FILLING BASIC NEEDS CAN PREVENT REBELLION

Although parents rejoice to see their youngster grow physically from babyhood in adulthood, they may feel disturbed when their adolescent child begins to move from dependence to appropriate self-reliance.  During this transitional period, do not be surprised if your teenager is occasionally rather stubborn or uncooperative.  Keep in mind that the goal of Christian parents should be to raise a mature, stable, and responsible Christian. -Compare 1 Corinthians 13:11; Ephesians 4:13, 14. 

As difficult as it may be parents need to break the habit of responding negatively to any request from their adolescent for greater independence.  In a wholesome way, a child needs to grow as an individual.  Indeed, at a relatively young age, some teenagers begin to develop quite a grown-up outlook.  For example, the Bible says of young King Josiah:  "While he was still a boy [of about 15 years}, he started to search for the God of David."  This outstanding teenager was clearly a responsible individual. -2 Chronicles 34:1-3. 

However, freedom brings with it accountability.  Therefore, allow your emerging adult to experience the consequences of some of his decisions and actions.  The principle, "whatever a man is sowing this is will also reap," applies  to teens as well as to adults.  (Galatians 6:7)  Children cannot be sheltered forever.  What, though, if your child wants to do something that is completely unacceptable?  As a responsible parent, you have to say, "No." And, while you may explain the reasons, nothing should change your no to a yes.  (Compare Matthew 5:37)  Nevertheless, try to say "No" in a calm  and reasonable manner, since "an answer, when mild, turns away rage." -Proverbs 15:1.

Young people need the security of consistent discipline even if they do not always readily agree with the restrictions and rules.  It is frustrating if rules are frequently  changed, depending on the way a parent feels at the time.  Further, if teenagers receive encouragement and help, as needed, in coping with diffidence, shyness or lack of self-confidence, they will likely grow up to be more stable.  Teenagers also appreciate it when they receive the trust that they have earned. -Compare Isaiah 35:3, 4; Luke 16:10; 19:17. 

Parents can be comforted to know that when peace, stability, and love exist within the household, the children usually flourish.  (Ephesians 4:31, 32; James 3:17, 18) Why, many youngsters  have risen above even a bad home environment, coming from families marked by alcoholism, violence, or some other harmful influence, and have grown up  to be fine adults.  Hence, if you provide a home where your teenagers feel secure and know that they will receive love, affection, and attention-even if that support is accompanied by reasonable restrictions and discipline in harmony with Scriptural principles-they are very likely to grow up to be adults you will be proud of. -Compare Proverbs 27:11.

Next time: WHEN CHILDREN GET INTO DIFFICULTY

From the book:  THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS,  1996