives complain that their husbands may work long hours outside the home, and economic circumstances may result in some wives holding a job also.   But a married couple need to reserve time for each other. Otherwise, they may become independent of each other.  It could lead to serious problems if they felt compelled to seek sympathetic companionship  outside the marriage arrangement. 

The way wives and husbands communicate is important. "Pleasant sayings are .  . .sweet to the soul and a healing to the bones." (Proverbs 16:24) Whether a mate is a believer or not, the Bible counsel applies:  "Let  your utterance he always be graciousness, seasoned with salt."  that is, in good taste.  (Colossians 4:6) When one has had a difficult  day, a few kind, sympathetic words from one's mate can  do much good.  "As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it." (Proverbs 5:11)  The tone of voice and the choice of words are very important.  For example, in an irritated, demanding manner, one may tell the other: "Shut that door!"  But how much more "seasoned with salt" are the words, said in a calm, understanding voice.  "Would you mind closing the door please?" 

Good communication flourishes when there are gently spoken words, gracious looks and gestures, kindness, understanding, and tenderness.   By working hard to maintain good communication.  Both husband and wife will feel free to make their needs known, and they can be sources of comfort and help to each other in times of disappointment or stress.  "Speak consolingly to the depressed souls," urges God's Word. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)  there will be times  when the husband is down-hearted and times when the wife is.  They can "speak consolingly," building each other up. -Romans 15:2. 

Marriage partners manifesting love and respect will not see every disagreement as a challenge.  They will work hard not to be  "bitterly angry" with each other.  (Colossians 3:19)  Be careful not to belittle or condemn a mate who pours out heartfelt feelings. Instead, view such expressions as an opportunity to gain insight into the other's' viewpoint.  Together, try to work out differences and come to a harmonious conclusion.

Next time: Conclusion of GOOD COMMUNICATION

From the book:  THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996