ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE?

Constructing a building may be expensive, but caring for its long-term maintenance is costly as well. It is similar with marriage. Getting married seems challenging enough, however, maintaining a marital relationship year after year must also be considered.  What does maintaining such a relationship entail?  A vital factor is a wholehearted  commitment. Here is how the Bible describes the marriage relationship:  "A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)  Jesus Christ gave the only Scriptural basis for divorce with the possibility of remarriage-"fornication," that is, illicit sex relations outside the marriage.  (Matthew 19:9)  If you are contemplating marriage bear these Scriptural standards in mind. If you are not ready for this solemn commitment, then you are not ready for marriage. -Deuteronomy 23:21; Ecclesiastes 5:4, 5.

The idea of a solemn commitment frightens many.  "Knowing that the two of us were stuck together for life made me feel pushed into a corner, closed in, totally confined, confessed one young man.  But if you really love the person  (note: first find out what love actually means, don't ask your friends, they don't know anymore than you do. If you think hard enough and are close to God, he will give you the answer, because there is much more to a marriage than love and commitment) you intend to marry, commitment will not seem like a burden.  Instead, it will be viewed as a source of security.  The sense of commitment implied in marriage will make a couple want to stay together through good times and bad and to be supportive of each other come what may.  The Christian apostle Paul wrote that true love  "bears all things" and endures all things." ( 1 Corinthians 13:4, 7) "The commitment of marriage makes me feel more secure,"says one woman.  "I love the comfort of having admitted to ourselves and the world that we intend to stick together." -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. 

Living up to such a  commitment requires maturity.  Thus, Paul counsels that Christians do better not to marry until they are "past the bloom of youth," the period when sexual feelings run strong and can distort one's judgment. (1 Corinthians 7:36) Your people change rapidly as they grow up.  Many who marry when very young find that after just a few years their needs and desires, as well as those of their mate, have changed.  Statistics reveal that teenagers who marry are much more likely to be unhappy and seek divorce than those who wait a little longer.  So do not rush into marriage.   Some years spent living as a young, single adult can give you precious experience that will make you more mature and better qualified to be a suitable mate.  Waiting to get married can also help you to understand yourself better-a necessity if you are to develop  a successful relationship in your marriage.  

(Note: First read the Bible on love, then think for a bit.  loving someone is listening to their thoughts, their hopes, their dreams and talking about whatever they want to talk about. Love is compromising, waiting, working things out calmly. Love is giving each other space, when one or the other needs it.  Love is granting needs without pressure.   It is sometimes reading each other's emotions and  helping your loved one get through whatever is upsetting or bothering them, Love is treating each other with respect, being truthful and honest at all times, holding nothing back.  Love is not abusive -verbally or physically. Love is not sneaky or secretive. Love is giving of affection.  Love is telling your spouse that you love them at least once a day.  Love is giving of your time, effort, energy, love is giving 100% of yourself-each of you.   Love also includes Love of God. Make time to serve and worship him, have faith and trust in him and he will take good care of you. Guaranteed.  I know. He takes good care of me. This will get you on the right path.)

Next time: KNOW YOURSELF FIRST

From the book: THE SECRET TO FAMILY HAPPINESS, 1996